Lattes for Two
by Neptunes Tears
Summary: Michiru Kaiou is a bright young girl with her whole life ahead of her, however she moves out West alone with nothing but her dreams and her desires. Working at a local coffee shop, Michiru meets someone who changes her life forever. H&m! R&R Thanx!
1. Prologue: Anticipation

**Disclaimers:**

I do not own the characters Haruka or Michiru or anything to do with Sailormoon Unfortunately.. :ignores the muffed noises coming from her bedroom:...

However artists alley is my own creation..It is a beautiful place I hope to go someday.

**Authors notes:**

Let me say that writing again brings tears to my eyes its been sooooooooooo long since the last time I felt able to write, since Love lore of the wind and sea, with an outstanding 70+ reviews! Thank-you. Someday I will write a sequel when I get over the fear that it won't be as good as the first. :shifty eyes:  
I am so happy to be inspired again, I only hope this small trickle of inspiration floods out to be a sea of churning ideas and thoughts. Whoa getting poetic again .' Anyway.. The inspiration for this story is because I work at Starbucks and an actual customer comes in and buys latte's, and once before Christmas she came in only buying one and looking really upset somehow. (You'll figure it out more after you read my story 3 lol)  
She's a strong handsomely beautiful woman, who I admire and blush over..It's just an infatuation of mine, nothing more as I have a girlfriend and I'm about 20 years too young lol..but..I am glad it inspired me, and I hope I can capture the essence of this beautiful feeling into words. Thanks for my online buddy, Rai. Also my wonderful Ruka (Jess) and my friend Ruka-kun in Holland(Hi!) and 'sunlit garden' from Revolutionary girl Utena, which were great inspiration. 3  
Actually this story has been liberating as much as frustrating. It gets better after the first bit, just be patient. I just cant write a nice short little 3 piecer, can I :sigh: Yosh!  
Updated (after weeks of nonwritting:) Okay the author has conversation hearts, still soft from V-day! Lets go!

And without further ado, I give:'Lattes for Two'

**Anticipation: A prologue of sorts**

My name is Kaiou Michiru, and my story begins with the confession that I have a secret.

In high school, which was primarily made up of outstanding students, (either academically, artistically, musically, or physically) I was head of my class in mostly everything. I was first chair in Orchestra, the model student in painting, and the strongest in my swim team. But despite all of this, when I was alone at night on my bed, with just my thoughts, I felt so empty. I did all of those things to constantly fill an ache that I felt so fiercely that it startled me; an ache that I suppressed for so long that I thought for sure it was just some dream, lingering under the surface; that I had imagined it. I excelled in all of these things, focused so hard, because it was a distraction from the 'nightmare'. Eventually I realised that it wasn't just a dream, or a phase I was going through. That it wasn't just that guys personality, or the way the other held his books, or the way the kid who sits behind me in history stuffs his hands in his pockets when he talked. I began to realise that it wasn't just me being particular anymore but rather a complete lack of interest, besides the occasional browsing of the opposite sex. More like the way someone eyes something over the counter at checkout.

I excelled because I felt I had nothing else to offer my parents; no husband and three children all packed together in a happy SUV in my future. I wanted so much to make them proud and happy of me. If only they had known and accepted my secret, if only anyone had known, I might not have felt so alone, if I knew they had loved me for this.

But no one knew. It was just an aching feeling in my heart day in and day out, which caused me so much confusion and inner turmoil inside that I barley made it through high school. Around my friends and peers it was nearly unbearable. That's when simply 'Kaiousan' emerged. I came off as overly confident, untouchable, intimidating and cool toward guys, threatening or stuck-up toward the girls. I had always begged my parents to let me go to an all girls school, a private school, or even home schooling. I would walk by after school ever since I could remember, going out of my way just to pass the Carrolton academy; a private all girls school. I felt so comfortable, even if behind the chain linked fence looking in. Since I was little I would watch in secret as the laughing girls would embrace each other after classes, played together as sisters, and sometimes I only now realised hand and hand, as friends? My cheeks always flushed gently as I thought of this, and it somehow exposed my inner admiration. Once or twice when I had mentioned the school, my parents would always shift their forks against their plates at dinner and glance to each other in such a way that made my stomach clench uncomfortably.

Did they sense something in such an innocent yearning?

Needless to say, I had very few friends and even more crushes by the opposite sex because of this. It always amazed me that being completely uninterested attracted the most admires. One in particular was the captain of the football team in my junior/senior year, which was so ironic in itself that I often looked back at it like a cruel joke that my life played on me in return for my growing inner predicament.  
According to my mother he was, 'every high school girl's dream boyfriend'. He made it his mission everyday to get my attention somehow. I tried in so many ways to let him know I wasn't interested, and till this day he still wont give up. By now he has probably heard of my new whereabouts, and of my new 'insidious' life.  
I was always afraid that one day he would really let his temper show and do something in retaliation, because no girl in school ever denied him, but I don't have to worry where I am now. This place is not his type of entertainment, nor to his jock friends. Except to idealists and artists, this place is like an undiscovered treasure. And brining anyone here from another town who wasn't like us, is an unwritten rule.

In all seriousness though, when I look back on it, I wasn't interested in anyone during that time simply because I didn't know _what _I was interested in. It made me feel so left out from my friends when they talked endlessly about their crushes, and I tried talking endlessly too. But when all the lies began to crush me, I created an outlet in an effort to keep my sanity. A silent friend I could always reveal my inner desires to; my sketchbook.  
It was a secret sketchbook I kept tucked inside one of my bed pillows, where my mother couldn't find it. She's always was a mentor and an instructor at times, both my parents were, but I always felt like I lived in a petri dish under the eye of a looking glass. They both had their own ideals for my future, I think that's what hurt me most of all about leaving and starting this life.  
However, my curiosity in girls and my own individuality only grew by the time I graduated. Finally when I wanted to go to a college in a city known not only for its expansion of self and art, but its_'individuality'_, my parents didn't want to process this thought any further. They told me that I was taking a path in life they couldn't (wouldn't) follow anymore and would no longer ignore my choices.

So I set off with enough money in my account to start of with, my violin, my sketch book, and a eight a.m. bus heading West. As I slid in my seat I unconsciously ran my thumb along my sketch book's cover, as I watched the tree tops fly by in sparkling sunlight and motion. The sketchbook had been my refuge since I was little and however battered the cover was now, it was the foundation for my heart. These feelings were expressed in the only way I could possibly allow at that confused time; in strokes and curves of graphite.  
If it had not been for sheer luck I wouldn't even have found 'Artist Alley.' This corner of town seemed so sleepy and peaceful during the day, like a Monet or some other beautiful Impressionist painting. It changes and meshes in the wind like a kaleidoscope when you squint in the distance; shifting in light and colour. At night, it's a Musicians haven. Sessions are held in the square, right by the most beautiful brass fountain I have ever seen. It's Victorian and green with age but its been the focal point of the square since the beginning and has three mermaids smiling and reaching for the warmth of the sun, the surf around their scaly hips, their bodies twisted mid jump, like dancing.  
Young women walk around looking beautiful in airy scarf's and sheer dresses and the guys sing to them on their guitars. Poets write and artists dream.

The 'Café Luna' is a small eatery which serves coffee and pastries that are to die for and it's the very heart of the alley. Mostly all who go here are regulars. Some are artists, some are poets, all looking to start their life and some looking to lose their self in it.  
The café is open early in the morning till dusk and the temptation to emerge from the covers for a fresh baked pastry at five a.m. never seems like a bad idea. Always the scents tease the senses, the laughter of people and the happy atmosphere, make it such charming place. I had arrived upon it by accidentally one day, midmorning when I was wandering this small corner of town looking for a cheap apartment near the very specific art college I was saving to attend. It is where everyone knows you and there is no hate here. Maybe some envy, but always genuine admiration of talent.

The alley has been here since anyone can remember. My first observation as I walked down Main Street was picture perfect in its self. It was like old Italy, with sun-dried clay dirt roads, balconies with wild flowers climbing up lattices, little vegetable gardens that the college kids kept during the summers and ginger tabbies who stretch lazily among clovers, napping in the pools of sunlight in quiet overgrown backyards.  
I lived on the upper floor of a two-story building above an elderly piano teacher, Lady Anigusta, (pronounced: Onii-goos-ta), whom I've become friends with since coming here. I don't know if that is her real name as she always likes keeping a mysterious persona with people. But we don't mind, she's a kindly woman who's been living in the Alley since it began. She's fun and lively for her age and welcomes in anyone who needs her help, advice, or lessons; musically or otherwise. She always wears glittering bangles and fashionable jewellery that could as well be from the Victorian ages. They tap the old baby grand's keys when she plays, 'keeping the tempo' we jest.

Just last summer for her birthday I gave her an old fashioned sun hat adorned with real dried flowers and a lovely ivory feather which wrapped around the middle and floated up in a delicate arch that just made her look even more exotic. There was a rumour that the town was founded by people just like me, running away from their social and parental expectations. Mrs. Anigusta was equal in status of a Queen of Artist Alley back then, there's even a picture of her sitting on a chair adorned with furs and glittering sequin shams, looking nothing less of a empress or a goddess, a handsome woman in dockers at her elbow smiling. But she had ruled alone since a bitter time in the fifties, since her lover suddenly disappeared, and for all I know, leased an SUV and began to live the American dream that I had tried so hard to run from. I don't know if it is true for sure, but if the music she plays is any indication, then I believe so. I only hope love is not so cruel for me.  
She won't talk about it, how hard the past was for woman like us compared to now. But sometimes the normal strains of Chopin, Mozart, and Bach, are replaced with chords and melodies so thick with frustration, anguish, loneliness and pain, that I wake up in the middle of the night with tears streaming down my face. The heavy chords pound through the walls, in my head, my very heart beat. I lay motionless as that hidden ache, so thick that I can hardly breath, burns inside my chest for release. The music floats up the stair or through the open balcony, sneaking into my awareness, just like the burning fever of those first adolescent dreams. It creeps like a snake into my mind, weaving through my defences, through hidden walls; Walls that society made people like me build to survive. The music makes me know, forces me to know, the pain. It tugs my mind into a state of warm suspension within myself. It is here, in this anguished history; those common threads, that awareness women like me have felt for centuries.  
It is there, in that primordial soup of rebirth, where the most trouble had begun for me. This trouble came by what else? Dreams.

Currently I had been having dreams at night of a certain person. I cannot see their face, but I can sense their presence. It is neither soft nor strong, the scent is neither masculine nor feminine; It is the wind itself. The sunlight where we are is so warm and delightful on my skin that I close my eyes and smile as I feel their fingertips brush against my lips and cheek. I can only see wisps of sandy blond hair, and emerald sea-green eyes, glowing like cat eyes crinkled from happiness looking down at me. But the sound of someone out on the street, a meowing tomcat, or tipsy teenagers rushing down the halls, wakes me in the middle of the night. Thick with sleep, their face is indented into my awareness. I draw them almost feverishly, before the dream slips away fully. I do not know who this person is, or if they even exist. But I have a feeling, now that I am finally able to branch out on my own, that I will discover this something or someone. This is the focus of the desirable ache which has been choking me up since I can remember. It is such that now, my heart quickens and I feel dizzy with excitement.

All I can remember about the day before I left home was how I could almost taste this something in the sea breeze and how the wind seemed as excited and unsure as me. The surf lapped against my ankles one last time, its icy coolness waking me from my thoughts as I heard my parents calling me for dinner.

Where I went, this coast would be miles away, however somehow, I felt like I will finally find my true home..


	2. Aroma

1**Aroma**

Michiru Kaiou sat behind the espresso machines, on the edge of the counter with her legs propped up against the cold drink station. The blenders, which had been long near silenced over the winter, would seem never to stop come summer; the older employees warned. But for now the aroma of coffee and scones was enough, the chill of mid spring just a few weeks shy of waning.

She had spend two seasons looking for a place to settle and taking one of those seasons just to pack everything into boxes and convince her parents to let her go at all. Finding a place cheap enough had been the problem and if there hadn't have been a number of hotels so close to the west coast, Michiru would have been in a lot of uncomfortable situations. Even if her bank account was near empty, when she finally found Artists Alley, it had all seemed worth it. She took up work in a well seasoned and well known coffee shop, 'café Luna'. And although it was new to her, never working in the lingo of coffee before or being a fan of it, she was a fast learner. It wasn't long before her sketch pad, which was worn and battered around the edges, leaned against her brought up knees once again.

The sun was just starting to set outside and reflected beautiful hues of gold and crimson. Blossoms floated by the window in a timeless gesture. A trickle of warm breeze would occasionally draft through the open window**s **and blow the sheer curtains. It was the type of day that held secrets and made you breathe shortly with anticipation.

Lucky for her it was a slow day, and she hoped perhaps at the end of her shift her feet wouldn't ache quite as much. It was a love hate relationship between her and the café. But on slow days like this, when she could hear the tea spoons tinkling together in the breeze from the home made wind chime the owner received half a decade ago, she had to like it, even if it was hard work. She was lucky though, the people weren't hardly as rude at times then most of the time at some of the cafe's in the city.

In the back of her awareness, the bell on the welcoming café door tinkled lightly as people drifted in and out, as if trying not to break the serene atmosphere. It was surprising to realise that there was a bustling city just in the out reaches of town, but this coffee shop was timeless. Light Jazz played in the background, giving it and a homey yet classy feel.

Michiru's eyes strained and almost unfocused as she fell into her task behind the machines, doing what her part-time job serving coffee midweek through weekends could not afford her; Art.

Her hand moved almost on its own, bringing wide deep strokes over light sketches as she captured the humming soft voices and laughing, before her. The main focus as she shifted to another section of her ivory sheet, was two women sitting at a small table; Lovers, Michiru guessed. A small blush flared on her cheeks as she drew the olderwoman's smooth strong face, and short spiked hair of light silvery wheat. Her eyes, which were like cool light green jade, could not be captured with the graphite, and which contrasted dramatically with the silver and teal turquoise rings which shined on her hands. However, Michiru knew exactly what colour to choose from her palette that night at home, and her eyes then moved to draw the details of the tiny ceramic espresso cup that the handsomely attractive woman held.

The pencil moved to capture the lines their mouth made when they smiled, but Michiru was interrupted by someone clearing their throat delicately enough to get her attention. She glanced up briefly enough to register someone was there and put down her sketch pad, getting to her feet as she wiped her hands onto her apron.

"What can I get for you?" She asked as she stood in front of the register, fussy and as old fashioned as the owner of it was. Her breath caught in her throat as she looked up at the customer waiting patently but some what agitated as if they were always on the move and this timeless slow crawl made them jumpy. Their stance and eye contact demanded attention and attention Michiru gave, willingly. It took a pleasant moment to discover it was a woman, only more handsome, more intriguing then her previous subject. That glimmer of doubt was so attractive to Michiru; that moment of trying to decide which gender they were.

The woman in question had layered wisps of golden blonde hair which was parted at the side of her forehead and touched just past her eyebrows, threatening to cover one eye. Dangerously attractive. Her eyes, which only gave Michiru enough time in the day to order her drink, were a cool grey-green also, like cut jade, but also had a catlike feel about them. They sparkled a minute mysteriously, then looked away as she reached into her pocket for money. Michiru realised she had been given an order. She stammered awkwardly with the cup. "Two," the woman repeated in her deep sweet tenor voice as she looked to her with one eyebrow raised. "Two vanilla lattes, non-fat milk..." She patiently waited for her to ring up the drinks, as Michiru felt a slight flush on her face. 'Get a grip', she chided wondering why she was reacting this way. The woman didn't wait for Michiru to notice the total and say the amount, but rather handed her the money.

Michiru, luckily by now, could make change automatically enough that this wasn't too fouled up and the transaction, however choppy--ended for now. She sighed a bit in relief as the woman strode to the end of the bar, hands in her pressed grey suit pockets as she waited. Michiru peeked at her from behind the machines as she made the drinks. She cursed her fumbling hands and her blushing cheeks and decided to at least sound professional as she relayed their order.

"Okay, here's two vanilla lattes.." she gave her most winning smile.

The older woman, blinked and asked, "Non-fat?." Michiru blanched and took them back a new type of red on her face. "Anou..Iie, I'll remake them, Goman Nasai.. " She remade them as quickly as possible, wondering why suddenly she was so nervous. She hadn't screwed up since the past few weeks that she had begun working there.

"There you go, sorry again about that." The woman nodded, took her drinks and turned friendly greeting the other woman Michiru had been drawing, before walking off through the door. The scent of her cologne lingered teasing however; and Michiru swooned on the spot. She took a moment to lean again back against the counter her eyes closed as she regained her composure. The glass door shut with a disappointing 'whoosh' and with another melody of bells Michiru swore that the mysterious woman took a small part of herself along.

Unfortunately she could only recover for a moment before two new customers watched her with expectancy.

As a result of the striking woman, Michiru was fumbly and twitter-patted until closing time.

Watching the stars twinkling in the sky as she walked home, Michiru sucked in deep lung fulls of spring air. Couples passed her, walking slowly hand in hand. She paused to sit by the fountain which was turned off at night. She looked up to the cool faces of the Mer-women and wondered if they felt the same disappointment she did. They stared out lifelessly, frozen smiles on their faces. Prisoners to their own bodies, wanting what they couldn't have. She let her fingertips brush against a few stray cherry blossoms on top of the stilled water. There didn't seem to be any butches her age here, or if there were, they were taken. She brought up her knees resting her cheek against them. The air echoed quietly, some strums of guitars or random lines of song in the distance. Her eyes began to feel heavy until she heard the first few chords of a piano, she looked up at her apartment building knowingly. "She's feeling it too.." Michiru said softly rubbing the chill off her arms. 'Maybe one-day shell be willing to mention it..'

Once the moon was high in the sky, Michiru stood stretching before bending to pick up a heart shaped blossom. She had tried all night to put her feelings into words, so many clashing together. All she could focus on was that beautiful stranger and how familiar she had seemed. How she loved them without wanting to, how she suddenly wanted the day to come, another glimpse and yet knew it would never be. The mysterious woman had a thin gold ring on her finger.

'Thank you, non the less..' She whispered, letting the blossom go. Climbing the steps, she fumbled with the old fashioned lock, before finally entering. Sighing with relief, Michiru heard the music stop above her. Maybe she could sleep soundlessly tonight. She changed before easing against her sheets, letting the silvery shadows of the cool spring night bathe her. A stray alley cat who was well loved and fed, came stretching in through her open balcony doors. Michiru smiled and patted her stomach in a welcoming gesture. However the indifferent tabby, who acted as much as he looked the part (of a royal fluff ball), just ignored her. Huge in roundness, squat in height, and golden yellow in colour, the cat delicately cleaned his paws and face; despite how awkwardly fluffy and he was. Michiru sighed at the overkill of cuteness before her.

"Kawaii.. What did I hear Lady Anigusta call you.. Monsieur?.. Come'rre Kitty" Michiru cooed wanting something to focus her unresolved love on. The cat simply looked at her with glowing green eyes, like jade. She watched him knead her floor rug, before patting out of her room and sniffing her flowers outside. Michiru waited a moment feeling almost numb before finally switching on the light. She took out her sketch book again and closed her eyes. She still felt as though she had been spinning around and around in circles and suddenly stopped trying to be balanced. Her pulse spiked as she thought of that day and how much she wanted to be close to that beautiful stranger. She opened her sketch pad, and began to draw what her minds eye remembered. Finally two hours later, as she touched the last dab of paint to the jade eyes looking back at her, she turned her light out and watched the ceiling for answers. Her fast breathing slowed and overcame finally to sleep.

A week had passed before Haruka Tenou got into her little yellow sports car again in font of Café Luna, realising at last that the young Barista's eyes had followed her as she exited. She chuckled to herself, as the engine roared into life. She sat the second set of twice done lattes in the carrier and pulled out of the small little town, feeling a bit remorseful.

She loved this little town, but she loved the city equally as much. She loved the wind in her hair and driving through this town for joy rides. It had been her favourite thing, speeding along the long stretch of route forty-five, the ocean twinkling over the horizon in the distance, the sharp breeze hitting her senses. However, her current fiancé, hated sand and having the wind blow her hair as it always got tangled. She didn't really see how, as Morgan had cut it just last month, and it was now just touching her shoulders. Haruka swore she did it just to annoy her.

Besides, the smog of the city didn't leave much to be desired unless it had just rained, so she rarely had the convertible cover down these days.

Her fiancé Morgan, was very particular, and preferred the 'why bother' variety of coffee. I.E: Decaf, sugar free, nonfat, and didn't like anything in her lattes. But Haruka managed to encouraged her to try different things, as she thought plain they were so bitter on their own. She did give in to Morgan's demand of nonfat, even if she could have let herself gain a few pounds. Haruka didn't complain, she was easy-going for the both of them and this femme was beautiful, despite her hair.

At a red light Haruka absentmindedly played with the glinting gold band on her finger, never used to a ring before. She told her fiancé she preferred silver or platinum, but gold it was. Being stuck in traffic, she glanced at the clock and winced knowing she would be late; another pet peeve.

Her mind drifted back to the young woman in the café, and how it was seemingly obvious that she had a crush on Haruka. Or simply she liked what she saw. Haruka's knuckles clenched the steering wheel a bit as she tried to recall the last time Morgan thought about her or looked at her like that. Or blushed, or said she were sorry and really meant it like that young (pretty!) woman had.

Being a week or two since the last time Haruka were there, her schedule being as busy as ever, the blonde had noticed the hungry glance in the teal haired woman eyes as Haruka chatted friendly to everyone; As if she wanted so badly to be recognised as well. This somehow made Haruka's grin a bit wider, as it had been so long since Morgan had wanted her with such dark hungry eyes.

A horn behind her blew, as she realised she had zoned off again. "Yeah Buddy, I'm going!" She shouted out the window before she took off again.

Finally five minutes later, she pulled into the parking garage of Morgan's apartment building. She snickered a bit taking up the drinks and thinking it over for once in a long time. It was her apartment and she had liked the decor, but since Morgan moved in, things began to change.

Being gone on tours didn't leave much time to be at home anyway, so Haruka didn't say anything out of all fairness and let it be. She took the stairs two at a time and decided when she got in she would try to compose something. It had been too long, since her bachelor years, when she spent all night in her boxers and wrote a piece till dawn, which usually ended with her crashing on the couch and grabbing a breakfast burrito down the corner somewhere around one. But too, that was right before her career began to become more professional. As it was, she was becoming more recognized and more agents called her every week. Maybe that was why she liked Artist Alley. She fit in because she was like a grownup peter pan, who became a kid again when there. Her music always had a place at Artists Alley, something Morgan didn't know about. Sometimes she would play at one of the smaller cafes with a stage, and usually would end up with appreciative applause, and a date that shed have to decline for the evening..

Morgan didn't like the piano much, if at all. Whenever Haruka would go, sit down and begin to pick out a tempo, a pitch or even a chord, Morgan would sneak her arms around her and say, 'Aw Haruka, I've missed you all day, how about we take a long bath together.. Make our own music?' Haruka would close her eyes and smile a bit and agree and that would be that.

But that night, it had gone too far.

"What do you mean, you sold the piano..." Haruka's voice was soft, deadly quiet, and disbelieving. Morgan just took her latte, sipped it, made a face muttering. "Haruka, its ice cold. Blech, too sweet.." she tossed it in the trash and distantly Haruka thought about nearly four dollars being thrown away. "Morgan, explain." She tried to keep her voice steady, and strode right passed her lover who sighed and followed her long strides to the back room where the Piano was. The beautiful piano had been in the front room, in the living room beside the huge window which over looked the city, till Morgan moved it saying that it took up too much room.

"Relax Honey, they're coming to sign the papers tomorrow-"

"No, they're not." She answered cooly, sitting on the bench and sliding her fingertips against the pearly keys, her hands shaking with her suppressed temper.

"They're not?" Her fiancé shot back blinking, her body language showing determination and exasperation.

"No, they're not." Haruka repeated in that cool monotone. "This is my Piano."

She stood, her short hair covering her profile dramatically, her knuckles gripped the key cover trying hard not to shout. All the years they were together, she thought Morgan knew how important music was for her; How personal it was.

"Haruka really, this apartment is too small, we need a house in the upper city now. That extra income could go toward that classy bedroom set we saw. Remember, darling?"

"But I like my furniture." Haruka countered, the small outrage starting to build.

"I understand you have a say in our life, and when we have a place someday, (Haruka was always tempted to say 'if' when she used this sentence) I'll let you design it to your hearts content." Morgan crossed her arms as Haruka continued. "But this is my apartment, I cant change it now. And you know how much this piano means to me-"

"Honestly Haruka, that clutter some eyesore has been collecting dust for months. I'm sick of looking at it. I'm every bit part of your life, as much as that old piano was. And as long as I live here, I have a say." Morgan narrowed her eyes, her hands on her hips. "The piano needs to go. Were adults now, adults make sacrifices.." She said finally, more softly, laying her hand on Haruka's shoulder who then stiffened more under her touch and shook a bit from her temper. "You're not a teenager anymore, Haruka. A musicians life doesn't bring food to the table."

A cold trickle of anger and awareness slid slowly from Harukas neck down to her toes, as she heard her mothers voice again in her mind, screaming at her father as he stood in the same way over the piano.

'Musicians cannot support a family, Tesaga!"

'

Haruka looked at her reflection, at the pain only she could recognize.

She heard herself say they next words as though she were in a dream. "You're right Morgan, I think I could make a sacrifice, right now, actually." She chided, standing straighter and striding again out of the room and reaching the apartment door.

"What do you mean?" Morgan asked wide eyed and following at her heel.

"Yeah." she said more certainly shaking her head as if trying to clear it. "Get out." She opened the door wide, her expression like ice. "You don't know me anymore Morgan.. I don't think you ever really did, and I'm sick of being pushed around in my own life."

Morgan froze and reached out touching Harukas stony face. "Haruka, baby, you don't mean that. You're just tired. Tomorrow you'll feel better and when that man comes with the papers, well go shopping and-"

"You still don't get it, do you? You're a real piece of work, you know that?" Haruka yelled. "Morgan, I love you, but its not going to work.." Her voice cracked a little and she pried the ring off her finger and pushed it into Morgans reluctant hands.

"FINE!" Morgan yelled, grabbing her coat and purse, she glided out the door while slipping on her shoes as she went. "You're a real Bastard, Haruka! Immature, breaking us up over some old piano your dead father left-"

Haruka slammed and locked the door behind her, swore, then opened it back up and yelling to her.

"I want the spare key back!"

"Baka Yaro!" Morgan spat, tears running down her flustered face.

Haruka growled closing the door three times before she realised her tie had been stuck in her fury.

"Kuso.." She muttered straightening and re-locking the door. Suddenly she felt very numb inside. Turning on some music, with the volume up as high as the co-tenants would let her, Dir En Grey's, 'Spilled Milk' played back to her, echoing all the rage sadness shed feel if she let herself.

She paced the apartment brooding, the bass making their dishes rattle just enough to satisfy her bleeding insides. Usually by now the phone would ring, and it would be Morgan on her cell just at the bottom of the stairs apologising, she thought. Twenty minutes passed.

'Any minute now, she'll admit she was wrong..'

Haruka stared at the phone expectantly. They always had bitter fights lately, this was just another night in the week, or was it?

Ten more minutes passed. Finally she went out on the balcony for some air, leaving the door open incase she would call. She already had it made up in her mind to let it ring five or six times before answering and sounding all apathetic. But even if her voice wouldn't betray her, her eyes did and she scrubbed away cooling tears.

However, when an hour passed and still the phone did not ring, Haruka chewed on her lip and worried a bit. She nearly jumped over the side of the railing to knock whoever had their arm around Morgans waist, when she saw the new couple emerge moments later.

"You have to be kidding me," she muttered numbly. Morgan turned looking up and waved sweetly, laughing before getting into the car with her new date. Haruka just stepped back until her butt bumped into the glass door. "..Ama.."

"She met someone that fast.." Haruka said in outrage mixed with disbelieve. Then came the real pain. 'She never really loved me, apparently..' Her eyes softened and burned with tears of remorse and loneliness. She stepped in her now much emptier apartment, switched off the music which volume threatened to give her a migraine and tried to tell herself it was for the better.

Sliding again onto the piano bench she fiddled with the different keys for two hours without really hearing their notes while drinking two or three glasses wine, and going to bed.

The next morning at eight am, when the sunlight had begun to sting Haruka's sleepless eyes, there was a intrusive knock at her door.

Knock

Knock..Knock..

KnockKnockKnock..

KNOCK..

Grumbling, she got up and for a fleeting instant thought it might be Morgan. However when looking through the peephole, she found she was wrong. Scowling she grabbed the candlestick off the mantle before returning and opening the door, hair wild, smelling of wine and in just boxers and her under shirt.

"You're not getting it." She said in a matter of fact tone. The little man before her blinked.

"But the woman, whom I talked to yesterday, said it was for sale. I have the papers right-"

Haruka took the papers and ripped them in half, letting the pieces fall to the floor. "Thanks but no thanks." She waggled the marble candle stick threateningly, "Now beat it." The man nodded and scurried off down the hall, almost slipping down the first few in his rush. Haruka sighed closing and bolting the door again feeling very antisocial and tired. She replaced the candle stick heavily. She decided to go back to bed only after taking a swig of orange juice and drawing the blinds shut.

'Hey,' She told herself, 'It could be worse..she could have had a little yippie nappy dog biting my ankles all this time.' Haruka allowed herself one last faint smile, before slipping into a depression which was seemingly out of character for everyone who knew her, except herself.

Haruka spend nearly two weeks de-Morganing her apartment. As much of a bitch she was, the stubborn blond had been with her for the better of three years and fighting was normal for them. So she simply resigned the situation, figuring they just pushed each other too far over the edge this time. She had a box and went about her apartment filling it to the brim with photos, clothes, frilly things, makeup, accessories, her valentine mugs with matching saucers and heart impressions around the rim; Anything she could find.

Finally, it got down to the heavy things. First most, the piano rightfully found its place in the livingroom again, more in front of the window then ever. She then pushed the love seat set Morgan insisted on Haruka buying for their second anniversary, out into the hallway. She rolled up the pink shag rug in the bathroom revealing the glossy black and white diamond linoleum to match her equally monotonous and sophisticated black and white bathroom, which was 'one of the first things to go' Morgan had said. Haruka ripped off the soft scented linens on their- her bed, which perfume made her eyes sting with tears as it agitated her wound. She crumped the sheets up a moment, before her eyes grew soft. She eased onto the edge of her bed, and slowly folded up the sheets as neat as any butch could, and then she cried. Almost like swallowing poison, she called Morgans phone, got the machine, told it that her things were ready and hung up. She then took a shower; a long, hot, distracting-ly scolding, shower. Her thoughts and actions were all jumbled and came to her like static. New and clean, she plopped another shampoo bottle of Morgans into her box by the door, before remaking her bed. The sheets were thinly striped in black and white, which resembled and felt like a suit shirt. She topped them, with flourishing flicks of her wrists(or lack thereof) and elegant lack of femme grace, with a down feathered black comforter. It was crooked and bumpy in places but it was hers again.

"There.." Haruka muttered and unceremoniously tugged on a T-shirt and jeans. Grabbing a cap and her jacket, she slid her car keys off the table by the door and kicked the box out into the hall as well.

"Time for a drive,. Maybe it'll clear my head." She hoped, as she closed and locked the door behind her.


	3. Taste

1Authors notes:

Just an excited THANKS to all my readers! This has been great fun to write and I appreciate it.

By the way, I changed the name of the mysterious jade eyed ginger kitty in the story, because I felt his new name suited the atmosphere of Artist Alley, and the thought makes me giggle. Although the real kitty he was modelled after, was named Buttered Stuff. I miss him. When I volunteered at the SPCA, the kitty would always purr quietly for his size, and lean so much into my hand he would sometimes roll onto his side. He was so kawaii.. anyway I'm rambling XD Um Im not sure this is where I want the chapter to end at the bottom of this but.. I don't want to have too much stuff happening at once and I work tomorrow so I'm anxious to post something. XD Anyway the chapter after this one I hope wont be too short. Ill probably write down all the stuff I want to make sure happens, since this snowballed so much I'm forgetting my original main objective!

I was listening to Michelle branch's C.D "Hotel Paper" and the song "Where are you now?" Is sooo fitting for this story o0 and I've never even heard it before now! So kewl, make sure to look it up! (they wont let me post the link for some reason..)

**Taste**

The small encounters with the 'latte woman' (which was the nickname she gave the mysterious woman) were like gifts to Michiru. They were like a sunny day after weeks of a rainy spell. It made the humdrum of the workday seem much lighter and worthwhile, and Michiru always felt like she were walking on clouds. This feeling was so surprising, to come on so suddenly. Perhaps it was her appreciation for art and beauty, she tried to reason.

The latte woman didn't really have a real pattern of regularity, but enough of one to keep Michiru wondering everyday if she would ever see her again. It had been weeks with no sign of those intriguing, potentially flirtatious, jade eyes. She thought perhaps in frustration, that the latte woman had not come back again because of the reason that in some way or another Michiru always managed to screw up her order. That her nervousness in her presence wasn't because she was attracted, but general clumsiness that was unusual for Michiru. When she thought of these new feelings it could closely be described as standing barefoot in a warm spring thunderstorm, the wind tossing your hair and making your breath catch from the excited sweetly scented gusts. Sometimes shed stumble forward by the wind and dance, light as feathers, butterflies flickering in her stomach. And at night, this feeling was like a burning fire deep in her body, keeping her awake and longing, breathless.

Work was like usual, a bit more crowded with strange people as the City uptown was hosting a spring festival, and its approaching date was beginning to have negative effects for Artists Alley.

Michiru had a hard enough time trying to keep up with the regulars and appease the new comers, who were some the rude city people she was thankful for not having at Café Luna before. She wasn't sure how this town would(could!) handle all the new people, it such a small place at once. There were rumours of protests against the festival by some of the local art majors, and environmentalists. Michiru herself ripped off a slip of paper containing the number of the organiser of one of the latest, although she wasn't sure yet if she would really participate or not. Some of the regulars would sit in the café as usual and simply watch the new'ns. At first it was in amusement, and then gradually it became a bit worried or angry, as they would have trespassers, tourists disrupting the quiet atmosphere and sleepy days. Michiru wondered just how publicised the festival was this year and if the new cars and buses would ever stop. She told herself it would blow over and return to normal soon, she hoped anyway, she didn't care for city people and liked the quiet town as it was.

More people got in line as Michiru pushed herself off the counter, preparing to take another order. Today was one of those days that she longed for another job. One of the girls called out again for the second time that week and she hoped someone would come in and relieve her soon. It was starting to get ugly out in the parking lot as people crowded around. The café was one of the only coffee shops in town, after all. Unless one wanted to travel down route forty-three just to get coffee.

Breathless and tired she asked the next in line, "Hi, what can I get for you today?" Unoriginal, but successful all the same. The man in line looked almost dodgy in appearance, clad in a plain T-shirt, faded oil speckled jeans, and a jacket with its collar pulled up to keep from the threat of a cold spring rain. A baseball- no a cap sporting a FI team- covered their hair and shadowed their eyes. Bristly, they glanced up, wallet in hand. "Vanilla Latte."

Michiru blinked, it only took an instant of self doubt after glancing out of the corner of her eye, that she recognised the person as her 'Latte woman.' Her appearance was such a shock from the tie and suit just weeks before. Her hands habitually wrote their order on the cup, as her mind flew with questions and her cheeks burned. She waited making sure she heard her right but asked anyway, "Just one, today?" Michiru tried to swallow old hopes which rose her pulse; The ring was gone. The woman nodded briskly and once again threw down her money but this time she walked off past the counter and stood against the wall, arms crossed. She seemed oblivious to everyone around her, not to mention the Barista, whose eyes followed her as much as possible without staring.

Michiru temporally ignored and accepted the fact that she didn't want her change or receipt, but the woman's body language was completely different then before. She tried to ignore the curious worry building within her, and begun the order. However, in her distraction, she let the milk bubble over in the pitcher. Muttering, she tapped at the auto button again as it clicked off and began mopping up the milk with the rag. She still watched the older woman out of the corner of her eyes; Her conclusion was depression. But why?

Finally she capped off the drink, and was about to put the lid on when she heard that same deep tenor voice in her direction suddenly from the other side of the counter. "Please, no foam." Michiru felt as though the room was 180 degrees and scooped off the foam, damming herself all the while.

"Of course, here you are." she handed it out and once again tried her best smile. But it wasn't as winning this time, knowing not only that she had screwed up but feeling specially bad since the latte woman was going through what Michiru had been feeling for the past two weeks as well.

Distantly Michiru noted the song playing in the café, and the words made her eyes sting.

'_Where are you now?  
I'm trying to get by with never knowing at all  
What is the chance of finding you out there?  
Do I have to wait forever?'_

Michiru almost cried out after her in frustration.

Haruka took her drink without looking at the Barista or anyone, walking off briskly through the semi-crowded café without another word and a slight scowl on her face. Even if she had been feeling social, the café was becoming uncomfortably crowded by rubber-necker's and tourists.

"Great, they'll rape this town bare too." She muttered as a group of business people charged in past her, some giving her odd looks. But if it was about her clothes or her comment she didn't know or care. This place was her refuge from the city, and now it too would be taken from her. The usual tinkling sound as one exited was over run by the sound of the wind and light rain.

The memories of Artist Alley were almost too much for Haruka, as she had spent some of these with Morgan when they first dated. Morgan always acted strangely when she was there, curious about the town but cool almost bitterly detached. As if haunted by something from her past still in this town. She had once expressed more or less to Haruka that before her parents got married in the late fifties, her mother had an affair with a musician who had lived in Artist's Alley, before returning to the city to marry; A pianist.

Perhaps this bitterness left from the affair and betrayal on her father, their eventual separation, and this place, left Morgan in the disposition she was in. Perhaps it also explained her coolness toward Haruka's music and her own sexual confusion. After all Morgan had at first met her under the assumption that Haruka was male, although so did everyone. By the second date Haruka came out and told her, and Morgan just had this odd expression on her face, and then smiled and said it didn't matter. But she was always so bitter at her mother for not loving her father enough to be with him first.

But then what did Haruka know? It had happened way back in the late nineteen fifties, who really knew their sexuality back then anyway? Or more like, who _dared _to know.

Sure, Haruka knew she was better off, but it still didn't take off the edging sting of loneliness. While she was out on this drive to clear her head, Haruka realised she couldn't bare her spacious apartment lately. Along the long stretch of road, away from the city, she decided when she arrived in Artist Alley to stay in the area for a week or so. Checking her map she realised she could use a pit stop, as the seaside hotel she had booked was only about thirty miles away. A vacation, she hoped, would do her good. She couldn't race in this condition, being so distracted and in a profession like that, distraction meant fatal. She couldn't afford a mistake.

Her car had slowed and parked out side of Café Luna. There were more cars and people then she had ever seen at the café. It was almost unnerving enough to make her think twice about her reservation. Thunder boomed in the distance, threatening. Lightening wasn't long after, and streaked the sky. Haruka toyed with the idea of going in or not as she idled the engine, watching the café like an observer. Finally she decided to go in. The rain was just starting to patter the earthen streets. Tourists ran for cover while locals snickered watching from their dry positions, knowing by instinct when the rain came and standing in all the places years of living there taught was dry.

Haruka pushed the door open, which seemed so much heavier then last time. Confronted by smells of spices, baked scones, and coffee it helped lighten her spirit enough not to scowl at the employee behind the counter. She was aware enough to be surprised by the line of people this time of day, and in such poor weather. Although coffee people were weird like that. They trouped out of their warm apartments and homes for coffee even in snow storms. At least thats how it was in the city.

It didn't take long for Haruka to spot the teal beauty-not that she was looking or anything- before she had seen her. The young girl was staring out the window at the rain like it was bad news, a bad omen. Almost like the rain had caused her pain. As if she were missing something, wanting something denied from her, and the rain wouldn't tell her where it was.

Yet still by her strong features, she carried herself with some hope.

Haruka knew the feelings exactly, what that rain meant, what (she squinted at the name tag) Kaiou-san was feeling. Oh hell, what did Haruka know? She swore at herself for acting like a therapist again, when she herself couldn't even explain her own emotions or quirks.

Enough was enough, like a switch, Haruka turned on her persona enough to get the lovely head to turn her way, at last. And somehow without knowing it, Kaiou-san had recognised the pain in Haruka, who in turn didn't let her get close enough to find out anymore. When she had asked if Haruka wanted two drinks, it took a moment of understanding that it was only because of Harukas usual order, and not some cruel joke on her behalf, for her being single now. Her own considering ability of dishing out damnation to a girl who did nothing to her except mess up a few lattes, scared her. So she paid and stalked off to avoid saying something she would regret later.

It wasn't fair to blame Kaiou-san, she was just doing her job, she didn't know. It didn't even unsettle Haruka, that she was so intent to watch her, really. Something about her stuck with Haruka too, but she couldn't allow herself to feel anything right now, still nursing her wounds. Yeah, maybe she was being too sensitive about it, but Haruka had always been so unwilling to trust to begin with. And all of this she was going through just made the blow that much worse.

This time though, Haruka was ready to counteract her luck, and watched the girl make her drink, to catch any errors. In some weird way she almost thought Kaiou-san's nervousness was cute. Obviously she flustered the girl. She enjoyed feeling at least somewhat alive in that respect.

Haruka felt the dark teal eyes bore into her all the way out to her car which was being pelted by

-she supposed- necessary, cold spring rain. Perhaps nature's cruelty and human cruelty was just a way for life to make way for the changing seasons, or emotions. To kill the old and make way for new. Spring was just making headway for the return for summer.

'Now, I guess I'm a poet.' Haruka allowed herself a chuckle, before sobering again and sipping her latte. "Non-fat." She muttered, and laughed for a long time in the comfort of her car, tears rolling down her cheeks. It's possible for someone to laugh and cry at once. Cry in remorse, bitterness or sadness, then laugh at their self for it. Finally she switched on the car before pouring her latte out the window. She watched through the cracked window as it collected and slid away from her, pushed and thinned from the sheets of rain. Rain drops collected and ran down her temple and cheek. Her eyes unfocused as a self realisation, suppressed from her relationship, bubbled up again. Human nature was a lot like that in relationships, hiding whatever pieces don't fit from each other, in return for love.

Haruka remembered it was Morgan who liked coffee, as she was a tea drinker by heart.

Pulling out, she now held this tiny scrap of self against her like a shield against the pelting rain, and felt a bit more lightened by it. Shed use this weekend as therapy, she told herself, making her way through the back streets of Artists Alley. One of the things she liked about driving in this town was how empty the streets were, she felt like she could go on for miles and miles.

Her eyes softened as she listened to some of the lyrics from the current song playing on the radio and let her mind wander back to the Café.

'_Maybe I'd do better on my own  
No one ever seems to understand me  
It's easier for me to be alone  
There's still a piece of me that feels so empty  
I've been all over the world  
I've seen a million different places  
Back through the crowds and all the faces  
I'm still out there looking for you'_

Something had to have been wrong. The first few times when coming into the café, her 'Latte Woman' was charming, social, and without a care in the world it seemed. Today, back from seemingly dropping off the face of the planet, she was dressed down, uninterested; Dead almost. Not to mention that she only bought one drink. Michiru put the pieces together and realised that she must've broken up with her lover, and was still in pain. The ring was gone, as well as the cologne, and Michiru was left with an even bigger un-fulfilment then before when the woman was taken. Michiru wasn't selfish enough to feel sorry for her, even if that meant she was single and potentially available.

The absence before was almost unbearable, but now it plus the growing curiosity, the need to know for sure, caused Michiru over the next few days to only submerge deeper in her Art. Papers scattered the floor, paints were left out, and books left open unread.

On one particularly humid spring night, the kind where the moisture hangs in the air making everything damp and chilled by just being out in it, the yellowy ginger tomcat crouched on her balcony, with haunting green eyes and a miserable expression. Once again she beckoned to him and he watched her for a while before hoping down, and taking refuge under her lounge chair for most of the night. His back had been toward her almost stubbornly. However this gave her hope. She had been leaving food out for him every night since the first time he came, hoping to befriend him. Somehow those deep green eyes reminded her of the latte woman's, and she could use the company.

The next night the big tomcat(big in fluff terms) crouched above the dish of tuna flavoured crunches -unknowns to Michiru in the middle of the night- and ate till the tiny kitty paws drawn in a circle around the bottom could be seen. Licking his whiskers, the cat walked in as if all those nights of observation suddenly made him own the place. He sat on the floor below her bed, looking up at the coverlet curiously before helping himself up. He watched her sleeping form for a moment, before testing a squat softly edged forepaw against her slowly rising chest. Then he curled both under his weight as he laid down. After a moment, his watching eyes slipped closed contentedly.

Chords of Chopin mixed with the light dusting of moisture, not quite rain but not just mist either, through out the night. Fog curled its way through the alley as well, enough so that it obscured sight. Even the base of the fountain looked as though the mermaids were indeed jumping up on their own out of the water. The music, mixed with the light ripple of the leaves from the rain and the kitty's purring as he kneaded, was like a delicate lullaby.

When this musical lullaby that Michiru had grown so accustomed to stopped, she stirred a bit and opened her eyes. The soft purring thing against her side startled her, enough so that the ginger tomcat stood abruptly. He jumped to the floor, hissing a bit deranged from sleep himself. His fur was puffed indignantly, making him look ever more fluffy and round. She had startled him as well.

"Monsieur?" She muttered groggily, reaching out and letting the cat sniff her hand. Even though he jumped down he was still looking up at her about a foot away. Her head was pounding, even though she had been sleeping peacefully. Maybe it had to do with the last thought she had before she fell asleep, about something in her past. Something that, if it would find her, if it would come here.. What then? Her eyes pricked with unshed tears. She felt the tomcats eyes boring into her, as if concerned and she let herself smile a bit.

"It's Raining again..is that why you came to me?" After a moment hesitation, he jumped up and carefully resettled. She rewarded his loyalty with soothing pets, till he leaned over into her hand so much that finally he stood and fully climbed onto her chest, rather then falling over. He was a heavy boy, but his soft square jaw, with its prickly tickling whiskers and flat pink nose, made her smile despite her tears as he nudged her cheeks; So she let him stay.

"Who is she, Monsieur? Why do I care so much? Why does it hurt so much?" She asked aloud to the cat, who only purred and kneaded lightly in response, half asleep with its cheek against her collarbone. "Do you think she's okay?.." She asked, to no one in particular.

The music returned with that same foreboding intensity; No one in particular answered back.


	4. After Taste

**Authors notes:**  
Once again thank you everyone who has reviewed!It is a good thing that this next chapter in our story will be semi tense. I'm looking for a new job and it always makes me feel kinda all..like the bad kinda butterflies inside. (found one, lawn and garden! Wee?)  
Even though if I hadn't been working at Starhell, I probably would have never written this. (although moving out to the west to be with my girlfriend helped a lot) The stress is getting to be too much, since there doesn't seem to be enough people to cover the shifts. ; and I've been alone for wayyyy too much under rushes and..:scarred for life:  
Anyway! I am listening to the Kingdom Hearts I soundtrack to write, the very first song is nice for this beginning here I think. So follow along if you happen to have it lol.  
Ps. Thank you to Saun for reviewing. Check her out here on for more Excellent Haruka and Michiru stories!  
P.s.s woo I thought I deleted something in this chapter that I needed oo; :flail: me'sa spaz.  
This next little tid bit, I didn't know where to stick it this is a mini chapter (kinda mini o.o) to the one before (Taste). More to come, stick with me! I'll update real soon, maybe even tonight with the next chapter and they'll meet. I promise!  
Its so bad cause I got out of writing, I should have finished it before I got so distracted again. :sigh:  
Okay..Im going to try again, doesn't help I'm having yearnings to write a sequel to 'love lore' which is completely opposite, ie: fantasy, Michi's a mermaid, Ruka has wings, etc XD;;  
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**After Taste**

What felt like hours had passed. Michiru watched the shadows dance across the long since faded Victorian wall paper, which was as brittle in places as a dried rose. The wind was wet and blowing fiercely outside. She imagined that by morning the rain would have pelted off all the petals on the roses climbing the lattice outside her balcony. In her minds eye she imagined the layer of petals collecting on the dewy grass, laden with raindrops and silky to the touch from the saturation. Even though this was her first warm season here, she knew that this morning's late spring rain would make the day smell fresh and clean. The alley cats would be busily cleaning the mud from their fur and begging for fresh scraps and likely a rainbow might bless the grey marbled skies. However peaceful it promised to be though, the wind caused her body to shift restlessly, as it blew in excited whirls of unsettlement and change. Her stomach flitted with butterflies, only they were of a nervous anticipation. She tossed and turned for what seemed like ages. Finally Monsieur got annoyed with this; Getting up, he settled on a pile of soft clothes laying on a chair by the bed. He kneaded lightly as he watched his new mistress curiously. Every once and awhile his ears would flick at the nearest little sound; A mouse scurrying in the walls, a creaking tree branch, a distant rumble of thunder, even the persistent raindrops that snuck through the old crumbling fireplace chimney. They hit the ashy skeletal remains of aspen or pine that the current owners must've burned, years ago.

As the fierce rain finally began to tamper off, it was nearly four am. What irritated her most about this night, was that whatever it was that beckoned to her consistently, was so near. That presence, or feeling of someone or something so close from her dreams she could almost smell it on the wind. It was carried in the scent of the saltwater, perhaps some thirty or forty miles away. It almost called for her in its demanding presence, yet she couldn't find it. It was somewhere she couldn't just walk to. Somewhere or something she knew if she had tried to find, might be gone before she could arrive.

She had no idea how, but whatever it was wouldn't let up.

Michiru whimpered in frustration, her eyes were so eager for sleep, but her mind and soul were restless. She needed this something; As though it were a missing part of herself all this time and she just let herself realise it. And the rain, however helpful at bringing its scent and presence, kept it from her just as much. The forbidding fog and mist kept her from seeing the paths and direction. Besides, a place she didn't know to begin with and going to a place she's never been before, was fruitless.

This anxious call was so overwhelming, sad, powerful, strong and yet fragile at the same time. It made her remember, and it made her dream; Old dreams that she had been having since she were little, of palaces and royalty, deception and scandal, love and friendship. Sometimes either laughter or tears echoed back to her in these black and white visions. Although the person speaking was fuzzy in outline and their mouth moved slowly, the words would still reach her mind in fluid replay as though she were recalling a true to life memory. They were soundless and sometimes the dream faded in and out, crackling like an old fashioned movie, captured as if in a slow moving flip book. This did not effect the stream of words and sights which always confused and amazed her. Flame licked wars, flashes of power through light, a crumbling kingdom, anguished yells of pain and anger, a glowing sword and always a mirror. Why?

But lately, the dreams were tender, pure and lovely as she watched a lover(possibly her own?) spent from love making, reaching for her.  
All these dreams made her cry out in screams or sometimes moans. Shed weep silently and ached so forcefully that it felt as though there were a tare in her chest, and it throbbed. Tears slid down her cheeks as she remembered then the beaches at home as well. How soft and white the sand looked in the morning, how warm it was to walk against it midday, to feel it shift against her toes and heels. She missed the ocean. Even if her parents didn't know her, she had felt secure, they did support most of her interests, she reasoned. Wincing, Michiru remembered how confused and sad her parents looked when she told them she was going away. They tried to show her how hard it would be, but she thought with love, she could do anything.  
Maybe she should go back? She didn't think she could do this any longer, being who she was alone.

Who was she kidding?

However to this thought, the wind grew louder, persistent and in turn, Michiru silently cried harder from guilt and persecution.  
Finally with a sigh Michiru threw the covers back and got up walking over first to the window, and then out onto her balcony. The wind picked up her hair and tossed it behind her, thin strands slid across her lips and over her eyes as she stood shivering in its wake. The weeping skies had at last dried up, but the chill remained.  
"What do you want.." She whispered eyes closed. The sound was so sad, and yet empowering, inspiring. Michiru opened her eyes searching the sky. She longed for the beaches, where she could always think and gather herself. Everything had made sense in the waters then.  
The wind still wasn't satisfied. Michiru suddenly turned and went inside, pulling her violin case from under her bed and wiped the dust free. Opening it, she lifted out her reddish golden violin and gingerly picked up her bow, she simply held it the wind blowing her sketches across the floor, drifting through the air like petals.

"I can't.. its like the notes are frozen inside.." She tried to explain.

But the wind wouldn't hear of it, and protested till she stepped outside again, holding her violin like it were a stillborn child in her arms. The wind still nagged her, but gently.  
"But I'm so scared.. I'm not ready.." She whispered out loud again.

Like a sigh, the wind blew gently against her cheeks and teased her night dress and skin.

"Who am I supposed to find, why do I dream of them every night .. Why.." Michiru sniffled, then her eyes froze onto something drifting down from above. She leaned out and caught an ivory petal. Turning and looking up, towards her left of the building, was Lady Anigusta's balcony.  
The strong yet delicate woman held a small bouquet of lilies in her arms and was pulling off the petals, releasing them into the night. She said a few words as she did so, as if in remembrance.

"Lady.." Michiru began transfixed, "Does the wind keep you restless at night as well.. does it call to you.. make you burn inside, with ambition but no hope?" Eagerly she watched. There was something about what she was doing, what it meant to her, why she did it, that touched Michiru's heart. It was although she also had lost something, and remembered it, giving it her respect somehow. She wished she knew.  
Anigusta dropped the last of her petals before looking down and into the anxious eyes of Michiru. She raised her hand slowly in acknowledgement and bowed before going inside.

After that, it only seemed natural then, when Michiru raised her violin and posed the bow. Tears slipped down her cheeks as she drew out the first thick note, her fingers trilling, giving her emotions a voice box. The bittersweet sounds soared like voice. She played with all the intensity she could feel, all of the anguish, the confusion, the pain, the awareness, the cruel beautiful sense of self that haunted and kept her company each day. She played for her past, she acknowledged all the people who ever meant anything to her. The piece had no boundaries of sheet music, no score, no bar lines. It was freelance, without rules or exceptions. It was raw, like the wounds nicking her heart. She expressed her hidden longing, her concern, her passion, and the joy she felt in her dreams. Michiru concentrated then only on that person in her dreams then, their scent, like the wind. Their gentle eyes, their soft fingers as they brushed her cheek and lips. How the air smelled like salt, and rain. She played so intensely her fingers throbbed, the small miscellaneous cuts she had got at work stung. Her body shook as she pushed it to the limits trying to gain some peace from the intensity of her feelings. Finally, she slowed and carried out the last few shaky notes, letting her body relax, feeling not really joy but relief. The air seemed so still and silent after that long, powerful confession. She held her breath, lowering her violin, head bowed and panted hoarsely. "I wish I knew you…"

There was a soft rustle beside her, and a flash of white, like a falling dove. Jumping a bit she looked over seeing a single white lily at her feet, tied with a blue ribbon. Picking it up, she glanced up and saw Lady Anigusta, nodding to her, a faint smile on her touched face. Her cheeks glistened from tears. Michiru held her eyes understanding. She brushed the flower against her cheek, absentmindedly taking in its scent, she noticed as Lady Anigusta mouthed just like the others in her dream. 'Come, when you are ready. I'll tell.' Turning then she drifted back inside. A few people stood on the street or leaned out of their windows, watching. Some looked lost in their thoughts and others stared out enchanted.

Michiru suddenly, finally, felt tired. She swayed on the spot, as if these feelings has possessed her and for now let her free. As though she had performed some ritual which drained her physically, she was depleted of energy. She had no idea what she had played, if it was actually music or just noises, she was too deep in thought to pay attention to her hands. It was just a sort of zoning out she would do, like when her eyes unfocussed when she sketched. But to have been acknowledged by Lady Anigusta, well it must have been something. She sat her lily in a glass of water, and fell into bed after putting her violin away again. Somehow her song made the wind calm, and even the piano was silent now. It didn't matter though, because within minutes Michiru was asleep, but she did not dream anymore that morning. Monsieur regained his rightful place against her side and dozed with her till sometime before eleven.

That mid afternoon was as grey as any other in that week, as Michiru ate her 'brunch'. She sat with Monsieur who was on her lap, eating bacon out of her one hand as she sipped tea and ate toast with the other. Her little table was pushed so she could look outside. It was getting more crowded then ever, but thankfully the festival would be over in less then a week. She hated it, the other artists and musicians hated it. And she especially hated the mobs of coffee zombies at work lately.

Michiru watched the comings and goings somehow feeling very old, till she stiffened suddenly. A car which looked all too familiar passed through, down the street right in front of her apartment building. A car which looked so out of place here. A jocks dream car.

"No.. It couldn't be.." She muttered into her teacup, her heart pounding. "Why..how.." her mind raced for answers.

"Damned city festival.." The cat sensing her tension decided it was time to get up, so he heavily jumped down and walked over to the ceramic dish, looking at her half expectantly. Michiru feeling the lazy jade gaze, looked over and her eyes softened.

"Well, we'll just try to lay low for awhile, huh?" She said to the cat who meowed hungrily back at her.

'And let's just hope football jock heads doesn't like coffee.' She laughed lightly to this thought, and poured some kitty crunches into Monsieur's adopted bowl, who licked up the first few pieces crunching them happily.

A moment later she heard some shuffling outside her door, and then there was a knock, Michiru looked up warily. She stood pulling her robe around her frame more tightly and lifted on her tiptoes to look out the peephole, confused she saw nothing there. Frowning she heard another knock and was perhaps it was some sort of prank. Cracking open the mail slot she looked into bright raspberry eyes and was greeted with peppermint breath. Sighing in relief she opened the door and a small girl with cherry coloured hair looked up at her clutching holding a panda bear in one arm and a small fragile looking envelope in another.

"Halloo MissMichiru!" She said squeaked happily and held out a sticky peppermint stained envelope. It was yellowed and brittle, smelling like flowers and hand made with intricate gold swirls and her name in fancy cramped cursive fit for any pianist who is used to writing notes in margins of sheet music.

"Chibi Cherry-chan, have you been into the sweets again?"

The nickname was something her mother gave her partly because she missed the blossoms in Japan, and partly because America had made such a impression on her so she just named her after the blossoms but with the American nick name too. Michiru took the note and pretended to put her hand on her hips, Cherry however just giggled.

"Cherry-chan! Time for your bath!" Hana, her mother, called just down the hall.

"I gotsa go now, Misshiru!"

She ran her usual greeting for Michiru together in a hurry, and bowed zooming down the hall and into the arms of her young mother. Michiru just smiled and closed the door. Monsieur circled her legs once and then hopped up on the small table they had been sitting in, his striped ginger tail swishing gently as he watched a bird twittering madly in the bird bath below.

Michiru's hands shook a bit as she carefully pealed open the ancient document, knowing already from the scent of lilies and the script who it was from. These cards were used in the Victorian times as calling cards, and were custom for forming friendships and social etiquette. She never saw one before, and only read about them in books. She marvelled the hand painted details, this one displaying a lovely array of yellow rose blossoms, for friendship and sparrows for spring. She missed such customs when the only personal touch to cards these days was the signature at the bottom. Michiru flipped the card over and read the tiny script, done with fountain pen, of course.

'_Lady Anigusta requests the company of one Michiru Kaiou  
today at twelve for attending an afternoon tea.  
Please leave your response with Monsieur by at least no later  
then fifteen minutes prior the requested time.'_

Michirucocked an eyebrow to the fluffy gentleman at her feet, who sniffed the air a bit recognising the scent of lilies and swished his tail in response. His intense stare turned from the bird to the card as if he had been trained for it. As if scolding her haste in reply, he meowed to her and cleaned his paw disdainfully.

"Alright then, I'll reply!" She smiled touched by the tiny card and wished that some traditions wouldn't have faded away with time.

Walking to her mantle, she got down a small mother of pearl box and from it withdrew a small ornate card with a tiny silk teal ribbon woven throughout the border and adorned with bachelor buttons, a lovely wild flower with blue petals which edges are fringed at the tip. These had been the gift Lady gave her when she first moved in, along with a light blue feathered ink quill, which Monsieur batted at consistently as Michiru penned a reply.

When she had received the cards she thought they were lovely but never knew shed ever have a use for them; Apparently Lady Anigusta had a plan behind her madness

Michiru laid the quill down and Monsieur was alert again, his puffed whiskers out in adorable concentration. Michiru was a bit doubtful, but held out the card to the ginger tom. He sniffed it once and then took it delicately in his mouth. Amused, she opened the balcony doors and the cat padded outside, jumped and climbed the terrace hoping up onto Lady Anigusta's balcony, as if he had done it a million times, and Michiru laughed lightened.

"Ah! Its twenty 'til now, I better get ready." Skidding down the halls, Michiru jumped into the shower, desperate to wash off the stale air that being up most of the night tossing and turning causes. She decided to play along and took out this old gown she bought at one of the second hand stores here, of course all the second hand stores here were vintage and more like antique stores. It was a light blue cotton print day dress from the mid 19th century. It's shoulders puffed on fitted sleeves, and a high collar buttoned just above her throat. A blue silk ribbon ran in a thin strip out lining the bottom ruffle, and tiny navy buttons aligned along the front and one on each wrist. To top it off she pulled back her hair with mother of pearl hair combs and bobby pins.  
Feeling like a young lady going to her first real tea party, Michiru left her apartment, loving this town more then ever.

------

Earlier that morning, a very annoyed blonde in a jacket and baseball cap had stood in front of a sea side hotel looking exasperated.

"Were very sorry sir, the hotel is booked until this weekend." The older man said with a slight accent peering at her clothes through his very large spectacles.

"But I booked that room enough time in advance ..This is ridiculous."

"These things do happen sometimes, Sir. I've never seen this hotel so busy as lately with that festival so close, you understand. Likely your request got thrown out by mistake or disregarded. Would you like a refund, or perhaps you could rebook next-"

"No, just a refund.." Haruka muttered as she noted the signal on her cell phone was dead out here also, but then she realised no one back in the city would be wondering where she were anyway. She shrugged and pocketed her advance payment on the room and walked outside. A bunch of children in swimsuits ran by giggling, carrying in a ton of sand with them. Somehow that made her feel a bit better.

Well she could always still make the best of things. But that would mean she would have to stay at the beach house her parents more or less gave her, being too old to really use and take care of it any longer.

The beach house was what she spent her summers as a child growing up in; In the winters she lived and was schooled in the city. The beach house was just on the outskirts of Artists Alley, about thirty miles away to be exact. Every Sunday after church (In which she dozed a lot and itched at her woollen dresses that she was insisted upon to wear) she remembered having piano lessons in the alley. Then her parents and her would eat dinner on the beach afterward. She wondered how her old piano teacher was, the last she had seen her was when she told her of her engagement to Morgan. After she moved to the city she lost track of everyone. She was guilty reminded of her teacher telling her to practice, remarking how well she played, telling her to be a concert pianist. She remembered to this day exactly what the woman said to her.

"Haruka, with your talent, I can't see you being more suited then on a stage in lights, and a huge audience, bigger then anything this alley could offer." She had remarked how it was because of the wonderful teacher, how she saw her being famous someday. Her teacher laughed shaking her head.

"I'm too old now, and my heart is too broken to play anything with such a light purity of heart as the young can. They don't want to hear my sad songs Haruka, go out and write songs that make people want to sing, or cry, or laugh.. Do you understand?" Haruka's forehead crumpled in adolescent understanding but she nodded slightly. Tentatively as if she contemplated saying something to this, she reached out pressing a few keys.

"But, I really want to drive race cars when I get older." Haruka blushed, she hadn't told anyone that. Of course her father secretly wanted her to go into music, her mother wanted her to have a more dignified carrier, and marry a doctor or something along those lines.

Her teacher shook her head sighing.

"Haruka you can do both but promise me, never to give up on your music. Someday it might be your only friend, able to understand what you're trying so hard to express. It might be your only language to convey the feelings in your heart, for those have no words." Haruka nodded her eyes un focusing on the glossy hardwood of the upright piano.

"I will-"

------------------

"Lady Anigusta..?"

Michiru said knocking once and then opening the door. She smiled and offered a curtsy to the older woman who was delighted by her presence and outfit.

"Come in! .. Ah Michiru my dear, right on time!" She herself was in a red crushed velour dress, with pearl buttons at the wrist and a brooch at her throat.

"How lovely of you to play along with such an old woman like me. Bless you." Monsieur looked her way from Lady's lap and jumped down circling her feet. He sniffed her dress and nudged it approvingly, but the dress was all frills beneath and nothing to support him, so he nearly fell over.

"Here my good gentleman, for being such a obedient messenger." Lady Anigusta laid down a small ceramic dish of tuna, which he was accustomed to getting after giving out messages. He ran over to it as fast as his squat legs could carry, Michiru giggled.

"How rude of me, Please make yourself at home Lady Michiru, I was just about to fetch the kettle."

"Oh no, let me." Michiru got the small tea kettle and served them both, after all by now Anigusta was at least in her seventies.

"Now, now. I might be old but I can still get around as much as before!" Lady laughed, although Michiru could tell she was grateful, as the kettle was real copper and slightly heavy.

"Its just these arthritic fingers, all those years and years of banging on those piano keys I'm afraid." She offered Michiru the sugar bowl.

"Speaking of which, You haven't played again since this morning, I'm surprised." Michiru glanced to the upright piano, lovingly seasoned past its prime.

"Ah well, the tourists will be thicker then ever today, and I don't want to attract anymore attention to this poor place." Michiru nodded, it made sense, seeing how her music was like a beacon. "Not to mention all of my pupils have been picketing or rallying...Why if I was still a young girl, I'd be right out there with them!" She gave a jovial laugh and sipped her tea. Monsieur jumped into a vacant seat and watched them as if he really were a gentleman invited to the tea party. Michiru watched him sniff the cream pitcher oh so innocently while she plotted how to approach the subject of Anigusta's intimate playing.

"No, I mean, the other music.. " Lady Anigusta adverted her eyes and stared at a sepia toned photograph, and Michiru tried to tread as lightly as though on eggshells.

"You're music is so inspiring and beautiful... Although I have a feeling, the inspiration from which it came must've been...very painful.." Lady Anigusta nodded and reached out picking up the photo. It was a much younger version of herself, in a flowing black rayon gown, with a halter neckline, open backed with a bow that brought up the front and tied behind the neck. Two strands of rhinestones outlined the bodice and the hem of the waistline. A black feathered boa and strands of pearls hung on her neck and about her shoulders. She looked so beautiful and happy.  
And at her side stood a beaming young man, no a woman with short cropped hair and friendly eyes. The suit looked like it had been borrowed for it hung a bit past the wrists and the legs could have been taken in a bit, but she had looked like the life of the party, charming, yet nice. Michiru blushed. There was a lily in the suit breast pocket.

"Oh... yes it was a very painful time. I was so much in love then. Of course, you know this was me here." She pointed to the young woman in the black rayon dress. "And this was my lover, Myia, although back then she was asked to be called Michael." She sighed placing the picture frame down, and Michiru delicately pulled the cream pitcher away from Monsieur's outreached paw. He licked his whiskers and seemed to pout, ears flicking back.

"You can't tell here, but Michael had bright coppery red hair, and a light dusting of freckles just along her nose."

Michiru played with her tea cake, wanting to ask a million questions but knowing that she must be patient. She nodded for her to continue feeling a knot forming in her stomach.

"Back then we were like the King and Queen of the alley...This place was nothing but sisterhoods and brotherhoods of artists, musicians, drag queens, and dikes. We were all loved and respected. The town ours, just for us, only for ones like us. The only place we could call home. The people in the city didn't bother us because of how remote the alley was as long as we didn't come there… And if the police gave us any trouble, we would hide in the bomb shelters until it was safe. There was a very tight knit web of communication we had, you had to have one then. It was dangerous for people like us, not to say were completely hate free now...but...the things I've seen..." Her eyes dampened, Michiru's eyes did as well.

"You don't have to continue if its too much.."

But she did, as if she couldn't even hear her now, as if she needed to say it before her soul would at peace.

"After one terrible raid in particular...I hadn't seen Michael for days. I was so scared, I thought…I thought the worst... Finally when she returned, her suit was gone and replaced with a black mourning dress, and she styled her hair, it was no longer slicked back like she used to. One of her best friends had been raped and beaten to death during a police bust. And it was Myia, not Michael who said goodbye to me then.. They scared her so bad, she just broke!" Her voice shook and Michiru brushed away a tear not wanting to imagine her latte woman beaten like that, her face bruised and battered, she could scarcely let herself feel that pain but even so it was too much to think about.  
"It was like the woman I knew died, she had no emotion at all anymore. I cried, I begged, I told her we could run away, away from it all together... She told me if even the alley wasn't safe, there was no place for us. She had an engagement with another man that she never gave him an answer to, and that she seriously considered telling him yes." Michiru looked down her fists wrinkling the sky blue fabric. "I knew why she had done it, in some weird way, she was keeping me safe; kept us from the light of ridicule by backing down. Even under the weight of life, the heart lets go. In her mind I think she thought she was showing me the ultimate love by letting me go. Protecting me the only way she could, by sacrificing us." Michiru hated to admit it, but somehow she understood that logic, although it felt bitter like poison.  
"Although that's how I like to think of it as...It's possible she never really knew for sure if she loved me at all or not. No one really allowed their self to know for sure, then. It was a time of fear."

Michiru shook her head. "I'm sure that's not true." A tear slid down her cheek.

"Perhaps...or perhaps not. First loves are as changeable and fragile as summer flowers. Coincidentally, one of my old students is engaged to my ex lover's daughter. When she had stopped by and told me they were engaged, I nearly died. She was fresh out of high school and so in love. I hadn't heard of Myia since the day the wedding was in the paper. I had always hoped she would return to me when things calmed down in the world for us. But...knowing she had a daughter. Well it's silly of me to not to have moved on, isn't it?" Lady Anigusta finished her tea. "Perhaps if I had seen the change for myself, I would have gotten some sort of closure. To me, my Michael is still out there. My first prince.. The first love is the hardest to shake.. It seems like everything on the earth reminds you of them, the bright blue sky, like their eyes, the rain like their tears...Even this old tea kettle, like her hair." Michiru nodded letting Monsieur lick the cream frosting from her tea cake off her finger. She was less curious and more reflective now, laden with Lady's memoirs. How could she ever forget this day? It was so tragic and beautiful at once. Suddenly she had such a deep respect and love for Lady Anigusta, she wanted to reach over and take her hand, prove to her how strong she was, even if her heart belonged to only one other all her life. Somewhere out there she did believe, Michael and women like her, their spirits are out there. They never really die.

"My only hope for you, dear Michiru, is that your love will be forever.." Michiru looked up blushing. "Music is a universal language my youngling. I could hear it last night in your playing. You remind me so much of myself when I was your age." Michiru nodded and smiled a bit, touched she shared so much, but she knew she had a lot of thinking to do tonight, before it would all be sorted out in her mind.

The grandfather clock on the wall chimed quarter till one. Michiru looked up startled.

"Isn't that the damnedest thing! That silly antique chimes fifteen minutes till the hour. I never had the heart to fix it!"  
"Oh, I didn't realise how late it was, I have to be at work in ten minutes!" Michiru stood up pushing in her chair.  
"Please excuse me Lady Anigusta, I apologise!"

"Not at all, not at all. I didn't look at the time myself. I guess it's been too long since I had a visitor, other then his fine gentleman here. I lost track. Go ahead and take some cake home with you, I can't eat it all." Michiru quickly wrapped up a few pieces and went to the door. "It's been so nice visiting with you, I'd like to repay the favor sometime."

"Oh no dear, those stairs are too troublesome for me! But please, if you happen to run into my old pupil, please tell her I'm thinking of her and I hope she makes the right choice!"

"Sure, I will!"

"Her name is Tenou Haruka." The older woman shouted as Michiru peeked through the door at her.

"Got it, won't forget! Have a good day!" And closed the door dashing down the steps and tossing off her gown in a blue blur of ruffles.

Lady Anigusta reached out and scratched under Monsieur's chin knowingly. "Certainly not."

She chuckled to herself, pouring the only man she ever loved a saucer of cream.


	5. It Burns

Disclaimers:

I forgot to mention, Cherrychan is mine! Mineminemine.. Lol. I don't own the song, "Right here waiting" by: Richard MarxNor do I own Haruka or Michiru oo; ohh I like this song XD..'Another day' by Madonna. Anyway XD

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Authors notes:

HI um I'm writing this right after I wrote the last bit. Isn't the Victorian Era so fascinating! I just love the book, 'The awakening' by Kate Chopin. Its so tragic and beautiful. A woman in love, against traditions and expectations, an artist who dies to save the humiliation of her family, and her own inner self..ah..well just read it! Anyway..so..On ward!P.s. All the coffee lingo, the requests the customers make, and Michiru's little 'accidents' are all true. Hey I only hit the half decaf button once! o0' and Jason was an actual co-worker of mine, only he had a badddd temper and was a huge Starwars geek, but then so am I, just not quite as much. He was like a brother to me.

p.s wow three reviews and I only just posted it, awesome! Thanks! Ill be so sad when this is over, I like being inspired. Lol. Perhaps a Victorian love story is in order! Hmm..yess :plots:

Also, the noisy neighbour thing, I really am suffering with it. ;-;

Btw, when you see: (or an astrick) after a sentence, and can figure out why it makes me giggle in relation to what Michiru is saying and what it makes you think of and how ironic that it fits, (song lyric) will win a cookie XD Im insane. Just don't get too distracted from the prospect of a cookie. Okieday?

Edit: I fixed some errors o-o; EditEdit: I fixed some more errors. O0;

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It burns

Haruka had expected a layer of dust to cover everything when she had arrived at the seventies style beach house and for the furniture to be covered in old sheets with spider webs as the main decor; Just like in those old haunted mansions in the movies. But as she fitted her key into the lock and nudged the door open, she found the place to be in near immaculate shape.

"Tesaga must still have someone come to clean this place on occasion..." She felt so weird standing in this huge part of her family and past. She felt like she knew nothing about it anymore, like the little girl who used to live here had died.

"I've been in the city too long." She walked in and sat her suitcase down. The hard wood floors were well loved and still creaked as she took a look around. She opened the cellar door and remembered herself and her cousins playing hide and seek and all the spider bites she had encountered, but it was well worth it. She opened the pantry which had seemed so large when she was little, and now she'd have to turn sideways to step into it. Dare she peek into the cupboards? Once when her and Morgan had stayed here for their anniversary, they had bought wine and cheese, and well after that she never returned. So, with a closed nose, and an outstretched hand, Haruka removed it shortly after arriving. She was ashamed, even under bachelor standards.

Walking over to the south side of the house, she climbed the creaky stairs remembering how she would slide down the banister when her mother wasn't looking. Standing now in the narrow hallway, three doors greeted her like old ghosts. The one on her left was the guest room, the middle her parents room, and the right was her old bedroom. She walked into the guest room first, she had always preferred this room to her own. The way it was positioned made the wind echo and howl even more so then the others, as it was right on the corner. She opened the windows letting the musty air out in favour of the salty tinged air of outside and breathed in deeply. Glancing down she was glad to notice the sheets had been recently changed; Not that anyone would be coming here with her. She tacked that last bit of reality on as she walked into her old bed room. All her favourite sports teams stuck out cheerily and loudly with the periwinkle coloured paint her mother made her pick. The pretty vanity set was riddled with action figures and toy cars. Once she had turned sixteen she didn't feel like coming back here in the summer for the whole season, and eventually she never came back until she was courting Morgan. The bustle and noise of the city life seemed so exciting and new to her then and kept her away. But now, seeing all she had, she almost longed for a more meaningful quiet life. Which was completely ironic considering her career. She laughed to herself, 'perhaps that's why', Perhaps it was her noisy neighbours, with their even nosier dogs, which barked and yapped at anything and everything and broke the peace so often that she invested in that huge stereo to block the barking out. Or perhaps it was the BBQ's held on the fire escapes, and how the smoke always only seemed to come into her window. But here, she could think. It wasn't quiet enough to unnerve her because of the constant breeze, and the only noise she had to contend with was the roaring of the waves, and the occasional tinkling of her mothers long since forgotten wind chimes. How long had it been since anyone heard their lonely song?

She paused to push back the blue curtains and lifted the heavy wooden framed window. The best view in the house, her mother often told her, stretched out before her in brilliant seascape.

The sun glittered behind peach clouds, making the crests of the waves sparkle like diamonds. Birds cried out in the distance and swooped past the window. The sunlight danced through the tiny leaves on the trees and its shadows played across her face. She leaned on the frame, tears suddenly pricking her eyes and she wondered why this sight made her so emotional. She wondered why this soft ocean scented breeze made her long for something, why the crashing waters and the way the wind sounded together with it, made her so desperate. She especially wondered why it only reminded her of one thing: Kaiousan.

Sighing she pushed herself up and stared a bit longer, letting herself imagine, just a mere lingering thought, the two of them out there. Walking in the sand laughing, and that girl in a billowing white sun dress which flowed about her ankles while she walked. Her long hair blowing behind her in the wind, Haruka's fingers reaching out to touch-

Haruka's eyes widened. What made her think of that suddenly? Then she realised, this vision, it was a memory of her parents so long ago, happy and in love. Her mothers fine sun dress, that tied around the neck, and layers of thin gossamer material that billowed as she walked barefoot and held out her hand to Haruka who was barely four years old. Perhaps that's why she took Morgan here so long ago, it was a place for lovers and happiness. It held some of her happiest times, some of the safest times. Protected by the slow ticking hand of time, the excuses that being a child gave, the peace of mind when you're small, it was priceless.

Idly she ran her hand through her hair thinking as she descended the stairs and did a turn about in the kitchen again. Well if she was going to stay here for a week, then she would need some food. She didn't like the prospect of starving even if it meant the possibility of eating her own cooking. She smirked a bit and ran a phone conversation outloud to herself jokingly.

"Hey Morgan, I was wondering if you and you're new beau would like to join me for dinner, yeah, you cook." She chuckled and shut the cabinet door. Grabbing a sheet of paper towel, the poor bachelor scrolled a make shift shopping list ignoring such details as plastic cups and forks. She grabbed her keys and suddenly had a passing thought. Would this be it for the rest of her life? The events marked only by coming and going, arriving and leaving? Was it her destiny, or just her nature to do this? She always felt like she was leaving some place to arrive to another. Would there ever be a time in her life that she could stand still and just watch the world for once?

Haruka walked down to the beach, the high noon sun beaming down to her, warming her skin. She picked up a palm sized stone and tossed it into the churning waves. It hit with an unheard 'plunk'. She threw a few more, each going further each time, till a small sweat formed on her brow. She breathed feeling a little bit better, so much so that she hadn't been bothered to move until a wave washed over her legs.

"Kuso! ... well, I better change now." Although she acted annoyed she was secretly a bit glad, it gave her a reason to get out of those old clothes, without admitting to the world and her destiny that she was all right with everything that's been happening in her world lately.

"First clothes, then food...then.." Then what? She glanced back at the water, mind fighting over heart. Oh well since it was on the way she might as well stop and get something.

"Chai." She muttered and smiled a bit. Not that she was going just to see _her_ or anything.

'I think this time I'll make her so nervous she'll drop the cup.' Haruka grinned and it made her eyes glow again. She went to take a shower, laying out some nice looking yet casual clothes, and her cologne.

An hour later Haruka was zooming down the highway feeling better then she had in days. A loud song on the radio made her feel so alive as she sung along. The wind was drying her short hair which was always so soft after she bathed, she missed having fingers run through it. She cranked up the radio and enjoyed the clear highway, her only lucky break that day considering the festival made everything crowded. She changed gears, her other hand on the steering wheel. She enjoyed the vibration of the car beneath her, the sun on her neck, and the warm plastic and leather interiors which somehow still held the new car smell. Somehow everything seemed right when she was in her car, she spent a lot of years like this thinking.

The spring warmth felt great. The morning seemed pretty dismal at first but maybe it would brighten after all.

The ride was over too soon as she rounded the corner and pulled up into a local grocery store, the one adjacent to café Luna. She had seen some of the employees carrying gallons of milk desperately across the parking lot during the rush last time she was here. The place was deceivingly big for Artists Alley, and it looked smaller on the outside then it was. She loved the little stores in the Alley, she was fond of the home made items, and thought they seemed to have more care put into them then the manufactured kind. This shop in particular carried a variety of things, from vitamins, and organic foods, to produce, western food and Asian food. It was great for Haruka who could be all American and buy hot dogs, and yet still pick up some ramen and curry. No one said she returned from her tours here guilt free, she also had gotten a sweet tooth and decided when she went in to look for a box of chocolate chip cookies. Or better yet…supplies for s'mores. Yup, that sounded about right.

With a wistful glance at the café, Haruka got out and went in determined to buy enough food that she could manage to both survive and not burn down her beach house.

"Yosh!" Haruka vowed and scooped up one of those 'grocery basket things' and went about her business feeling oddly domestic again.

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The afternoon had passed uneventfully in comparison of that morning for Michiru. She for the most part didn't let herself think about what Lady Anigusta said. For one thing she had been so busy getting ready for work, and the café was so packed she was too busy to think. The last thing she needed was to be distracted from all the things she said running through her head.

After returning from Lady Anigusta's Michiru had ran around like a mad woman changing into her clothes and had a hard time trying to find where she last flung her apron. Slipping on her shoes, she dashed out the door and down the steps knowing shed have to run the block and a half there or shed be late. It was too bad for her she avoided sports besides swimming, because she was almost out of breath by the time she arrived. Running wasn't her thing.

Another reason she tried not to think about her words, was that it made her sad. It made her wonder if she had what it took to be who she was, and that was something that was too much to think about right then. She began to even stop looking for her latte woman either. It had seemed so long since she saw her, she thought a lot about finding another job lately, the demands of the city people were becoming too much. Half soy half non-fat, one and a half shots, one hundred and seventy five degrees exactly, three and a half pumps of syrup, and the list continued. She was still trying to wrap her brain around the concept of an 'espresso macchiato.' A concept consisting of half and half, foam and two shots poured on top, crosshatched with caramel, all in a teeny tiny little cup. The concept made her head hurt for some reason. Why were people so particular about coffee?

But then when the elderly owner woman would remind her of how helpful Michiru was, she was reminded how she liked her job. Even if she found herself hitting the decaf button by 'accident' a lot more these days.

Upon entering the café she pushed her way through to the counter, nudging her way past the mob of people, her co-worker looked up and smiled.

"Michiru, you look ready for work today, all focus and here early again I see." She kidded and Michiru grinned at her sheepishly. Vaguely she picked up the words of the love song playing in the café over the noise of the city yuppies and protesting locals:

'Oceans apart day after day

And I slowly go insane

If I see you next to never

How can we say forever

Wherever you go

Whatever you do

I will be right here waiting for you

Whatever it takes

Or how my heart breaks

I will be right here waiting for you'

Michiru snapped out of her day dream when the espresso machine stopped steaming and poured the next latte. Her days here were always measured by how many gallons of milk a day they went through, or by how many lattes she made; Latte, after latte, after-.

"Hey Michiru, switch with the new girl and take the register, I gotta train her on making drinks before the customers accuse her of far worse then your average coffee misdemeanour."

Michiru shrugged and wiped her hands. "Sure."

She took the register and tried to handle the customers one at a time ignoring the overwhelmingly long line which was so uncharacteristic for this café.

Once in awhile as a habit Michiru would look up every moment or two and check to see how many people were still in line. When she glanced up this time, she wasn't prepared for who she saw nudging their way in. Her stomach seemed to fall through the floor; the same angular face and 'better then thou' expression.

'What are they doing here! This cant be happening..'

The captain of the football team and his friend jockeys from her home town, here. Her worst fear, that this foul person would step into her safe haven. And here she thought the day was going to be dull.

"Yeah she's gotta be some where around this piss poor town. She can't hide from me forever, you'll see."

Michiru paled and stepped back, sliding behind the espresso machine as she tried to gain time to think. One other co-worker, Jason, was wiping down tables on her right side. His shift just started and he whistled under his breath, taking in her direction. "Man, busy day already?"

He took one look at Michiru and he looked concerned.

"Hey are you okay, you don't look so well.."

Michiru untied her apron feeling kinda nauseated and hoped she looked as sick outside as she felt inside.

"Ah..yeah..I have a horrible..flu or something..Do you think you could step in for me, Id appreciate it." Michiru crumbled her apron and peered behind the espresso machine again the jocks three people behind the counter. Jason came from the lobby to her side at the register in seconds.

"Yeah sure, go home and sleep it off, your record is too spotless to say no."

"Thanks I owe you one! Listen, if anyone asks for me..." Jason looked worried and glanced out into the customers spotting the unruly heathens who were currently having a contest to see who could eat the most cream and sugar packets.

"Yeah sure, I'll cover you.. Go out the back way..no one but us knows its there."

Michiru nodded gratefully, "Thanks Jason, you were always like a brother to me.." She smiled before slipping to the back.

"Don't mention it." He said quietly his cheeks tinting a bit red.

The rowdy boys stood oblivious as Michiru slipped out the back, too busy talking about how boring the town was and how much they wished they could ditch their family to have a drinking party in the woods.

Haruka meanwhile, put her groceries into the trunk and glanced again at the café debating to go in or not. It was booming in there, and yet she was sure shed see her favourite but clumsy Barista.

Walking in she took her place in line behind some really obnoxious riffraff whom she's never seen before, she inwardly groaned and glanced up at the front scanning behind the counter for... nothing in particular. A scone perhaps, or maybe a muffin.

"Yup, I swear I'll get her to come back. I don't know what she sees in tthis place anyway." The captain continued. Haruka was only barely listening and glanced at her watch. Oh god she was becoming one of 'those' customers. Now all she needed to do was to sigh and grunt in sheer torturous agony at the minute long wait before she got her caffeine fix.

"I always thought she was weird, liking a place like this just confirms it." The guy on his right asked laughing. "What do you see in her anyway?"

"Kaiousan is the most gorgeous piece of ass in the whole country! What else? Besides it would be like the ultimate touch down if Michiru and I-"

Haruka attention went from zero to one hundred as her eyes arched in an amused yet pissed fashion. Kaiousan..Her Kaiousan? Were these punks planning to do something, or say something to her? True Haruka hardly knew her, but somehow she felt like Kaiousan was still a lady and deserved respect.

"You're holding up the line." She pointed to the three feet they had to go before the guy could take their order. He didn't look to happy to see them either for some reason.

"Oh excuse me, how rude of us. You know, why don't you cut in front. Lady's first!" They all snickered. Haruka was royally pissed now. She stepped up into his face, herself being at least a foot taller then him, and about the same if not greater in build.

"Im sorry, I wasn't aware this line was for pricks only." A lot of the other butches and femmes in the café smirked, turning their attention to the scuffle. This was the Haruka they knew.

"Hey you gotta problem, Sir?" Although his voice didn't sound as confident as before as Haruka loomed over him. Now the guy behind the counter stirred a bit torn between the duty to stop the fight, and the desire to watch it.

"Hey man, don't mess with him.. That's Haruka Tenoh.. He's like famous." A third guy stammered recognising Haruka at last, at least her media persona.

"Oh yeah, who's side are you on anyway? I don't care if he's the king of England, he's starting to really piss me off!"

A lot of the other butches and guys in the café stood up and walked over surrounding the young men. If an outsider messes with one of their own, then there was a price to pay.

"I think you outta order your drinks and beat it gentlemen, before we show you some real hospitality."

"Forget it, we don't need to come to some rundown place like this. Come on guys, lets go."

"But what about-"

"Another time, lets go." They pushed their way past Haruka who smirked as they left.

"Thanks fellas, I owe you all." She said grinning to the guys who were regaining there seats.

"Nah Haruka, those guys were grinding on our last nerve anyway. Way to take out the trash in here, eh Jason?" The man behind the counter looked relieved that there was no bloody noses or black eyes.

"What will it be Haruka, the usual?" He asked as she stepped up.

"No, I'm cutting back on the caffeine. Just a chai.." She was beaming, she hoped Kaiousan had seen. She scanned behind the counter, no one else was with him. She frowned a bit and sighed. She wasn't there after all, she defended her name, and she wasn't even there.

Jason looked up knowingly, his brow arched in amusement. This was the woman Michiru always looked at wistfully, and now it seemed Haruka returned the favour. What luck.

"Looking for someone?"

Haruka shook her head and handed him the money not waiting for her change. "No."

The Barista looked a bit doubtful but smiled anyway and handed Haruka her chai. She was almost disappointed when he didn't even mess up once. She felt mad at herself because she knew darn good and well that she came there just to see Kaiousan, it was silly of her. Sighing she left the café and walked to her car again opening the door. So much for being the heroic knight, Haruka glowered.

Well, while she's here she might as well enjoy the weather, she needed a place to think. Or maybe a place she needed to go just to make sure it was over or not, if she was even at liberty to make Kaiousan believe she might be interested or not.

Haruka drove to the park on the boarder of the alley right before the exit you take to get to highway forty three and picked a space turning off the engine again. She took a moment to gather herself then stepped out. This was the park she had asked Morgan to marry her in, and the place they had their first date in high school as well. She figured if she could handle this, then she was getting better. Still it made her stomach clench a bit as she sat down on their bench and nursed her chai. Why had she let herself see her again? And so soon after the wounds from Morgan, however small now, were beginning to heal? She leaned a bit on the metal bench making it creak under her weight with each movement. It was an irritating distraction, and yet it took her back to her youth and the way the jungle gym would squeak and creak in places. Haruka smiled to herself. In school she preferred sports to the jungle gym at recess, only using it as a way to show off for the girls. Usually though she would be found roughing up the boys, joining in their games of kick ball or soccer, or jumping off on the highest swing anyone ever saw. She liked it because for a moment it felt like she was flying, and the wind rustled past her ears and blew her hair.

And when she was playing sports, running or racing, she felt..normal. She felt whole.

"I knew I'd find you here..." A female voice began. "I tried to call but the cell was out of range.. Can we talk?"

She tried with a wince to hold onto those memories, those wholesome times, but they slipped through her fingers like silk at the sound of the voice. Haruka knew who it was before she even looked up, she shrugged and stood tossing her cup out. Sometimes, especially lately, she wished for the simplicity of being a child again.

"Sure, Morgan."

----------------------------------------------------

Michiru quickened her pace taking a round about way from the back around the café. Protests were being discussed as she caught a glimpse of conversation by the fountain. She tried not to look like she was being chased or anything, but her heart was pounding. What if they don't leave? Will she have to move again? Did they see her?

She took every back alley she knew of and in the process got lost a couple of times and ended up wandering for about ten minutes. Eventually she ended up walking into a park on the edge of the alley. She wasn't sure which direction to go now, and her head was pounding. She did feel sick after all, and sore. Michiru miserably walked a few more places deciding to put her apron back on rather then hold it. As she looped it over her head she looked up and realised she was about six yards behind the mysterious latte woman who had been haunting her dreams for almost a month now. She ran off the path and behind the row of bushes that defined the path, ducking behind a tree. She panted quietly as she watched the tall blonde exchange heated words with a smaller shoulder length red haired woman. Michiru's eyes flashed in anger as the woman smacked Haruka across the face, she touched her own face in response somehow feeling the sting as well, brows knitting.

"Over! Don't you get it! Stop bothering me about it, Haruka!" The woman had shouted to the blonde whose hands clenched at her sides.

Michiru gasped her eyes wide. Haruka... Tenou Haruka! Was that the woman Lady Anigusta mentioned? She felt kinda woozy suddenly as everything seemed to be in a new light. She leaned against a tree nearby. So that's the woman who caused Haruka so much pain. Her cheeks burned, as she glared at the short haired woman in the mini business suit, hating her more already. Her latte woman was Haruka, all this time. The outstandingly talented girl who took piano lessons in the Alley and whose fiancé's mother, broke Anigusta's heart those many decades ago?

"Can't you just hear me out?" Haruka yelled. The red haired woman turned away from her scowling.

"Why else did you come back here, to this same spot for? Just wanted to twist the knife a bit more!"

"I came to say Goodbye Haruka!..For good. I'm leaving the city. I'm leaving everything." She retorted quietly, business like almost.

"Leaving.. where?" Haruka asked her hands clenched in her pockets, her groceries forgotten in the car. Her face was red but her voice was calm even though she was so passionate before. She was so calm it made Michiru shiver, Morgan seemed not to notice.

"To live with-" A car went passed whooshing out the name from earshot and stopped close to the two arguing woman. Michiru couldn't hear over the idling engine so she crept closer.

Haruka seemed to have taken a few steps forward as if she couldn't believe what she heard. Morgan continued quickly, annoyed by Haruka's exasperation.

"He's a land developer, and was only in the area a short time to try and reshape this town into something greater, something much more then college kids and stray cats. But the damn hippie protesters had an act of some sort passed, and its not worth all the legal trouble now. Personally I would have been glad to see it paved down, nothing but an over run wood stock, if you ask me." Haruka's eyes widened and the tips of her ears got red, something she did when she was really angry. How did her sweet Morgan get so bitter?

"You can't mean that; You know this place is so much more then that." Morgan scowled looking down. "And what kind of creep is he anyway, when you cant see the beauty and richness of this town?" Haruka said in contempt, regretting already how impassioned she was getting.

Michiru winced when her creeping caused a twig to snap between her sneaker. She ducked, pressing her cheek against the damp earth and froze her heart beating wildly. Both of the women turned, but didn't see her.

Morgan merely crossed her arms and shrugged. "I'm sick of this town and its ghosts."

"Well I guess that's it then. All wrapped up." Haruka said knowing for sure the Morgan she knew had died. "Thanks for everything, really."

"Don't be like that, please...you know it wouldn't have worked, Tenou-kun" Michiru noticed how Haruka stiffened when she addressed her so formally.

"Yeah I know. Its just a damn shame.. It had been beautiful you know, between us-" She admitted doggedly. Love is a precious mask of illusion.

"Yes.."

"He's waiting then?" Haruka heard herself ask.

"Yes. I should go now."

Despite either of them, Haruka pecked her cheek goodbye, the sensation somewhere between boiling rage, and the thick tugging feeling of sweet regret. It was so thick in her throat, Haruka couldn't breathe. Not only did she loose her once, but now twice, forever. The best part of her adolescence, her teen years, so full of nervous uncertainty, of bittersweet bliss, walking away.

Morgan went briskly off in the direction of the car that had temporally obstructed Michiru's hearing. As she had slammed the door, it pulled out of the park in a screech of rubber on gravel.

Haruka wondered, distantly, dazed, if somehow this was Morgan's psychological way of soothing all the pain her mothers affair caused, by having one of her own, and hurting someone else in the same way. Abuse is like ripples in a pool, they echo out forever in different generations unless stopped. Haruka hoped though that if anyone benefited from this experience, it would be Morgan. Haruka knew eventually she could handle the pain, it would just take a lot of time, or so she thought. But there was one thing she knew for sure, it was clear to her like a beacon, like an allergic reaction, rippling over her body. She didn't want the city any longer, not right now. Morgan could have it, the land developers and the non-fat extra hot latte people, as well. Trembling from emotion, rage, shame, guilt, sadness, disgust, Haruka quickly made her way up the path. She needed the peace and solitude of her car, she needed the safe haven of her childhood, she didn't want to be seen anymore. She didn't want to _feel _anymore.

As Haruka walked the clouds broke and it begun to rain again. It caused the newly budding leaves to rustle and forced the rest of the remaining blossoms off the branches. The scene was now collecting with pain, as if each rain drop was represented by it.

It was another season shift, summer was coming. Nature tore away the scabs to allow new growth. Soon leaves would replace the flowers. But somehow it was so very sad, watching the last delicate petals go. If they did represent young love, their love, it was being washed down the storm drain; literally. This was the very place Haruka proposed those years ago. She made a sort of noise which resembled a gasp and a cry of pain, but it was quiet, and if Michiru had known how much the blondes demeanour from before had diminished, that would have been worse of all for her to witness.

As it was she still felt so bad for Haruka. Wiping away a tear, Michiru got to her feet. Her muscles trembled and stiffened in protest from being so still and stiff all that time. Rain plastered her aqua hair to her cheeks in thin ringlets. Vaguely she acknowledged a scratchy throat, and her face felt so warm. The fluky weather and her off sleeping last night must've made her vulnerable to this changing weather.

'I gotta get out of here before she thinks I was spying on purpose..'

Heart pounding she walked back a few paces and then turned breaking into a full out run in the direction to which she came, vowing to take every back alley until she was home again.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Haruka heard the footsteps and looked in that direction, somewhere on her left, eyes narrowing. Had someone been spying on her? She caught a glimpse of blue apron strings and white bottoms of sneakers. Shocked, she let out a shuttering sob of crumbling pride and growing anger. How..why.. did she always show up in her life when she wasn't wanted. Haruka's social life, she felt, was possibly the only thing she could control and this girls way of popping into it whenever she wanted irritated Haruka. Why wasn't she there then Haruka needed to see her? When it was okay enough to be seen, when Haruka was willing to let her in?

She didn't know what she was doing, but she tore after the fleeing form. Her athletic legs carried her twice as fast, and soon she knew before even touching her arm, or making her face her, that it had been the young woman from café Luna. Always lately, in her dreams, those eyes, that stare, haunted her and she woke up reaching out for Morgan's side of the bed. And then today at the beach, this woman's presence haunted her still. Haruka liked her privacy and this young woman was not invited into it without her permission like this The way she made her feel, surprised and scared Haruka and she didn't think she was ready to feel it again, to possibly love again. It was too soon, specially now, after this. After she went to see her, after she allowed such kind thoughts about her. After Morgan rejected her, why now?

"Why!" Haruka yelled her voice raw from the pain. She couldn't tell from what, be it her tears, or the rain, but water streaked down her strong face, and made her eyes strain nearly closed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-." Michiru stammered, feeling Haruka's mix of rage and pain as her pride had been so wounded as this. Haruka grabbed both of her shoulders making her look up into her eyes. Michiru's face flushed, despite how pale and cold she felt, shivering from the icy spring rain. "I'm sorry." She said again, as Haruka let her go, her eyes too much for the blonde to bare right then, the emotion piercing her. Despite what those eyes told her, she had to know, and the rage she felt wouldn't let her stop there.

"Do you enjoy watching people in pain, or prying into their lives?" Normally Haruka wouldn't react this way, but the raw sting of Morgan's rejection, and the natural desire to confess herself to the girl made Haruka ever more wary and frustrated.

"Iie..Gomen nasai!" Michiru answered weakly over the rain over and over, which hardly made a sound at all, her voice being raw and exposed since she had been running all the way from the café through the back roads, and the gulp fulls of cool air made her chest ache. Vaguely now, she knew where she was, and could somehow detect the shoreline in the distance nearby, closer them she expected. Her mind began to mesh dream and reality into one, as her eyes unfocused. She wanted to reach out and smooth the older woman's hair, the pain caused wrinkles on her forehead, the tears she would swear was rain on the corners of her eyes. Then she finally made the connection between the lover in her dreams with this blurry outline of her café woman. All this time, she had been dreaming of her. She felt so dizzy and tired.

"Well? Did you hear what I said?" Haruka barked, as the young woman swayed on her feet. Haruka's eyes widened as she instinctively reached out and caught the woman mid fall, sweat and rain collecting in little drops against her feverish forehead.

"Michiru-" Haruka remembered from over hearing the boys. Had she been running from them all this time? Is that why she wasn't at the café? Haruka frowned a bit, suddenly feeling very awkward and ashamed. Michiru wasn't spying, she was just walking through, or trying to. Haruka had over reacted. Again, another reason she should stop using these troublesome things called emotions.

She adjusted the limp woman in her arms into a more secure position and scowled. Her scowl turned into a anxious glance as the street was deserted and she had no idea where the girl lived. She could take her to the café, turn her into the manager, explain what happened but that would be embarrassing for both of them. And what if those boys came back? Did Michiru have anyone who could protect her? And why did she care?

Cursing, Haruka strolled to her car and laid the soaked Michiru into her back seat and got in herself slamming the door. She roared the engine into life, and despite the slight spring humidity, she flicked on the heater hoping it would help reduce Michiru's chills. Flicking on the windshield wipers, she allowed herself a moment to think. Glancing back at Michiru in the mirror, Haruka tapped the steering wheel. Well, what else could she do? It would just be best to take her to crash on her sofa, just until she wakes up or her fever breaks, one or the other, she reasoned. But carrying a young woman in her arms, in the middle of the day unconscious was suspicions even for the city. Besides that it would cause too much media publicity. She had no choice, shed have to take her to the one place she felt safe, where no one remembered her. Where the only other person besides her who had stepped into it for at least twenty years, was Morgan.

So, Haruka pulled out, and headed south away from the city and Artists Alley. Soon the salty stretch of coastline, stormy and angry crested with churning foam, peeked out from the edge of the highway. Haruka despite the rain and circumstance, cracked the window just a bit and took in the air, feeling a rushing mix of nervous excitement. There was no other way, no where else she could go. They were zooming back toward the coastline beach house. Haruka could somehow give Michiru refuge there, although she didn't understand the real significance this could be for the girl, after Michiru saw that suspicious car in the morning and the rowdy customers Haruka ran into going inside the café. Maybe this was a bit of a refuge for herself as well, at least now she had some company. No she couldn't think that way, this was very serious. There was an unconscious girl in her back seat, and she had just screamed at her like a maniac, for no reason. Haruka's brows furrowed and she clenched the steering wheel. Perhaps in the morning they could be more civil to each other, and Haruka could make it up to her. Glancing at the beauty in the back seat, Haruka hoped she wouldn't be accused of kidnapping in the morning.

"How do I get myself in these situations?" She asked. Michiru simply stirred a lone tear slipping down her cheek as she dreamed.

The setting sun and the world as she knew it blurred into wet crimson and purple as they sped down the highway.

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	6. To Heal and Surrender

-1**Disclaimers:**

The wondrous Haruka and Michiru do not belong to me, although every Tuesday they come over for pancakes and tea..yeah.

**Authors notes:**

Wow this story is in lead with love lore of the wind and sea! It is second place not that reviews matter so much to me as how it effects people, of course. But it is really helpful. Thanks for the reviews, Ill miss the attention! Guess that means I should write something new after this? Edit: Oy. I so haven't been inspired to write, I got into a major legend of Zelda thing cause Im making my girlfriend play it, and the new LOZ game is coming out in November. Plus word kept crashing so.. And I am a red head:newly dyed hair..gleamgleam: Not to mention work, college and stuff as like.

Lookie Neptunestears got's a message from a reader:

'Hey where are you? We, your loyal readers, are trying to patiently wait for the next chappie."

Heheh...GOMEN NASAI:bows: Sorry guys. I appreciate everyone but I cant write unless I'm inspired, but Ill try specially today ok? Maybe its because I haven't written myself cliff notes for this far and I'm scared lol. I don't know how to approach this now that I'm out of the shelter of Artists Alley. Its like the ending is as important as the beginning you know? Oh there goes the dogs.. Btw I've been dealing with computer viruses as well so o not to mention a visit to the doctor for an ear infection Don't worry, I've already started on the next chapter, I promise I wont make you wait as long!

**To heal and surrender**

Day melted slowly into night as she drove, so that by the time Haruka pulled into the once gravely driveway, the last rays of the sun were slipping behind the horizon. Although with the rain it seemed much darker. It had stopped for the most part, she had turned her wind shield wipers off about ten minutes ago, but in exchange the air was chilled from the misty soft rain. Damp earth squished into thick muck under her tires. Shifting the gear into park, she hoped the weather in the next day or two would be nicer, otherwise her car would be stuck when they had to leave. Sighing, the blonde flicked off the engine and leaned heavily on the steering wheel. As she sat there, a dull headache threatening, she noticed how the keys made a slow thunking noise as they hit the bottom of the dash; how the cooling engine made a clicking noise, like an unwinding clock. These sounds mingled with the distant crashing of the waves and the soft breathing of Michiru. In an instant it was like the essence of life, of living, of existence. A feeling Haruka hadn't felt in awhile, it seemed right. Then everything that night, came back to her, and her heart felt laden again. Somewhere to her left, lighting streaked the sky and made the world around her an eerie blue.

She felt tired. The drive home seemed less enjoyable when she knew there was a shivering girl in her back seat, and pelting rain that limited vision. Stretching, Haruka took off her seat belt and stepped out into the misty chill; her shoes made a squelching noise as she did so. What to do first? Should she unlock the door, get a blanket, or an umbrella for Michiru? No, that wouldn't work too well if Michiru couldn't hold the umbrella herself. Should she go in and light a fire and then bring in the girl? No, Haruka didn't want her waking up in some strange car at night and be completely scared to death. So, Haruka opened Michiru's door and took one of the old jackets she kept in there(more like forgot she had in there) and wrapped it around Michiru's small cold frame. Scooping her up again, she went as best as she could up the stairs, through the muck and the blinding mist. Remarkably, she did this without tripping, and fought to unlock the front door. At last, it swung open, the musty pent up air seemed to have returned just enough to make Haruka sneeze. And it all seeped out at once as if the house had been holding its breath, the muted mix of dust and sea breeze; a curious mix. No warm baked treats, or cooking meals, like so many times in her childhood when she would enter.

The house which had seemed dead, almost stirred now, the wind breathing new life into its walls, evoking new ghosts from the past. The wind stirred the wooden plated walls, releasing trapped noises and eras long ago. A laugh, a cough, a baby's wailing.

Haruka shivered at these, taking off her shoes quickly, careful to avoid the mud and laid Michiru on the sofa. Like a fussing mother, she closed the window nearest her and started searching the house for some paper, and even went down into the basement, risking the spiders once more, for some kindling. Gradually the blond made a small fire in the hearth trying to remember everything her father had told her so many years ago. She adjusted the flue so that the curling smoke went upwards, praying that it had been cleaned recently; A house fire was the last thing she needed. She imagined herself, drifting away on a piece of the house, out into the horizon, no one knowing her, no one caring. Somehow that seemed attractive just then.

But the chimney had apparently been cleaned, and the cheery fire made the room seem almost pleasant with warmth and orange glow. It graded against Haruka's determined gloom like sandpaper. Michiru stirred, whimpering a bit, and her eyes opened briefly.

"Tenou...kun?.." She asked softly, hesitant, and unsure. A bit because Haruka's words from before still left a stinging mark where they fell and a bit because she wasn't sure if she was dreaming or not. Haruka took it as confusion from her sickness, perhaps it was partly that too.

"Hai..just wait a moment, and I'll go find dry clothes."

"Don't leave me.." Michiru's teal eyes were locked onto Haruka, and she seemed to be having a feverish moment. She looked around, as if trying to get her baring.

"Where are my parents?.. I want to go home." It nearly broke Haruka's heart. She almost shyly touched Michiru's face to comfort her, but then her hand cradled her forehead, shocked at how hot she felt. It worried her.

"Don't worry, Michiru, I wont leave you alone.."

What was first, medicine? Clothes? Food? Keeping her vow, Haruka picked Michiru up again and took her upstairs. Nudging the door in the center open with her socked foot, she went to the only place she knew of to find woman's clothes, if any, in her parents room. Laying Michiru on the flower patterned coverlet, Haruka opened the drawers and the closet searching for warm clothes and produced a soft blouse, cable knit sweater and warm corduroy pants. She looked at Michiru, realizing something; She'd have to undress her. Michiru shivered, and coughed in the meantime, her breathing caught somewhere between dosing and awake.

"Kaiousan..you're soaking wet, do you have enough energy to put these on?" Michiru struggled to sit up, her forehead burning, and yet she was shivering. She fought with her soaked shirt. The material got twisted and she soon fell back with a sigh, and weak cough again.

"Gomen..Nasai.." She muttered, tears streaking her face, for this must be terribly embarrassing, Haruka gathered. Not only that but its scary to be sick in a strange place, so far from home and vulnerable.

"Shh.. Its okay.. If anyone should be saying sorry, its me. But right now, you need to get warm.." Haruka laid the clothes on the bed, and rolled up her own soaked sleeves as they clung to her forearm, making her feel sloth like in restricted movement. Honestly though, she was procrastinating.

"So then, I guess we could do this together, ne?" Haruka said, almost blushing but hiding it well. Michiru closed her eyes and nodded, however, if by fever or modesty a slight blush did color her cheeks. Haruka's face felt just as hot, thinking how sweet the blush was, and how she would have to summon every ounce of self control she had for this, for both of them. Not that she'd ever do anything against Michiru's assent, but it didn't keep her mind from wandering. She sat beside Michiru, her knee holding her up as she changed her clothes gym room style. By pulling her arms inside the shirt first, putting the new one on, and pulling the old one off through the top hole, and easing her arms out again. Haruka also tugged on the warm cashmere sweater over her head and arms. It was lucky her mother had kept such clothes here, since they mostly always stayed in the summer months back then. There was a flash of lightening making the old fashioned ceiling light flicker.

Haruka laid Michiru down again, her hair crumpled under and around her shoulders in wet ringlets. Her hands touched and lingered on Michiru's jeans, and suddenly she felt as naughty as a high school boy. In the distance, Thunder boomed and rumbled its verse in reply to the lightening. It droned on like the voice of an old scholar or teacher, with a deep grumbling that made Haruka somehow remember her tenth grade history class and Morgan's sweet sixteen smile. A knot formed somewhere in her stomach and pulled in response. Like a wave of cool water, emotions made Haruka began to drown in her consciousness. It made her thoughts churn. They passed through, connected, like a train on its track; One boxcar after another trailing.

The teal haired woman, seemingly forgotten, stirred a bit uncomfortable with the hot teasing touch of Haruka's idle hand and coughed hoping to wake her from the spell she was trapped in. Like a grasping hand, it tugged Haruka out of these waves of emotion, her back to the surface; snapping her back to the present. She realized horrified, that her hand had been on Michiru san's taunt lower tummy.

"K..Kaiousan..Gomen nasai.." She couldn't breathe. It felt like a million degrees in there.

"It's alright... I'm so.. cold." Michiru protested, her pause flying. She wished she was coherent enough to enjoy this. Although if she had been, she probably wouldn't't have had this opportunity. Or whatever it should be called.

Haruka didn't hesitate any longer, she was being selfish enough already. It was her fault Michiru-san had been in this mess in the first place, her fault that she blew earlier out of proportion. Biting her lip a bit, she deftly and quickly unbuttoned and pealed off the soaked pants; down smooth legs and over delicate bare feet, pausing only once for the shoes and socks. Haruka, trembling a bit herself now, worked with numbing fingers. Finally she slid new pants on, hoping that the material would bring warmth into the chilled skin. A bead of sweat lingered on her brow, as she finally slid two layers of warm socks over Michiru's feet, which bunched at the ankles.

She tried not to notice how Michiru's tummy contracted as Haruka's fingertips brushed it trying to unbutton her jeans, or how round and perfect her belly button was; like a jewel. Or the sheen of Michiru's light blue panties or creamy skin like French vanilla.. She was always the gentleman, but this tested her limits. She used concentration and determination to be as saintly as possible, after all they hardly new each other..in person anyway.

Pleased with herself, Haruka looked up to check her patient. A pair of glittering teal eyes greeted her, watching her, half closed like a cat just woken from dosing, or waiting to pounce. It seemed as though to Haruka, that she had been watching all along for reactions to her body. As soon as she caught her eye to say something in response, they fluttered closed again, the glance excused by weakening sickness, an innocence on her part for now. Haruka felt her mouth twitch into a small smile, Michiru's eyes watching her like that, had warmed her like a shifting ray of sunlight through tree tops, and eased over her like the sweet thickness of honey. Part of her clung to this little shred of emotion, hungry for affection, for the sweet exchange of mutual interest and possible desire. It began a small fire of its own, deep in her belly, even lower. The sweet smoke threatened to cloud Haruka's common sense, her judgment. The warmth made her skin begin to feel agitated, an itch she couldn't scratch, her pulse race a bit. She fought with the flame, struggling to snuff it out, or to nurture it; So tiny but so very dangerous. She couldn't let it control her, not now. And yet, she wanted it..needed it again. Love was the best weapon, and the best balm for wounds. Part of her wanted to toss it away, scold herself, curse her situation. For now she decided to savor it, deciding to pass this feeling on as mere hope that this small glimmer of flirting was a sign that perhaps Michiru wasn't as bad off as Haruka anticipated.

'At least she seems to be feeling a little better', the blonde concluded, the shivering had stopped. Haruka went around the corner into the room's bathroom and retrieved a towel, remarkably fluffy for its age, and used it on Michiru's hair, making it go from limp ringlets, to plush waves in seconds. She tried not to notice, however, how her hair was like liquid silk in her fingers.

"Now then, you're going to lay by the fire, while I fret over you like a nursemaid, okay?" She tried to smile, hoping it wasn't more serious then she thought. Michiru only snuggled closer in response, quite comfortable in her role as patient, as Haruka re-scooped her, the wet clothes forgotten for now, still on the floor.

The fire was burning merrily when they returned to the room. Haruka eased Michiru back against the sofa, fighting the temptation to pile blankets over her form. She read once how it would worsen fevers, and was conflicted because clearly Michiru needed warmth and yet if she were feverish, could not take it. She decided to put the layers on her long enough to warm her, and then she'd remove them. She tried to remember how Morgan took care of her when she was sick. Hopefully for now, Michiru's exposure was long enough to chill the fever, but in the meantime, Haruka searched the closet for medicine. Most of it was outdated but there was an almost new bottle of Tylenol left over from Morgan fussing about one ailment or another, and Haruka retrieved it. Pacing into the kitchen, she scanned the bottle for directions and went to reach for a glass. For all the housekeepers cleaning, the dishes were neglected, because there was no point in cleaning dishes for no one to eat from them. She scowled as she pulled down a dusty glass. Shed have to run the dish washer, and hoped to god it still worked. It was, 'new age' and 'high tech' for its time, now it looked and was antique. For now though, Haruka awkwardly located the soap, and a cloth, washing the glass till it was beyond her criteria for clean. After all, a bachelor's criteria isn't all that high to begin with. She wished she had ginger ale, but thanked her soda addiction for once because she had bought some sort of lemony lime soda that would work almost as well. She poured it into the glass and went beside Michiru again. There it was, that domesticated feeling again.

"Here, take this, it'll help." As the girl weakly obeyed, Haruka left her to drink only enough to get the pill down, and not a lot more at once until she was sure she could hold things down. At least that's what she remembered from when she was sick as a child.

"Could you eat something?..Michiru?" But the girl was already dozing again. Haruka stood there feeling lost and almost helpless, adrenaline slowly draining from her body as the moment of action passed for now. She wondered if this is how a mother felt, caught up in the moment, in their child's life, and then suddenly void of action, void of being needed.

Sliding herself into the fireside arm chair, a memory hit her like a poised arrow released. She ran her hands over the worn material, remembering how shed sit in her grandfather's lap as he told her stories. Her mother's voice in the kitchen minding her to wash her hands before dinner. Her father's laugh as he chatted with her uncle, her cousins laying on the floor amid scattered wax crayons which began to become soft and useless so close to the heat of the hearth. How her aunt swept in and would on occasion pull them back to a safer distance as though they were at home and up close against the television set.

These memories also must be part of the ghosts Morgan spoke of. Haruka tried to brush them away, but it clung to her like a spider's web, invisible to whoever was careless in their step, so thin you cannot grasp it, and yet so strong, it was near indestructible. Tears pricked her eyes. She was so busy, caught up in her growing career, when her grandfather had died. She was across country, snatching bits of information and news about his condition through the telephone. Her only possible response was a message telling him, if he remembered her, that she loved him which was left for her father to give.

She looked over at Michiru wondering if she too had such memories, if she was old enough to have her own ghosts. If she was mature enough to realize the power of her choices for others, the tug of war guilt of it, of your own happiness and the responsibility to others for theirs. How youth is only a brief paper thin shield to the world. She wondered if she knew yet the dawning realization, somewhere between the immortality of a child in view of their self, and the actuality of mortality in adulthood. Believing once that time will not touch you, that life cannot touch you, that everything precious and dear will last forever. And then someone close to you, perhaps someone older, or more shocking, someone younger, passes away. You begin to count your blessings, you start to cherish those close to you, and linger on the sadness of those away from you. She wondered if Michiru had known these things yet, if she could've still left if she had. From what she overheard from the boys in the café, Michiru was a long way from home; leaving all she loved behind.

The girl in question rolled on to her side, her face in sleep peaceful one moment, and then knitted the next as she dreamed.

'So..' Haruka continued the thought in her mind, as if chatting with someone, a passerby, a stranger on a park bench not really listening or comprehending and Haruka not caring either way, just passing time, just pitching out life's questions. Like pieces of sandwich crusts to park birds. '..if Michiru had known..'

Was she was at peace with it? Could one ever be at peace in those situations? If so, Haruka envied her for it. She blinked realizing she herself did the same thing when she was younger, only she had no physical excuse to keep her distance, as oceans and mountains did not separate her from her loved ones; Her preference in women did. Sure, it was not spoken out loud, like a death forgotten, forbidden. It wasn't an official reason, but she felt it. She felt the tension at her cousins wedding after she came out, tightly gripping Morgan's hand. Her mother's eyes boring into her, tearful, resentful, an angry sadness that it wasn't Haruka up there in that dress. That it never would be. Not joy, that Haruka might finally be able to find herself, not gladness for her daughters health, her life before her like unpainted canvas. It was and always will be over cast, demented, crippled. It changed her parents, not soon after that there was the talk of divorce, the fight over the piano that Haruka had recalled only weeks ago; it seemed like years.

It was sad that such a technical thing could be greater then mountain tops, or ocean shores.

Deep in thought now, Haruka watched without seeing, a small tendril of hair slip down Michiru's cheek, slow like a tear. She wondered if this girl had the same cross to bare, if this was the reason she could cross hundreds of miles; seeking refuge, seeking herself, or seeking the illusions of both.

When Haruka was young she thought time would freeze for her, or more like she knew it had. Life's worries did not touch her. She was young and attractive, witty and smart. She knew the world, her world, inside and out. Being a senior in high school, on top of the world, riding high on scholarships and her arm looped with the prettiest girl in school. She was unaware of a bigger world, a scarier one, without thinking about it. They always told her she was an adult then, and with it came a lap full of things people older expected of her; But the worries adults cautioned to her, did not apply. She was young, untouched, life couldn't stop her, speed couldn't stop her, the laws of nature couldn't stop her. She was different, born different, embraced it. Haruka reasoned how everyone thinks once you leave high school, you're an adult, capable and ready. But the real learning, the real maturity comes much later, after school. When all you can afford is rent, some groceries, some new shoes, if you were really pushing it. Adulthood for her didn't come till she was in her mid-twenties, a few years ago. She wondered how many others there were like her, and was this young girl one of them; A butterfly trapped still in its shell, premature and yet trying to fly. Haruka leaned her arms on her elbows, still deep in thought, but beginning to shift now. Her bodies needs beginning to demand, since the tension had long since past. She watched the last dying rays of the setting sun kiss Michiru's cheeks, and then silvery shadows ease in through the closed window as the moon raised patient with its long waited return.

She seemed so young and yet Haruka felt like an equal with her, or perhaps a little behind her. Michiru seemed so solemn and wise for her age, Haruka guessed she had to be about seventeen at least. Or so she hoped.

No. She shouldn't think that way. Haruka blinked out of her thoughtful state, shaking her head. Such nonsense. And like a carousal, her thoughts began to turn full circle. Haruka wasn't really old fashioned in her beliefs, obviously, but there was quite a bit of age difference between them. Standing, Haruka felt the creeping heat of embarrassment slide over her body, even though she realized only then she too, was cold and soaked through. She rubbed her eyes with her hand, a gesture that was her fathers. She fed one last little log to the fire, and cracked the window delaying her departure as if Michiru might wake and need something. Finally, after locking the door, she turned once more feeling a lightness as she glanced back. Haruka turned on a small table lamp as she left to go upstairs so Michiru could see if she had to. She decided that a shower and some sleep did not sound half bad, even though she doubted that the later would happen when the time came. It took months for her to get used to Morgan being in the house, before she could sleep soundly. Not to mention this was a strange house to her now. But, she knew there was a lot of explaining, and apologizing to do, and Haruka didn't want to screw it up when the time came, or be irritable from lack of sleep. It was already quarter till ten.

Haruka slowly undid the dress shirt buttons, her fingers despite being numb and cold flew over them expertly. She did a shrugging motion and it came down off her shoulders, before tugging and pealing off the rest of her wet clothes, tossing them in the pile next to Michiru's. The contrast was apparent as she looked to them, thrown together haphazardly. She smiled a little sadly, eventually having to scoop Michiru's up, letting them hang on the drawer knobs until the morning when she could summon the energy to dry them. But for now she couldn't stand them on the floor like that, mixed with her own. It made her remember, and it made her long for things she couldn't have. Getting her bath stuff out of her travel case, Haruka went into the small master bath (small in comparison to her city flat's bathroom) appreciating the simplicity of the Victorian style in which it had been designed. The hinting of brass and marble, mixed with the light ocean grays and blues of her mothers taste. Haruka peeked into the shower hoping it was clean and to her relief it was spotless, save an unsuspecting cricket by the drain and a nesting spider. She assembled her little army of travel sized shampoos, conditioners, body washes and gels of the sort along the crème colored porcelain walls. She got junk like this constantly when she toured. She never used to be so involved with bathing, but when she lived with Morgan it became a habit, or else her side of the bed would be mighty lonely. Besides it was free and between her sponsors and the hotels she wouldn't have to buy bath stuff for a long while. And who would really find the mix of motor oil and cologne attractive anyway? (Michiru sneezes down stairs and resettles) Haruka assembled her toothbrush, her toothpaste, a comb and her deodorant, liking the feel of being in a new place, her own space for once since Morgan left. She took a look around before flipping on the water. The pipes groaned from lack of use, and made a weird clicking noise, but soon jets of warm water shot out and collected trickling down the shower doors and walls. The spider and the cricket booted out of their place, soon swept down the drain forgotten, the space dominated by man again.

This wasn't the bathroom she remembered as a child, for this connected out to a smaller door she hadn't noticed in the hallway, but was once another smaller bathroom. Her parents had made the two bathrooms into one since the children were grown, and they replaced the wooden paneling for eggshell white paint and peach marble, the color of sand. Haruka noticed it was bigger but didn't realize the door here wasn't just a closet which kept the spare towels and she didn't bother to look for those yet, since she would probably just change in the room. Usually she would go commando but she didn't feel given the circumstances that it was appropriate. She glanced at herself in the mirror, it was already getting foggy and the glass was misted, unclear like the haze of a dream. Despite this though, her skin was bristled lightly with goose bumps, longing for the hot water. She hoped Michiru wouldn't't mind if she waited till morning to wash her clothes for her. She felt too tired to do it that night, and didn't think she could familiarize herself with the basement in the dark to find the washer machine or the soap for that matter.

Haruka closed the bathroom door and stepped into the shower, wincing as the temperature was near scalding. She fumbled with the handles till the water was tolerable before relaxing. The streams poured over her skin as she leaned with her palms against the porcelain, her back curved slightly. She tipped her head back, the water combing through her short hair, plastering it against her head. She felt as though the water was washing away all of the grime, sweat and emotions of that day, renewing her.

She glanced out the window, and the shoreline far below churned, her only neighbor on that side of the house. The sky was dreamy. White clouds passed by the moon making the world outside shift in hues of silver and blue. Or maybe she mistook some of the clouds for steam from the shower, it was hard to tell. Haruka reached for her body wash and her loofa feeling suddenly subconscious.

These were things she learned from Morgan, but now in the presence of Michiru, she wondered how it would seem. It was funny how love freed you and imprisoned you at the same time. Haruka shrugged a little and used more soap then necessary liking the foamy lather and how it slid over her muscles, through her fingers; the masculine scent of the 'arctic falls' men's body wash laced its way through the steam as she lavished her neglected body.

Secretly, she told herself that despite being tired, she took such care because she deserved it, and not because she wanted to be presentable for Michiru when the time came. Next was shampoo and Haruka worked it through her short blonde hair, the soap creeping down her neck and back as her agile fingers played along her scalp like piano keys. She rinsed and neglected the repeat direction for tonight, skipping to conditioner. Finally, she felt satisfied and groped for the faucet handles, streams of water making her neglectful to open her eyes.

Michiru stirred, opening her eyes with a start. Everything was a blur and shadows stretched across the strange walls like monsters. She did a self check consciously checking herself over. Her clothes were intact, her fever was gone, her nose still remained a bit stuffy but it might be allergies from the dust. Although she felt sore, and was in a strange place, she felt better somehow sick wise. She sat up, the blanket was wrapped and twisted around her from tossing and turning. She tried to free herself, her heart beating wildly, the couch was so worn over the years that she sunk into it, finding it hard to get up. Finally the blanket slid to her feet. She stood there hugging herself, although she felt so warm from the sweater. She whipped around making sure she was alone, tendrils of hair clung to her cheeks from sweat. Since she was indeed alone, Michiru allowed herself to relax a little since the shadows held no surprises. Walking over to a window she looked out. Wisps of sea breeze still managed to sneak in through the bottom of the cracked panes. This seemed like a bad dream, and she wasn't sure what had been real or not, or where in the world she was, although the scent of the air seemed familiar. She let her mind go on auto pilot, her head hurt too much to think right then, and just took in what she saw. A sparkling sea shore just peaked out over the sand dunes outside, and a unfamiliar car was parked in the driveway. She touched the glass, her breath making the window fog as she could barely just make out the license plate of the fancy sports car. "TENOU127"

"Tenou..kun.." Suddenly she remembered, looking down at her clothing, looking over at the dying fire, her cheeks flushed. How bold they both had been, but she supposed it couldn' t have been helped. So where was she now? Michiru's eyes scanned the room, adjusted enough so that she didn't have to move her way around anymore by feel. She stood in front of the mantle, old photographs greeted her, offering to fill in the missing pieces. She reached for one, her hand brushing a spiders web. She ignored the creepy crawly sensation as it brushed her fingers, her curiosity being more then her fear as she held the picture. A young girl with shoulder length blonde hair, in a girl school uniform, glanced back at her with a make shift smile. Smoldering jade eyes touched her most, reminding her of a pacing agitated tiger, wanting free. Michiru replaced the picture and took down another. A much happier Haruka now, hair cropped short in a track uniform her arms wrapped around a young girl with long red hair and a bright smile. Michiru felt something like a bubbling sensation within her, a warm raging fire, as she looked at the girl and then Haruka's eyes. She had never seen that smile adorn Haruka's face, and wished it could have been her who made her so happy. She replaced the picture and avoided the overwhelming sensation to leave it face down. Finally her eyes settled on a painted portrait above the mantle. A handsome married couple looked down at her, obviously loaded, and a little girl stood at their feet a smudge of dirt on her cheek and her dress. Michiru smiled a little.

Her little mystery solved, Michiru then allowed her mind to progress pass fear, and realize in all her distraction why she had woken at all. Bathroom. Where was the bathroom? She walked, the hallway light like a beacon. She smiled a little realizing Haruka must have left it on for her. Well, it was almost ten thirty, by now Haruka must be sleeping, for the house was quiet save the noises old houses make and Michiru didn't want to disturb her. Shed just have to find the bathroom herself.

The huge house at nighttime was eerie, and the floor boards creaked under her weight. The surf outside, mixed with the wind, sounded like howling and she wondered how anyone could sleep upstairs at all. Along the way she tugged off her sweater, feeling a bit better. She hung in on a doorknob, vowing to pick it up on the way back down. Standing in the hallway, three doors greeted her. One was on the left, and she peered into it, seeing a room with an unoccupied bed. The one in the middle was shut, and she guessed that's where Haruka was sleeping. The room on the right, she guessed was Haruka's old childhood room. She felt like a spy looking at such intimate and personal details of her childhood and adolescence but she couldn't help a small look inside. Her heart beat was fast and light, as if she were ready to turn and run at any moment. Although if she were caught wandering the halls, she had a legitimate reason. And boy was it making its self obvious. Michiru frowned a bit looking for more stairs or another door wondering where the bathroom was. Surely there was a bathroom? Her hand tightened on the knob that her sweater hung on and she realized. Ah, this must be the door, although it was the size of a closet door. Michiru carefully opened it and stood there puzzled. How weird. There were towels and bathroom supplies on shelves on either side, and in front of her was an outline of another door. She could barely make it out, but she heard the unmistakable drip of a stubborn sink faucet and at that point really needed to go. So she walked in and reached out gripping the door handle, and with a small push she opened the door. She barely had time to register the escaping of steam, or the scent of masculine bath supplies until it was too late.

With a bump to the bare butt, Haruka yelled startled and jumped back, looking to a very surprised and wide eyed Michiru.

(Finally! I was so sick of looking at this chapter.. now I can finally move on with what I did have planned XD Aren't I cruel leaving it here? It seemed like a good cliff hanger. Stay tuned, next chapter coming soon!)


	7. Give it time

**Authors notes:**  
Surviving only on stale captain crunch, the jobless artist writes on! (Or something more or less dramatic and captivating. ) Wow I got like 6 reviews already. Thanks everyone! Email me sometime, I'd love to talk  
Thanks to 'Telling fortunes by tea leaves' by cicely Kent, 1922 (dont know how to paste the website, look it up, its great ) for all the info I needed for this chapter! And to the beautiful music of Xenosaga Ep II for inspiration…  
Edit: we went to star bucks and got muffins and chai to celebrate my new chapters, yay! (2 tall skinny chai's with whip and cinnamon to be exact) And I felt very authorish because I was writing notes for the chapter after this chapter on a napkin.

This is only part one, part two will be coming soon, based on reasons I cannot give away until you read it. :mysterious smile:

Edit: I feel so sad I decided it was time for this chapter, even though part two isn't done, and I cant even concentrate on anything, but sleeping. (I don't even want to draw or write now, damn ;;) My financial aid wont go through till September at least, and tuition is 4,000 dollars because I'm considered an out of state student. I'm so frustrated because I cant find the forms online to apply to be in state(I've been here a year) so it looks like I wont be going. But enough about my life.

I tried to read some fan fiction to make me feel better, but I cant find any good ones. I should have looked up Saun. Have you checked her out? Anyway, hope your life is going better then mine.

Arigato as always, enjoy.

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**Give it time and sip slowly**** : Part I**

Haruka had been brushing her teeth, clad in only dripping water, when the closet door came open and bumped her on the butt. Startled Haruka moved back and looked up into the widen eyes of her house guest.

"K..Kaiousan!" Haruka gasped around her toothbrush, nearly dropping it onto the floor in surprise. She didn't even know that door was there, or fathomed where it lead to. Michiru opened and closed her mouth a few times her face flushing. There Haruka was, as bare as the day she was born, right in front of her. Water clung and rolled down her sun kissed body, hugging along all the curves and lines which had been hidden under the men's attire all this time, strong athletic legs and muscles which made her knees begin to turn into jelly as she looked. She couldn't help it, I mean it was right in front of her. She gripped the door handle so hard her knuckles began to turn white. Gorgeous could hardly begin to describe. Michiru felt as though she couldn't breathe.

"Oh my god.. I'm so sorry.." Michiru gulped and backed out of the door, her mind reeling and her pulse flying. Wow. Just wow.

Haruka stammered and blinked, starting after her. "Kaiou san! Wait!" She threw her toothbrush down, wiping her mouth.

'Shigmata!' She scowled turning back to grab her towel off the bed and hastily wrapped it around herself. How could she be so stupid? Why hadn't she thought of this before, of course there was another door in! This was the only bathroom in the whole house. She felt like a perverted jerk, who once again proved herself to be selfish and un thoughtful.

"Michiru san, please, It's alright. I shouldn't have stayed so long in there." Haruka took the steps two at a time trying to catch up to Michiru.

"I'm so used to living alone, I should have locked the door. This house is new to me too in ways, I didn't know. Gomen nasai." She halted suddenly as Michiru stopped, and stood behind her on the stairs, breathing quickly. Her pulse was racing a bit as well. It seemed around this girl she couldn't keep her cool as well as she would have liked to. But then this constant feeling of exposure and fluster was beginning to become habit around her. Haruka didn't know if she liked the feeling or hated it, but it made her pulse race and her breathing fast, just like if she had run a million miles. It made her on edge and constantly on the rebound just like she were in mid of the fastest dangerous race she ever had been in. And always at the end of a race, or a run, there was the promise of sweet reward and victory, the rush of endorphins, that ecstasy she always felt after..

She need not to mention the different type of ecstasy this new metaphor would mean. That small little fire in her belly grew a bit as she realized these things. Only now it was mixing with the feeling of a dull ache deep in her chest. If she had to place it with words, the only one she could come up with would be longing.

She mustn't think of Michiru like that, because racing and running were like her life lines besides the freedom of her car.. and if she associated Michiru with those things.. if she thought about the young woman in the passenger seat, with her beautiful hair painting the wind in wisps and waves as they cruised, zooming down the highway..

Dangerous.

This was dangerous territory.

Michiru froze on the stairs, breathing fast, her heart hammering in her chest. He knees still felt like jelly and she felt so shaken up and vulnerable like her body was made of fragments of cloth. She was unweaving and loosening at every second, being reduced to bare threads. She could feel the warmth of Haruka's body, like a furnace radiating heat so close she could sense it. Her skin burned for it. Haruka so close, and so exposed right behind her. If she had wanted she could turn and press herself against her, loose herself within her scent.

So easy. So forbidden. Doushite?

To both of their horror Michiru began to laugh. She couldn't contain it. Sliding to her knees, Michiru sat on the last step and began to both laugh and sob at the same time. Laughing at herself and the situation, at her own tears, and then crying at the embarrassment, the unbelievable, the emotional roller coaster. It had been a long trying day, she just needed it to end. And yet she couldn't let it end, because then Haruka wouldn't be around her. This was the first time in months she was actually there, around her so long. She didn't want it to end. Haruka was horrified and in bewilderment nearly dropped her towel again. She quickly joined her side knowing at least to be concerned.

"Michiru san, Onegai, don't cry.." Haruka never experienced this from someone else, but felt a similar emotion a few times in her life caused from mainly frustration too great for her cures of driving or running. When Morgan had left, she was faced with the desire to scream in rage, and sob in loss.

She couldn't help that it was her nature to observe emotion, try to place it neatly into a container and store it away until a later time when she was ready for it. There was no later with Michiru. Haruka ended up having at least three different figurative containers whenever she dealt with her. But water was slippery and elusive, Haruka found it hard to keep her hands dry. And although her mind thought better, her feelings compelled her otherwise as she reached out and brought Michiru tightly against her. They both held their breath. Michiru's laughing and her crying eased nearly instantly, too surprised to be continued. The tears left mere hot streaks on her cheeks.

"I know you must think this is some sort of nightmare, but I promise when morning comes, I'll take you home. You'll never have to see me again, like this never happened."

Haruka said softly into her hair, a undertone of remorse in her whisper.

Michiru wanted to scream at her, to hit her chest in boiling anger and despair. How aggravating! Didn't she understand yet? How could Michiru possibly forget any of this? Haruka's arms around her, her scent, how damp and warm her skin felt just now. Her breath in her hair? How could she possibly want to leave, and never see her again?

Michiru stayed silent and motionless in Haruka's arms, trying to figure out what to say or do. She shivered lightly with emotion, letting her head rest on Haruka's shoulder.

"No." She felt Haruka's body tense and then relax. "I..I've been waiting for months to talk to you…If its alright, I'd like to stay…" Michiru let out a shaky sigh.

"I guess under these circumstances, there's no way we could ever be friends now."

Haruka sat there shocked, her eyebrow arched in mild confusion. How could she possibly want to even still be around her.

"I don't see…why not." Haruka smiled a little looking down into Michiru's face. She couldn't say no, and crush her like that. She found it hard to say no at all. Perhaps it was fatigue.

"But we better sleep on it first. There's a lot that needs to be said…and...its getting late."

Michiru took it as a copout but realized Haruka was probably right. She nodded, and Haruka let go. They both stood, Haruka being almost a full head taller then Michiru.

"Oyasumi,"

"Oyasumi Nasai, Michiru san."

Michiru smiled a little and turned walking back to the sofa. She looked back; there was that mischievous smile again.

"You'd better get dressed and out of that wet towel, or I'll be the one taking care of you."

Haruka stood there on the steps a moment, before walking back upstairs, the shadows seeing her smile in return. With a soft clicking noise, she went into the master bedroom again, pulling on her closest thing to pajamas; her work out pants and tank top. Finally, with an exhausted sigh, she fell face first onto the bed.

What a day.

"What a night.." Michiru muttered, her palm into her face. She waited until she didn't hear Haruka stirring anymore, and crept up the stairs again, finally using the bathroom. She didn't stay long to admire the lovely characteristics of the room, although she vowed when she had more time she would do so. She exited the bathroom via the closet door, glancing once at Haruka's door. As she returned down the creepy, creaky stairs again she missed Monsieur and hoped someone had fed him that day. She wondered if he missed her as well. She wondered what kind of melody Lady Anigusta was playing, and suddenly with a throb she missed the quiet security of the Alley. She missed Lady Anigusta wisdom, and vowed to have another tea gathering when she returned. Although her perception of the alley was shaken by the appearance of those boys from her past, she still couldn't deny the place for it in her heart. How on earth did they find her? Was it her parents who told them? They never believed her when she tried to tell them how bad they were, no one wanted to believe such 'nice, smart boys' could be so terrible. Michiru loved her house, and ocean surf, but she couldn't stand the snotty attitude of her town or neighbors. She thought sometimes her parents were glad when she left, so that the rumors could stop spreading.

Michiru sat on the couch again, pulling her knees up to her chest and embracing them. She mulled over the events of that night, emotion upon emotion, layering them. Much like a brush armed once and again with every color of the spectrum, it became muddied and blurred together after awhile. Just one of many pieces life creates.

--------------------

Somewhere an old vinyl record cracked and popped, spinning uselessly on the player. Around and around, one segment of the song warped and replayed again, stuck. It was an eerie sound.

The room had many clocks varying in sizes, but there was one massive antique grandfather clock from Germany. And many tiny musical boxes, riddled with bangles and pearls and all sort of glittering thing imaginable. A framed picture sat by some opera gloves and binoculars. A happy couple stared out into the abyss. The open closet was full of intricate costumes and dresses. A white and black feather shawl was curled into a pile where it had settled during the last decade.

There in a tan wicker chair near the window sat Lady Anigusta, eyes closed, head back. Letters as delicate as worn lace strewn on the little table beside her. A box of untouched petit fours -tiny little delicate cakes the size of chocolate pieces- sat unopened as if waiting for a tea guest who was late. It had been raining all after noon, the rain was like a natural lullaby. From her chair she could see always after a rain, how heavy and full the roses drooped brimming with water. And the grass glittered as though strewn with diamonds. But tonight the alley was thick and swirled with damp, chilling mist.

Something was pawing at the closed balcony door, yowling. For awhile the door rattled as though from the wind, until the piercing glaze of the glowing jade eyes woke Lady Anigusta. She sat up seeing Monsieur, his fur fluffed out from fear of the still rumbling thunder, making him look half as big as he already was. Within a moment she got up, and carefully lifting the needle from the record, the noise stopped. "There there now, I'm coming." She gripped the handles and tugged it open enough for the cat to fit inside.

"Why, my poor gentleman, what brings you in such dire weather?" She cooed to the cat as he streaked in, and began to clean himself indignantly.

"Where is Michiru, Monsieur? Why are you not keeping her company tonight?"

The cat looked up at her intelligently and meowed walking over to his porcelain dish, which had been empty since Michiru usually fed him.

"Come to think of it, I did not hear her violin today...or the ruffling of her sketch pad, nor her feet on the stairs since this morning." Monsieur meowed miserably, sulking.

"Did she never make it home?"

Lady Anigusta continued the conversation worried, and glanced out the window, checking to see if the lights were out. There was not a clue she could gather to where Michiru was.

"Monsieur, I'm terribly worried...It's not like her to be out so late." Lady sighed getting out a can of tuna, and giving it, juice and all to Monsieur, who waited patiently but intriguingly swishing his tail. Tuna was his favorite, and Michiru always concerned about his kitty teeth always gave him crunches. Monsieur didn't know why that should matter, but knew he loved tuna and cream. Lady spoiled him like a grandmother would a child.

"Let me see now…Ah, I'll consult the leaves!" Monsieur looked up at her licking his whiskers.

"Don't be absurd my good man, I am most confident in my tea reading! Police? Bah!"

Monsieur returned to his tuna, delicately licking the juice as though he was careful not to make a mess.

Lady Anigusta gathered her necessary equipment. She reached on tip toe to extract a very particular cup and saucer, which was white and much wider then her other tea cups. Cradling it in her hands, Lady pushed back the light blue lace patterned table clothe from that mornings tea party. An oak surface gleamed back at her. It was best if there was no distracting pattern on the surface of the table, otherwise it would jeopardize the reading. It was the same with a narrow cup.

Shuffling off again Lady Anigusta fetched her tea pot and filled it with water. She waited there pulling down a small tin container of special leaves. The grandfather clock chimed quarter till twelve, midnight. Lady's eyes widened and she nodded, this must be significant. She hurried with the kettle over to the table, stopping to rest a moment. Such a heavy thing it was. Sometime she needed to buy something smaller. A slight tingling numbness began to keep up through her right leg. No matter, ah, there. She poured the tea and sat, concentrating on its sweet smell and the message she wanted to know, as she sipped. Monsieur was watching her, his tuna seemingly forgotten, his jade eyes glowing knowingly. He walked over and hopped up on his chair, meowing once softly.

"Now, Monsieur, now it is time." With about a teaspoon full left in the base of the cup, Lady Anigusta picked it up with her left hand. Her fingers trembled a bit as she gripped its frail edges, and swirled it three times in the left direction. She looked at Monsieur, with a wink and then very carefully, slowly, she eased the cup over onto its saucer, as if her own fate would be in those leaves. She gave it a moment, letting the liquid drain from the leaves and puddle on the outside rim. Her breathing rattled a bit in her chest, as she chuckled alittle excitedly.

"Now, let us hope it is good news, eh Monsieur? Michiru…is like a daughter to me." Her face wrinkled into a soft smile as she lifted the cup away from the saucer and peered down into its walls. The leaves stuck where the water left them, giving away answers.

"Lets see…There's some close to the handle, so these are current events presently.. And what else.. a clear bottom, meaning she is abroad near water, likely the shore.."

Her eyes peered closer as she turned the cup. "An 'h' now that's interesting.."

Monsieur laid one fluffy paw on the arm rest, stretching his body to sniff the little pool of water left in the saucer. His whiskers tickled her forearm as he searched hoping that there would be some crème up there for him. He eased back down disappointed and almost seemed to pout. He meowed muttering like.

".. a star and a crescent moon.. That means Joy…a daffodil, meaning a long desire found…and...a hyacinth…love."

Lady Anigusta sat back in her chair wiping her brow smiling.

"Must be...At the shore...Now, they are both happy and in love." Lady's eyes misted over as the cup slid from her fingers and rolled on the surface on the table. She didn't seem to notice, she wished the numbness would stop it crawling ascend.

Oh but love! Her Michiru, in love, at last! She cried, large tears rolling down her cheeks. At last, they were both...

It was midnight. The leaves from the fall had shifted in the cup, forming different objects and answering different questions. It was now no longer heart break that Lady Anigusta feared. A black cross was clear now which meant misfortune, a loss. And it was at the rim of the cup, meaning it would be sometime very soon. And there was a small curled leaf like an arrow pointed to an 'm' at the bottom of the cup. Putting it all together these symbols indicated that a message associated with the loss, wouldn't be received by someone named 'm' until later.

Anigusta stopped looking at the cup, and seemed to be in a whole another place. Her bright blue eyes seemed clouded. Monsieur meowed scooting closer to her side, his jade eyes glowing, frantically he began to paw at her arm.

"Ah, Monsieur...I know, you want cream don't you?.. Just a minute...My good…fellow."

Lady let out a shuttering breath, her head lolled, a smile on her face. A bit of drool clung to the corner of her mouth. She wanted to brush it away, but it seemed the numbness crept up her arm now, freezing her movement.

The wind rattled the shutters of the old house as she stared out to the dark black tree tops, watching them shift in the wind.

"Monsieur ..I'm dying, aren't I? . . But I have never felt so happy." Anigusta tried to smile, the left side of her mouth quirking. "Finally, I am free of her." She breathed deeply, closing her eyes, her breathing so ragged now.

"Together…they shall...mend…our...dreams…Micheal." She laughed so softly, letting her mind and body relax. "I forgive you.."

Her body fell limp. Her right hand slipping over the edge of the chair. A charm bracelet slipped free from its clasp, and off her wrist slid onto the floor with a light tinkling sound. Lilies carved from ivory and mother of pearl crumpled in a pile on the bracelet, and one center charm, gleamed in the dim lamp light. It read:

"Love always -Myia."

Monsieur watched her for a long time, eventually settling down and folding his paws under his chest. His eyes glowed in the darkness as he waited, never letting them sink closed. He yowled softly, as though trying to direct a lost friend for a moment longer until they would disappear off into the night.

----------------

Dawn came slowly. Wind rustled the sheer curtains and carried with it the sea breeze and the smell of wild flowers. Michiru, away from the alley, had no sense of time or consequence besides what being at this beach house created. But for now, the newly awakened stirred and smiled a little, opening her eyes. She sat up surprised, looking around. 'Oh...that's right..' She wasn't home. She glanced out the window, the twinkling crests of the ocean's surf winked at her from the newly risen sun. Michiru turned her eyes away and to the fireplace in front of her. The embers dully showed.

Then, the memories of last night came drifting back to her, like wreckage brought in from the shores.

She picked over them, observing from a distance in her mind, their meaning and significance. A red creeping of color moved across her cheeks and down her neck. Haruka. Haruka in nothing but water droplets, with steam curling around her ankles. Those bright jade green eyes surprised, glittering. Michiru moved the pillow to her face, wincing as she replayed herself staring, backing out, apologizing; Haruka groping for her towel on the bed, and both never noticing how the bathroom had been connected as one.

Michiru had a hard time falling asleep after that. Her mind had been racing; pleased, shocked, delighted, embarrassed and on and on it warred in her head. She wondered if Haruka would even be in the house now, or if Michiru was to let herself out. She pulled the pillow off and the thin blanket deciding she should leave before anything else could happen. A soft noise made her freeze. She looked over at the over stuffed armchair and slouching in it with her hand on her cheek was Haruka snoring softly.

Michiru blinked, took in the box of muffins on the table and the two chai's sitting in a carrier. Had Haruka been sitting here waiting for her to wake up? Had she done all this for her? Michiru tried to find her voice, instead her eyes took up the slack, and noticed how the material wrinkled against Haruka's body, how her lip twitched in her sleep.

Michiru sat again pondering what she should do. A moment later she slowly reached out taking Haruka's hand and squeezed it a bit. Haruka sat awake with an out gust of breath, and blinked, looking at Michiru as if she was put on the spot and everything she had been playing through in her head in dreams went out with her sleeping conscious.

"Michiru san…You're awake." She yawned a bit and squinted at her watch. How long had she been sleeping?

"Hai…Anou...I'm sorry if I kept you…waiting...you should have woke me.." Somehow Michiru thought Haruka had been waiting just for this moment.

"No, you needed your rest. I just couldn't sleep so I went out and got breakfast." Haruka smiled and opened the lid of the 'café Luna' pastry box which words were scrolled in loopy letters across the top in pale blue. "Do you think you could eat something? You don't know how long I waited in line for these.. There seemed to be some sort of a commotion going on in town, must be something to do with the festival."

Michiru nodded a little, figuring as much. She wasn't particularly hungry, but muffins were her favorite and she wondered how Haruka knew. She smiled tipping her head to the cups of chai, as she accepted a blueberry muffin with crumble topping.

"And those?"

"I hope they're still warm. I'm sorry I fell asleep like that…Here. It's the least I can do, Michiru. Please accept." Haruka didn't met her eyes, as she handed her the cup. Instead she sipped her own and held it between her hands.

"You don't need to apologize …I.."

"No, I was…completely out of line yesterday." Haruka stood standing by the window looking out at the water. Confessions, she hated them.

"I didn't think of anyone but myself...And it's because of me, you're here right now."

"Its…okay. I understand.." Michiru carefully picked off a chunk of the crumble topping although the conversation more or less was taking her appetite.

"I'm glad I'm here.." Michiru plunged onward blushing a little.

"I don't think anyone...in...in your position would have acted differently.."

Haruka's eyes watched transfixed out on the shoreline, she shook her head a little.

"No, I acted as though you were trying to listen-"

"I more or less…was...Tenou kun…Granted I was in the wrong place at the wrong time...but.." Michiru's cheeks pricked with red, she broke off another piece keeping her hands busy. She felt Haruka's eyes return to her as she said this.

"Why…I don't even know you.. Do I?.." Haruka sat down again, some wisps of hair falling over her eyes. She seemed to be pouting, a riddle she didn't know the answer to, a question she couldn't figure out. And Haruka was the master of riddles, but Michiru was the master of illusion, like the sea. Evenly matched, for even players.

"Do I, Michiru?" It was the first time Haruka said her name like that, so tenderly. Michiru forgot to breathe.

"I…I've dreamed about you…for so...for so long.. I don't know what they mean…" Michiru saw Lady Anigusta in her mind, remembering her lost love. She knew that she would want Michiru to tell Haruka out loud. She could almost feel her, sitting beside her, squeezing her hand for courage. Michiru rubbed the goose bumps from her arm.

"I think we do know each other…from long ago."

_Not yet Haruka_. Michiru wanted to tell her about Lady Anigusta, what she had told her, but she decided to wait when things were less tense. There was no need to open another can of worms, she hoped she could wait till the time was right.

Haruka bit her lip and slouched back in her chair, trying to piece it together. Michiru felt stupid being the only one eating. "Won't you eat something too?"

Haruka looked over at the muffins and picked out a scone for herself, smiling a little.

"I'm not big on muffins." Michiru looked a little amused and surprised.

"Then why did you get so many?" Now it was Haruka's turn to look amused and a boyishly shy. It was adorable.

"Anou…I didn't know which kind you liked best…so I bought one of each." Michiru smiled laughing. "Jason could only remember so much you see…"

"Ah ha! Now, who is the spy? Haruka, all you had to do was ask." Haruka was warmed through to the core, she liked how her name sounded in Michiru's musical voice.

"What do you say, we eat outside and get out of this musty air for awhile?" She walked over to the back door in the kitchen and opened it. A seascape could be heard roaring softly in the distance. Something deep inside Michiru stirred, it felt warm and tingly, like she had done this before, or felt this before. She never wanted to forget it.

"Alright, that sounds wonderful." She smiled standing and brought the blanket from last night with her, so they could sit on the sand. Haruka bought the breakfast, and the two walked out into the early mornings sunlight. Michiru was glad the morning was kind of chilly despite the warm sun, because of her clothes. She vowed to take a shower and dress properly later, assuming there would be a later. But for now, she was content.

They spent a good chunk of the morning like that, eating pastries and sipping chai, un aware of UV rays, or the sadness of death.

--------------

The door had opened that morning, it was quarter till nine. Sunlight was strewn across the floor in fragments like shattered glass, as the sun made its slow climb up into the sky. The manager of 'café Luna' stood in the doorway. Her elderly aunt was the owner of the shop, she just handled the inner ticking's while her Aunt was the respected face of 'Café Luna'. Her Aunt had been friends with Lady Anigusta since they both had moved to the alley, and usually on Sunday mornings they would call each other and share information of that week. Her Aunt was specially eager to hear further about the young tenant who also worked at the café. Her talent and air brought smiles to their faces and reminded each other so much of their long spent youth. And since Lady Anigusta never ventured out of her room since that past year or so, she never missed a call.

The woman who stood in the doorway, took in the scene, somberly. Her deep red eyes, the color of garnet, were dark, knowing already what had happened; unable to stop the hand of time. Although she was used to scenes like this one, it still hurt. She walked in slowly trying not to disturb the last clinging presence of the woman's life. It was only fair to keep it preserved for as long as possible. All of that would come later, when the paramedics arrived. Strangers in once a territory for friends and loved ones. Her deep green hair picked up the beams of light as she stood in front of the table, still strewn with tea leaves and porcelain.

The woman sighed softly, pressing her hands together as she said a small pair of remembrance and respect, her chest laden. She realized that if it were not the miscalculated events of those boys here, Michiru would have said goodbye. Because she couldn't intervene, Michiru and Haruka would once again know great loss. Her eyes opened glittering with tears, although she didn't cry. The cat who sat still at his post, like a solider in duty, opened his eyes, finally in the middle of the night no longer able to keep them open. He stood, reluctant to take his eyes off his former mistress.

"Monsieur, Its alright now. You're duty is done. Arigato, for watching over Michiru for me all this time. And Lady Anigusta, too. Do not be sad, she is in a happier place now."

Monsieur slowly tipped his angular face into her hand and nudged, purring softly. She scooped him up and carried him down stairs.

The whole town seemed to freeze in respect, vigils were held as the news crept along the ground like Ivy winding slowly through grass and gardens. It was as though a beacon had gone out, a steady breath, the very soul of the Alley. Piano students, past and present gathered and sang with candles, their light piercing through the early morning mist like orbs of light; scattered like fire flies. Lilies were being passed out, donated from the local flower shop. The café manager stood in the doorway of the café, Monsieur still in her arms, as she watched. All eyes were up on the third floor window, glossed over from streams of tears.

By then however, the flashy sports car had already been on its way along route sixty six, unaware that fate was about to rap further at her door.


	8. Sip Slowly

**Disclaimers:**  
I do not own the song "Drifting" by Sarah McLachlan nor "Stars" by Tatu. I'm just borrowing them.

**Authors notes:**  
My head is like alphabet soup...all the words are all rattling around in there. Must take a break.. ;-;  
Sorry for dropping such a huge plot bomb in part one… It seemed right, although I cried writing it.. Did we all guess who the mysterious woman with the green hair was? Surprised? Me too, but I think it fits. You'll see more why later.. at least you will unless I forget what I'm doing. But hopefully if I pull it off, then it will be the _possibility_ of sequel material Hey I had everyone's best interests at heart n.n

Anyway, I'm not sure if some of the revealing things are in this one or the next one.. Regardless I think you all will like it & I want to know what you all think :heart:**  
Warning: **some language in this chappy, but nothing you haven't seen before. Oo  
**Edit: **Don't know if I'll ever finish this:Michiru glares at her: shut up you, your life is perfect. ; oh maybe it'll cheer me up….Yosh?

Ps. Ningyo and Keshou both mean mermaid, but Ningyo are the more violent ones, that eat human flesh I believe, and Keshou are the helpful mermaids, although both are mischievous and tempting.  
And as always any references to time and places are altered for this story for the most part.

---------------------

**Give it time and sip slowly**** : Part II**

They spent the early morning on the beach, and Michiru ate way too much but Haruka didn't seem to mind. It had been nearly noon when Michiru had the blanket and began to shake it out. Luckily the wind wasn't as bad as usual because this was the hardest part when the wind blew.

"Ready to go in already?" Haruka asked smiling, her arms crossed and head cocked as she watched from somewhere beside her. Michiru turned to give her a side glance.  
"You look almost disappointed." Michiru teased. "If I didn't know any better, Id say you really did like company; deep down." Haruka blushed a little and shrugged.  
"It beats fighting with the water all day long, by myself." Haruka said softly staring out into the sea.

It was now Michiru's turn to look surprised. "What do you mean?" She stood beside Haruka the wind beginning to lift at her hair and make it float.  
"I don't know... It just.. seems to know something I don't. And that bothers me."

Michiru stepped closer to the surf, the water came in and rolled over the sand consuming everything in its path, threateningly close. Haruka reached out and took her hand, wind rustling between them and blowing Michiru's hair around her face. Her hand was the only link to the shoreline, Michiru had felt so compelled to continue out.

"Don't get too close, this tide has a horrible under toe. I don't want to be accused as murder as well, Michiru." Haruka was teasing but the look in her eyes made Michiru giggle.  
"You know, back where I came from, I was called a mermaid." Haruka raised her brows.  
"Eh, is that so? Where is home anyway?" Michiru turned and smiled.  
"My home is and will forever be the ocean, Haruka. That's all that matters." She eased out of Haruka's grasp and knelt, plucking a perfectly smooth shell out of the surf as it tumbled listlessly in the foamy current. Haruka was suddenly reminded of some lyrics she heard a while ago. It seemed so perfect, and so sad.

"_Somewhere, there's people who love you.  
And they're ready for you to come home.  
Please come home."_

"Here, you should keep this." Michiru winked at her mysteriously. "You might need it someday."

Haruka reached out and touched it, risking the chance to brush Michiru's palm with her fingertips. "Sou ka?"

"Mermaids. Ever since I was a little girl, I believed that when you toss a clam shell into the water, it is a secret prayer like a summoning." Michiru's eyes were somewhere else, somewhere happy. Haruka closed her hand around Michiru's the shell in between, and raised another hand to push a stray curl behind her ear.

"I'll keep that in mind, Ningyo." And their eyes met. Michiru blushed and smiled nodding.

By her choice of nickname, Michiru wondered if Haruka realized what she just let slip out about her feelings toward her; As though Haruka didn't fully trust her yet. Well perhaps Michiru took it too literally. No one had called her by that nickname for a long time.

"Well, I wanted to take a shower...If that's alright ?" Michiru said her heart fluttering so quickly in her chest. Haruka nodded. "You should find plenty of supplies in the bathroom, I got boat loads of bath stuff."  
Michiru smiled, "I'll be right out." Her figure made its retreat back into the beach house. Haruka tried to look away but couldn't until finally she disappeared behind the screen door. Haruka looked down at the perfect little clam shell in her palm, no bigger then an inch.

"Ningyo or Keshou? You are a mystery, Michiru." Haruka wished that all too familiar fluttering in her heart, that deep dull aching would ease. She glanced at her watch, the wind musing her hair and flipping the ends of her shirt across her back teasing her. She had at least ten minutes, a quick run would clear her head.

"Okay, you're on!" The wind rushed against her back once accepting, then against her, threatening. Haruka squinted, as she knelt as if at a track meet. "Sate!"

Haruka tore off down the beach, and the wind accepting defeat, joined her. The only noise in her ears was the rushing gusts.

--------

Michiru took her time despite herself. She explored the room that Haruka always locked herself up in at night. She touched her pillow case, she picked up her fallen shirts and laid them into a neat pile. She found the tiny bottle of cologne and pressed it to her cheek, unable to keep herself from smiling as its scent reached her nose. Finally she decided to get back on track and went into the bathroom that had caused so much commotion just… only one night ago? It seemed a longer then that, but she did learn something from the experience and locked the door this time. Michiru figured out how to turn on the water -a little apprehensively- as the pipes creaked and made pretty horrific noises at first.  
As the water heated she looked through the bag of things Haruka brought for bathing. All of the manly stuff had been picked out which suited Michiru just fine. Along with eye shadow Michiru had an uncanny habit of collecting nice smelling things, mostly body sprays and shampoos. She did not resist temptation now. Armed with about two different types of shampoo or body gel, she decided not to decide about one in particular and got into the shower.

About twenty minutes later, Michiru emerged and began to pat her body dry with one of the fluffy towels she found in the closet. Letting it around her shoulders so it could be a guard against her wet hair, she looked for something to replace the winter clothes Haruka had dressed her in. She didn't think of this possibility until now, putting on her under garments again. But she had already kept Haruka waiting so long, she had to find something. Peeking through the drawers and closets Michiru found what she had instinctively been searching for. It was as white as a pearl, and flared out just below the knees. Michiru slipped on the sundress, as new as the day it was bought perhaps only worn a few times. Her heart beat quickly as she felt a sort of excited guilt putting on and looking through someone else's things. Hopefully Haruka wouldn't mind as it was just laying there anyway. She slid it up along her hips and over her chest, finally securing the straps with a small bow behind her neck. It hugged her frame in all the right places, Michiru was pleased. She dug out some white sandals, although while on the beach shed likely go barefoot. Then Michiru did something with her drippy hair and twisted it into a loose roll along her head, securing it with a mother of pearl clasp she found in a cherry wood box on the dresser.

Now that she had the essentials, she should leave. But all the glittering rhinestones and pearls tempted her from the open jewelry box. Michiru slowly slid out a strand of creamy colored pearls, it ending with its tiny gold antique clasp. In the middle there was an aquamarine diamond shaped stone as big as her thumbnail. She couldn't help but be in awe over it and clasped it around her neck admiringly. It hung at the side of her throat, the gem just inside the tiny hallow of where her shoulder met her neck.

It looked very classy.

At last, plucking out matching pearl earrings that dangled perfectly in her ears, she flew down the stairs holding her shoes. She never felt so pretty or mature and knew shed never be able to afford such fine jewelry, so that she should enjoy it.  
Before she went back out, she found her purse which she had luckily with her that night. Digging out lip gloss and eye shadow, she put on just enough not wanting to look like she was trying too hard, and yet so she didn't look too much like death wormed over.

Replacing her things, Michiru put on her best smile and crept out the kitchens back door again. She walked back out slowly, letting each footstep sink into the sun warmed sand only to find no Haruka waiting for her. Looking up and down the beach, Michiru deflated slightly, feeling sorry she went to such trouble to begin with. Her eyes turned seaward. Lifting the hem of her skirt, Michiru let the surf kiss her ankles. She was picturing in her mind's eye how she must look and imagined she were older successful woman. And this was her home, and in this dress she was a beautiful mystery, a rarity on earth.  
The wind tugged free a few small curling wisps and caressed her face as she closed her eyes and stretched her hands toward the warming sun like a water plant in a shallow corral cove. She imagined she was there, not human but part of a bigger whole; an existence without existence. She was aware of how the wind blew the soft sheer folds around her legs, billowing and twirling like the wind was dancing with her. And that she was a tiny dancer, tip toeing through the surf, hoping from one foamy swirl to another. Suddenly she felt strong arms slid around her shoulders from behind, and hold her, like the desperate grip of hands on a kite string. The wind died down, the dance was over or perhaps the conductor intervened their self. Opening her eyes, Michiru stared into Haruka's face too surprised to be embarrassed. Haruka thought Michiru was too beautiful to doubt her actions and so her strong arms stayed.

Michiru seemed almost an illusion just then as if she would have disappeared if Haruka had not touched her.

"I didn't mean to stop you, but you looked so unearthly; so beautiful… I just had to touch you to make sure you were real." Haruka smiled a little, letting her arms loosen and slide away although her body was burning in that troublesome way again.  
"You…really thought so?…"  
"I know so." Haruka offered her arm for Michiru. "I went for a run along the beach, and lost track of time. I hope I didn't keep you waiting for long."

Michiru blushed a little recovering. "No, I was actually afraid you got sick of waiting on me… I hope you don't mind.." She gestured to the dress a little sheepishly.

"No, it looks perfect on you. It was just as I had imagined it.." Haruka thought of her version and didn't mean to say that out loud. Before Michiru could question she gestured toward the shoreline which glittered in the afternoon sun.  
"There's something I want to show you; will you walk with me?" Michiru looped her arm through Haruka's and squeezed it smiling. "Sure. Id love to."

They began at a slow pace. Haruka pointed out all the places she visited as a child, all the stories that went with them. Michiru was particular interested in a tiny cave hidden among the sand dunes. The house was a mere speck on the horizon now.

"I used to play here when I was little." Haruka admitted. "I would never be it because my cousins could never find me here."

Michiru peered inside, much to small to get any closer but she could see the white scrolls and doodles from pebbles and shells against the walls.

"I used to go exploring too, on my beach." Michiru smiled a little almost sadly. Haruka plucked something out of the rolling surf and held it up for inspection. It was a sea glass bottle, tiny in her palm and probably only three inches high. She laid it on a flat rock to collect on the way back.  
"I think the ocean is an untold story, always changing, always presenting itself different for new reasons."  
"That's very poetic." Michiru smiled picking her way over the flat sun warmed rocks like stepping stones.  
"It's true. No matter how many times I walk down here, its always different. I think the sea is showing off for you, Michiru." Haruka smiled giving her a sidelong glance offering her hand as Michiru stepped down into the sand again.

"Well, I told you Haruka. I'm part Mermaid."

They walked a little while longer enjoying the silence of shared company; pointing out things along the way. Like how the tiny clams would dig back into the sand as the tide relentlessly washed them free. Finally there was in the distance a chorus of cheerful music and a large glowing and glittering ring against the sky blue horizon. As it turned, it twinkled to Michiru and Haruka. Laughter could almost be heard over the crashing waves, where the sand melted into a board walk. Condos and food stands spotted the shore line ahead for miles.

"As much of a pain this festival is, it's… almost pretty you know?" Michiru looked surprised; The carnival from a distance did look beautiful. Balloons released from careless children climbed higher into the sky, as the rides made their turns and spins with twinkling lights and chiming noises.  
"Would you like to go? Its been ages since I've been to a carnival.." Haruka almost looked carefree again. Michiru smiled and nodded. "I guess it wouldn't hurt. I'm so surprised anyone even found the festival here, its so far out."

They walked closer, the music becoming more louder and clearer.

"Well as you know, this year it was sponsored by the city. I think it was a ploy to promote the development."  
Some of the crowd was on the beaches ahead swimming, the children chasing each other.  
"Because this used to be run by people in the Alley for years and years. And people from this town from when it was first established in the early twenties."  
Michiru nodded a little, and hoped this place remained untouched for years and years to come, but that seemed unlikely.  
"It must be a tradition that this town holds dear then."

The design of the place was old fashioned and charming. It made Michiru feel like she almost stepped back in time. Music was provided by amplified pipe organs. Screaming and laughing was at its peak now as they stood in line, and roller coasters whooshed by over head. Haruka pointed out some of the older rides that had been there since the park opened; wooden roller coasters, haunted houses that by now were more of a jest for the older kids as the tricks and props seemed way too outdated to be scary. The smell of funnel cakes and popcorn was in the wind, mixed with the smell of the ocean, some how it was comforting. After having bought their tickets, they walked with the crowd into everyone broke off in separate locations.

"Well, do you want to just walk around till something sounds interesting?" Michiru nodded her eyes fixated on the huge Ferris wheel. Haruka smiled and leaned in to tell her quietly that the Ferris wheel is better experienced during the sun set, because the view is breath taking. They kept walking eyeing all the games, promoted with jests and challenges.  
"Step up, step right up!" A man in a clown costume bellowed promoting a water gun game. "Shoot the clowns, win a prize!" Haruka only looked mildly interested.  
"Step up Sir, try your luck, just one token to try!" They did have ten tokens between them. Haruka pocketed eight of the tokens to use later at the Ferris wheel before handing the obnoxious clown her ninth token. "Alright! Folks we have a challenger!" Haruka ducked her head a little smiling embarrassed and caught Michiru's eye, who knew she loved the attention. She then took her place behind the large red counter grabbing a water gun as a crown watched.  
"Alright sir, just aim when you see the clowns. Best of three tries, and five complete hits gives your lucky lady a prize!" Haruka didn't much like the sponsor, their greasy face makeup smelt funny, and his clothes reeked like cigarette smoke. But she tried to concentrate anyway.

"GO!"

Clown faces popped up then, first to her right, then left; She shot with uncanny accuracy. After all she was champion at fast reflexes and video games. The crowd 'ooohed' and 'ahhhed.' The clown was frustrated because the game didn't seem challenging enough, and rightly so. Three rounds, fifteen direct shots and lots of prizes later, Haruka and Michiru sat on a bench. The after noon sun blasted heat against the backs of their heads, but with less bite as before, it would be sunset soon. They sipped iced lemonade slush's and shared popcorn, giving away all but one orange stripped stuffed cat to passing children. They had also gotten extra tokens, and a ticket for a free fortune telling reading. Haruka didn't know if shed bother using the fortune telling ticket, but she did have a plan for the tokens.

"After this, do you want to go to the arcade?" Michiru smiled sipping her drink. "Sure, I wonder if they have air hockey.. I'm a pro."  
"Oh is that right?" Haruka teased letting a handful of popcorn into her mouth. "How about a challenge, Miss Kaiou? Loser buys iced tea later. How about it?"  
"You're on!" Michiru smirked looking over at the fish bowl game. "That's what you should have." Haruka's brows quirked. "Nani?"  
"A fish, silly, to keep you company!" She laughed. Haruka tossed popcorn at her. "I have enough problems with the one I have now." And looked at Michiru teasing back.

Michiru tossed popcorn back smirking. "Well, it looks like fun anyway, can I play?"

They finished their snacks and walked over. Haruka held Michiru's drink as she paid two tokens and received seven rings.  
"Just throw the rings and for every ring that circles the mouth of the cider jugs, you win a gold fish." It was harder then it looked, the rings kept pinging off the sides of the bottle. Disappointed Michiru took back her drink. "Ah well," She sighed.  
"I probably shouldn't have fish anyway, I can barely feed and clothe myself, you know?" Haruka was unfortunately, serious.  
"Come on, lets go hit the arcade. We still have twenty minutes or so before sunset."

The arcade was crowded and games were pinning and chiming in all directions. They both made their way to the air hockey tables. Haruka did the honors and two mallets fell into their slots on either side, readying the game.  
"Alright, do you want me to start off easy Michi-" But the girl already knocked the puck to Haruka's side. Haruka had only a second and knocked the puck away from her goal space, shooting it back to Michiru. This lasted for a long moment, until Michiru scored at last. "Yes!"  
"Hey no fair, I wasn't paying attention!" Haruka protested, retrieving the puck and smacking it back.  
"Who's fault is that!" Michiru laughed.

Haruka decided it was time to really let her have it and a moment later, she scored. This went on back and forth till they were tied, but in the end…

"I won!" Michiru smirked happily. "You owe me an iced tea, Tenou."  
"Yeah, yeah easy shot." They walked out together and looked up at the blinking and twinkling Ferris wheel again. It was just sunset, still bright enough to see plainly, but the sky was a breath taking blaze of gold and red.  
"No better time then now; Let's go Michiru." Giving the tender the rest of their tokens, plus the ones in her pocket, they were set up to stay on for the next three turns. No one really gave count anyway.

Climbing up the stairs, Haruka and Michiru stood and waited for a chair to sweep up behind them and scoop them into it as they sat. It rose higher and higher. The ground soon melted away, and most of the noise leaving only the ever present churning of the surf and the cry of gulls nearby. The sun climbed down the sky; a hunk of orange wax melting into florescent hot puddles that seeped out for miles and miles, making up the ocean waters. Wind teased them both, shaking the car gently, and lifting Michiru's smaller ringlets and curls about her cheeks.

"It's beautiful…"  
"I know… I wanted you to see this.. Its one of my fondest memories."

Michiru leaned a little against Haruka's strong shoulder, feeling the shirts material against her cheek. They must have watched for only a minute but it felt like forever, and finally the wheel finished its cycle.  
The second time, when they again felt like they were on top of the city and the only two people to exist, Haruka looked over at the beauty beside her. She let herself notice how the wind made Michiru's hair float around her face as if she were in water. The sun set colored her skin a red gold hue, and made her eyes sparkle.  
Michiru turned toward Haruka feeling her eyes, and met them with her own. She recalled just then a song lyric which echoed in her mind momentarily like a question, for everyone like her; for everyone like Lady Anigusta.

_Are we in love?  
Do we deserve,  
To bear the shame of this whole world?_

Haruka's eyes seemed to answer her, but with what reply she couldn't be sure.  
The rest of the lyrics continued through her mind.

_And like the night we camouflage,  
Denial._

Haruka's smile turned a bit tender, her eyes seemed to glisten somehow touched from a moment Michiru knew they were sharing but unsure just what exactly it meant. Leaning in, Haruka touched Michiru's hand. She was so close that Michiru could smell her cologne on her skin.

_Are we in love?  
Now for the first time in my life,  
I'm flying._

Haruka lightly brushed her lips against Michiru's cheek.

She had wanted to kiss her, longed to kiss her…

But she couldn't.

Michiru's heart fluttered at the touch, but her lips ached. She wished Haruka had kissed her. She fought with herself, mind over heart, all the reasons why she should kiss her and all the reasons that it made sense not to.  
Finally, Michiru turned her face so that Haruka's lips touched her own, so briefly and softly it felt like butterfly wings.  
It was polite; it was asking. It was a pressing question that would linger between them for the rest of the night.

We're they?

Could they?

The Ferris wheel rode around twice more before the dazed Haruka and Michiru reluctantly stepped off. Regardless of the startling new questions, or maybe because of the moment that caused them, it had been magic captured in time.

-----------

The day was winding closed and Michiru never brought up what she had wanted to say to Haruka.

"Anou… Do you think we could sit somewhere and talk?"  
Haruka wondered why she suddenly seemed so tense but nodded.

"Do you like salt water taffy?" Haruka asked almost randomly.  
"You can't have a serious discussion at the beach without it." Michiru smiled and obliged. The first conversation with Lady Anigusta seemed so far away since then. She vowed she needed to repay her kindness and have another tea session with the old woman. She was like the grandmother she never had, never really knowing her own grand parents.

Finally they both were sitting down just outside of the carnival on a large smooth flat rock, a small box of salt water taffy between them. Haruka picked out three of the orange cream ones and then gave Michiru the okay to begin. Michiru picked up a chocolate cream piece and began to play with the cellophane edges of its wrapper.

"Well.. The reason I had been listening that night to your conversation...was because someone you used to know, someone who I know very well too, asked about you."  
Haruka nearly choked.

"Your name caught my attention right away because it was the name she told me of…" Michiru watched her face wondering if something happened between them that would cause her to shy away from the older woman.  
"Lady Anigusta…She was your old piano teacher… Wasn't she?"

Haruka looked out over the ocean, holding in a long sigh. Michiru thought the woman would never breath again. She played with the taffy wrapper until the edges became tattered between her fingers.

"Hai… She was. She never liked Morgan and so once we got together, I drifted apart from her and this place." Haruka remembered the long piano rehearsals in the woman's musty living room. Pages of throaty deep piano cords that climbed out the window and stretched out for what seemed like miles and crashed like the shoreline in vibrating crescendos.  
"She was the best instructor I ever had." They were shooting off fireworks now as the sun sank lower and lower into the sky.  
"She told me to tell you...that she thinks about you often...and that…" Haruka watched her fingers play with the frayed edges, and took the candy unwrapping it and eating it herself. Michiru didn't seem to notice but she was looking at Haruka now her face intent on relaying this message. "And that…She hopes you make the right decision."

Haruka chewed for another moment before letting out her sigh finally, feeling some weird tensing in her chest. Perhaps it was some sort of grief that all this time she had been avoiding all those close to her, who cared about her, and now it might be too late.

"Its not too late," Michiru pressed somehow knowing, "she thinks about you all the time. She can't stop bragging about you."  
"I know…It's just. I don't know why Morgan hated her so much. She would always tell me things about her when we were dating. I'm not sure what's _what _anymore."  
"Regardless of that now, she's just a lonely old woman wanting company and to share a few smiles. You should go to see her." Haruka lifted her shoulders like a cat who's fur stood a bit on end from being irritated.

She knew Michiru was right, that sooner or later she would have to stop running from all those scars in the past.  
"Yeah I know…" Haruka finally admitted. "I'll go to see her when I'm in town."

Michiru frowned a little trying to remember everything she was told.

"Perhaps Morgan disliked her because…Lady Anigusta had been her mothers lover."

This time Haruka choked.  
"N..Nani?" She coughed looking at Michiru. "Come on now, you're serious?"

"Yes, she told me herself. That you had been engaged with her ex lover's daughter." Haruka looked half humiliated and half bewildered.  
"Now you see why I had to listen… She told me to look out for your name."  
"Can't anyone have any privacy in this town?" Haruka muttered but she looked more like she was trying to figure out why this information was so significant and why she had left it for Michiru to tell her. Perhaps Anigusta had known this would happen all along.  
"Maybe she wanted you to know, to be warned before it was too late." Michiru suggested hoping Haruka would get angry.  
"Well, that would explain a lot actually. I just can't believe it." Now that it was out in the open, Haruka felt something unknot deep in her chest. She actually felt a little better about the situation with her ex fiancé.

Its always easier to heal when you write someone off as insane.

"So Anigusta seems up to her old tricks as ever I see. And how did you come to know her?" Michiru finally took a taffy and had been chewing on it.  
"Well, she's my landlady.. Actually, she owns the building but her niece takes care of the business part of it; also my manager at the café…a very mysterious woman."  
"Ah I see.. You know, if I remember correctly, her niece sometimes would peek out at me during rehearsals." Haruka smiled a bit at the memory. "She seemed a few years older, but her personality was always so serious. I remember she had the darkest eyes like…garnet."  
"That's her. I hardly ever see her; sometimes it seems like she's watching me though.."  
"So then how did you and Anigusta meet?"  
"Her music." Michiru said simply, her eyes casting out over the churning mass of water, becoming a fiery navy blue in the darkening sky. "Have you ever heard it?"  
"Yes...Once. She scolded me for ease dropping on an old woman's love sick woes."

Michiru smiled a little and patted Haruka's arm in mock sympathy.

She figured she was only allowed to listen because the woman in her age needed someone to finally, and since Michiru had reminded Anigusta so much of herself..  
Michiru looked at the stuffed cat in her lap suddenly remembering Monsieur and his wise bright jade eyes. So much a familiar of the distant woman sitting beside her.

"Did you leave yours behind when you moved?" Haruka asked gently, placing the lid on the box. It was getting dark, and she knew they should held back because it was dangerous walking the beaches at night with the rocks and whatever else had been washed up on shore. Michiru took the signal, standing and brushing sand off the dress.  
"Iie.. My parents were allergic…but there's a tomcat at the alley who I love so much. His name is Monsieur." Haruka looked blank for a moment, and then grinned her eyes lighting up.

"Monsieur!.. You mean a really fluffy orange cat? You're joking?" Michiru was so surprised she merely shook her head.

"Monsieur was mine...My parents wouldn't let me keep him.. I had to give him up and Anigusta said she would watch over him." Haruka pretended some sand got into her eye and was rubbing at her face, but Michiru knew better.  
"Yeah.. I found him one day; a tiny fluff ball. Anigusta named him, I didn't much like it but...Wow. I cant believe it. I didn't think she would have kept her promise all this time!"

Haruka finally got the 'sand' out of her eyes and looked at Michiru.

"I haven't seen him in years…" She said mostly to herself quietly.  
"Well he's like the town mayor in the Alley, everyone knows and loves him. He shares my bed every night too; the fluff ball indeed."

Michiru was surprised but highly pleased. It seemed to make sense somehow. Monsieur was so much like Haruka after all and picturing the reunion was almost too cute to bare in her mind.

They stood there a moment thinking and remembering. Then Haruka suddenly remembered the time and where they were.

"Come on, the suns setting. We should head back…Oh yeah I forgot, the iced tea."  
They walked up the stairs and spotted one last stand still open.  
"I'll get us some for the walk…I'll be right back." Haruka walked up the boardwalk a little way and got into line. Michiru looked back towards the water one last time, vowing never to forget this day. Meanwhile, in her distraction, a group of boys who had been standing in the shadows nearby slinked over towards her. The harsh shadows of the dying sun mixed with ride lights until a street lamp finally showed their features.

Michiru didn't notice them, until she felt a sharp pain in her upper arm as she was grabbed. She tried to yell but one of their hands caught her mouth.

No one was around to help.

"Well, well… Look who it is boys. The first lady, all dressed up in her best. My, don't you look important." His breath smelt sweet, unnaturally sweet and his voice was thick from being drunk. Obviously he had vodka in his system.

It was no other then the captain of her high school's football team, Motoki Yukio.  
She wanted to scream but couldn't.

"What're you doing with that guy Michiru? You think he's a prince or something?"  
He sneered.  
Another guy, Yukio's best friend who she recognized as Hiaun, grabbed her around the waist and pinned her backs back so she couldn't get away. She couldn't breathe from Yukio's hand on her mouth.

Michiru bit down on his fingers that had held her voice in, trying to ignore the need to throw up. Where was Haruka? Did they do anything to her? Why wasn't she back yet?

"You stupid bitch!" Yukio swore shaking his bleeding fingers and kicking sand at her. Sand gritted between her teeth, it was the most horrible feeling. Michiru spat trying to get it out of her mouth, some still crunched though. It was the most horrible feeling, and it gave her goose bumps. They were all laughing at all.  
"I'll get the police, Yukio! You cant treat me like this!" Michiru yelled, clenching her fists. Although the possibility was this was a bluff and they knew it; no one would hear hear her this late. "I told you before, I don't like you; I HATE you. Leave me alone!"

He had pure hatred in his eyes.

"You've made a laughing stock 'outta me for the last time, Miss Frost Queen." Michiru glared at him, that was what they called her in junior high.  
"You're going to wish you stayed with mommy and daddy." And he raised his hand to slap her.  
"No! Stop! Let me go!" Michiru struggled against the hands which held her, and touched her. She wanted to be sick, but the will to get away from them made her blood boil, and her heart beat pound in her ears. Her blood rushed in her veins like the surf in a current. If only she had power. If only.. If only that bright bluish light wouldn't glare in her eyes like that.. Maybe then she could do something…

If the boys hadn't have been so wasted to notice that eerie aura, the situation might have been in Michiru's favor. She could have spooked them at least.

A tall figure from behind grabbed Yukio's hand at the last second, and turned it so that his arm was pinned to his back from behind. Haruka had arrived and just in the nick of time. She kept him pinned, nearly breaking his arm with her threatening grip. Hearing Michiru struggle, she threw the cup she had been holding at the guy holding her. Iced tea with lemon splashed right into his face. He let go of Michiru, and wiped at his eyes swearing.

"God dammit! That stings!"

Michiru struggled free and ran to a few paces behind Haruka, breathing hard. She wiped damp sand off her face and spit again.

"Go ahead Michiru, I'll catch up with you." Michiru went to shake her head, looking worried. "Don't worry about me, these boys and I met before." She caught Yukio's other arm as he brought it up to punch her and put it too behind his back. His friends backed off not wanting to take her, but they still gripped their fists and yelled things at her.

"Go get cleaned up; wait for me, okay?"

Michiru nodded and ran off in the opposite direction near the heart of the small beach front town. Where all the food stands stood now like empty shells for the night and the center stage was broad and lonely for the guest singers and bands who played there.

Once she was safely out of sight, Haruka let the kid fall onto the ground. She began to undo the buttons at her wrist and roll up her sleeves. No one, and she meant no one, crossed Haruka Tenou twice. She felt that same rush as with sports or racing. Though she didn't like the brutality of fighting much, she did like the rush of adrenaline, the commands she could ask of her body and how it responded with lightening quick timing. She felt she had due cause now, so she wanted to enjoy it. She liked sparring, she was competitive by nature. Wind whipped through her hair and lashed her clothes around her body, collecting with the force of the waves right behind her. She breathed in air, feeling energized, her muscles on edge. She yearned to fight. Had the boys not been drunk they would have wondered what that gold aura was that shimmered around her body.

Yukio breathed heavily, shaking with anger. He was too drunk to get up right away but while he was attempting, one of the boys from the sidelines rushed in and tried to punch Haruka. She turned and stepped back catching his punch and returned one of her own right to his solar plexus. He doubled over from the wind knocked out of him and staggered back to where the others were standing, less confident than before and looking around nervously. Yukio, on his feet again, curses and gets up. He rushes Haruka and punches her in the eye just as she was turning around. She staggers just a moment before regaining herself and punching him back in the face. A nasty noise and blood on her knuckles confirmed that she had gotten him good. Haruka grimaced a bit grabbing some napkins and trying too wipe it off, hating the blood on her hands. That was one thing she did not like about fighting, the blood.

The blood she always had to shed.

Beaten and humiliated, the boys ran off.

-------------------------------------------------------

Michiru wondered if anyone would try to follow her. She prayed not. The food stands were closed by now, which was why no one came running when the fight had broke out. And if Haruka hadn't have come... Michiru didn't want to think what would have happened.

In the center of the boardwalk, behind the wooden stage there were bathrooms. She ducked inside the women's bathroom, and stood at the sink panting. She was so angry as she brought trembling handfuls of water to her mouth, rinsing it many times. She used her fingers and worked the sand out of her hair, and rinsed her face. She noticed a small cut on her cheek, where a tiny shard must have been kicked up with the sand before. She gripped the sides of the sink, fighting the urge to scream.

Why did anyone have permission to treat people that way?

She felt so weak and such a burden to Haruka. If only she could be stronger, she would have been able to handle it. How dare they do that to her, how dare they stalk her, and barge into her life. How dare they touch her and humiliate her. She felt heat radiating from her body from these emotions. As if her very blood churned and bubbled like a massive rush of current; Like a tsunami rising higher and higher…

Her pulse -for there was no other explanation- sounded like water rushing in her ears, a humming, roaring noise. She tasted salt in her mouth, and told herself it was tears. Her body trembled, as if holding back some sort of power, wanting to spring up like a geyser. Thoughts and words flew through her mind, longed to be spoken, if she could manage to speak them coherently in her angry power. She assumed it was a type of chant that was formed in her angry state of mind. But if only she knew it was a type of key which would unlock everything.  
Regardless, these feelings were always so surprising to her, so new, yet so strangely and shockingly familiar. Michiru forced herself to get a grip, afraid of it and pushed the feelings away; pushed that desire away. She glanced at herself in the mirror, her jaw clenched as she fought herself and for an instant there seemed to be again, a bright warm glow of teal somewhere around her forehead. It was so bright she thought she was going to black out. It began to glow brighter and surrounded her body.

So bright.

It burned her eyes.

And yet.. It felt so warm and...

The door slammed against the bathroom wall, startling her out of the trance. The glow was gone in the instant it took to appear. Michiru blinked, swaying on the spot.

"Michiru!" Haruka was at her side, catching her as she tried to regain balance. "Daijoubu ka?"

The current she had felt within subsided, leaving only her hammering pulse and a fierce dull ache where the light had shown… Or where she thought it had shown. She only did that one other time, when she was very little. She thought it had been a dream.  
Either way, she didn't like it when she came so close to loosing control, whatever that would mean.

Michiru blinked multiple times.

"Hai… I must...Ara…I don't know.." She sighed, closing her eyes.  
Haruka hugged her a bit scowling. "Those stupid bastards friends of yours?"

Michiru raised her brow stupidly. She never heard Haruka talk like that in front of her, and she was shaking as if so pumped up from her anger or the fight. Michiru stood better on her own now, but remained in Haruka's arms. She pulled back a bit to look at her and gasped.

"HARUKA! Your eye is all purple! What did they do to you?"

Michiru bunched a thick wad of paper towels together putting them under ice cold sink water before pressing it gingerly against Haruka's bruised eye. Haruka however was grinning, more on her good side then the other cause it kinda hurt to move her face too much.

"Eh, he got his. I don't think he really has a picture perfect face to go with that _charming_ disposition anymore."

Michiru's eyes widened.  
"Well thank goodness he isn't underage or you could go to jail! His father, Tehuchi, is a very powerful man, Haruka. He could have you locked up so fast-"

"Tehuchi?" Haruka laughed. "Motoki Tehuchi?"  
"H..Hai." Michiru wondered what was so funny. She re-wet the paper towels and this time blotted Haruka's forehead.  
"He is the brother of one of my sponsors! His son is Yukio, right?" Haruka had been too distracted during the fight to pay attention to the scum's name.

Michiru looked a bit doubtful but listened although by her expression, she looked as though Haruka had scrambled her head when she was hit. But she looked more interested now when Haruka offered the right name.

"Hai.. How did you know?" Michiru soaked the towel again and must have thought Haruka was more sane by returning them to her eye again. Water began to make the dress shirt collar soaked and the material cling to her neck. Haruka held the towels in place for a while before tossing them in the trash remembering something suddenly.  
"Yeah. My sponsor mentions his brother all the time. He always says how much of a jerk his nephew is and how if it were his own son, he would have beat some sense into him long ago." Haruka leaned against the sink gingerly touching her eye, in between swatting Michiru's hand away as she fussed over her.  
"Apparently the kid steals from him when his brother visits along with cleaning out his liquor supply. He's a good for nothing just like his father. In fact, they're always fighting because his brother refuses to believe that his son would ever do anything like that. Last I talked to him, he was setting camera's around, to catch the little punk in the act."

Haruka normally didn't like gossip, or boasting, but she was enjoying all the attention. And Michiru was the perfect femme for it as well. Finally, Michiru knew of Haruka's chivalry to her honor. She grinned at Michiru in such a way that the fussing girl felt her knees begin to turn to jelly again.

"Come on, Hero. We have to get back and put something on that eye of yours." Michiru offered to loop Haruka's arm around her shoulder, but Haruka feeling as high as bird right then, scooped up Michiru bride style and carried her out.  
"Haruka!.. Oh fine!" Michiru laughed a little. She liked seeing Haruka so carefree and happy for once.

It probably felt good to fight with someone other then yourself sometimes.

The sun was barely a sliver above the water now, almost completely melted. The last brilliant rays of golden blue, and cherry pinks were scattered like ribbons across the twilight of navy blue. Stars began to speckle like tiny diamonds on a backdrop of plush dark blue velour, so that by the time they had returned, the moon and the boardwalk lamps had been their only guide for most of the way back.

--------------------------------------

**Authors notes: **

GOMEN! I had commissions last month for Sailor Moon brooches, for all the seasons, and I played around with that on eBay for a week or so..and 20 brooches sold later and a lot of supplies over the place, I've been writing bits and pieces. Oo;

If anyone is interested in seeing my work, curious or otherwise, check out the page:

www . Cosplaypropsetc . live journal . Com (without the spaces though)

More to come! Much more! God will I ever stop dragging my feet XD gomen!

Ps. I threw the kiss in there for all of you. Lol. More to come, I promise!


	9. Bittersweet

**Disclaimers:**  
All Sailor moon characters belong to Naoko Takeuchi, not me. Nope not even in my bedroom..  
So, dun sue me, kthanxbai!

**Authors Notes:**  
Randomly decided to write tonight, don't know how far Ill get, but...I lonely and writing makes me feel… not lonely?  
Had a Morgan-ish moment today involving an ex of mine, so.. perhaps 'Mor-zilla' will return? Nah, it wasn't major but I'm alittle..weirded. And but no, I had been plotting it all from the beginning, don't worry XD;

Keep reading, there will be a rainbow at the end...

UPDATE: holy crap, I'm so awful, its been months since I worked on this XD; GOMEN.

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**After taste**

Haruka had carried Michiru along the shoreline until it became so dark that she could no longer safely see by the light of the moon alone.

The sky was beautiful, with lingering clouds that threatened rain but full of hopeful promise from miles of twinkling stars as big as diamonds. But as the last few yards of silvery sand lay before them and the beach house loamed over head like an empty shell, the sky had been deceiving. It ripped apart like parchment and let loose thick wet drops of rain; held back like lover's tears. They pattered down like a rhythm of night time confessions, just as the two women slipped through the back door, and into the tiny kitchen.

"Woo.. Nearly missed that, huh?"

Haruka muttered, rubbing the rain's dampness from her shoulders. Michiru was glad that her hair was up, hating the feeling of it wet against her bare skin, and checked herself over. She didn't know why she did so; she didn't mind if her clothes were wet.

"Yeah nearly.. So strange. It had been a beautiful clear night."

Michiru remarked hugging her damp arms and waiting for Haruka to turn on the lights. She didn't know quite where the switch was, but groping for it in the dark didn't seem tempting.

Haruka went to flick on the kitchen lights but stopped looking out into the main room; Something, no someone, had caught her eye. It made her feel strange; hair pricked up along her neck. Shaking her head, she flicked on the light and rummaged in the frig for a moment before pulling out a carton of juice. Pouring herself some she glanced over her shoulder to Michiru who was eyeing the frig as if thinking about something. Haruka took this for want, and asked if shed like something to drink as well.

Michiru went ahead helping herself and looked in the top and lower parts before finding what she had been thinking about. To Haruka's surprise Michiru then took the carton from Haruka and put it away for her. Handing the blond her glass, she gently guided her - juice and all- to sit onto the counter top. Haruka did so and Michiru was rewarded with a slight blush. Her stomach did a slight flop of unexpected joy.

"Michiru?" Haruka began a little surprised.

"Here; Put this on your eye.."

Haruka raised a brow and winced. Still, the surprise couldn't be kept from her face as her house guest pressed a dripping steak to her swelling face. Haruka flinched a little as the meat was cold and very much raw...

"It'll help. I'm not sure how, but I read about it once."

"Michiru.. this was to be our dinner." Haruka joked, but she was serious too. She paid good money for it. "Now, it is against my eye… And it is wet and cold."

Michiru smirked a little throwing the plastic foam container away and washed her hands, having no sympathy.

"Dinner or no; it'll help the swelling.."

"I don't find this very attractive. Do you?"

"And having an eye sore on your face -_pun intended_- is?"

"Touché."

"Besides, who's the fool who decided to throw punches?"

Michiru asked getting herself a glass of water before leaning her elbows against the counter beside Haruka.

"He tried to punch me; if you remember. Besides, the jerk deserved it. They were looking for you at the café earlier.. I thought they would do something if I didn't."

She bit back the part about saving Michiru's honor; feeling like some wannabe knight in shining armor. "Besides, no one should be allowed to get away with that. Stupid punks. If it were me I would press charges-"

"I would just as well like to hope they will leave and never come back." Michiru sighed.

A moment passed of each sipping their own drink and Haruka adjusting the slow wet decent of the raw cow slab which slid miserably down her cheek, before she decided to do something.

She took the meat off and threw it with a flop into the sink and before Michiru had time to protest she held up her hands for the right to speak.

"I'll be fine; I'll take something for it.. But now I need a bath."

Haruka shrugged almost apologetically to Michiru's confusion but her eyes were smiling.

She washed her hands and her face, not enjoying that close encounter at all. Although he face felt a tad bit better, she still touched it as gingerly as possible. It hurt like hell, but it was worth it. She glanced at herself in the window and seemed far away for a moment as if she was reminiscing about something.

Michiru frowned and hid her scowl in her water glass. It wasn't her place to nag, but really the least Haruka could do was to listen to advice; Although being defended like that to those guys was really sweet. And what exactly was Haruka thinking about? Did this stormy night remind her of the past...the past that Michiru never belonged to?

Michiru frowned more trying to fight away the flush of heat pricking at the corners of her eyes, until Haruka turned and smiled.

"Join me."

Michiru nearly choked and swallowed blushing.

She could barely choke out: "N..Nani?"

Haruka grinned this time, taking Michiru's glass and sitting it down. She found her hands and gently tugged them.

"Come on.."

Michiru fought the urge to let her heart creep further up her throat and let Haruka pull her.

Her feet seemed to been weightless.

Haruka lead her upstairs, not bothering with the hall lights. Along the way, the walls seemed strange and glowed from the rare occurrence of the moon out with the storm clouds.

It was a summer rain, sweet and pure. The damp smell of the earth and the leaves crept through the open windows in windy gusts. Michiru liked how it banished away the dank musty air of before. However, she couldn't comprehend all of this now. Her heart was hammering too fast; her world threatened to spin out of control.

Haruka was so hard to understand.. They passed the trick closet door which led to the bathroom and entered the master bedroom. But they passed that bathroom door too.

Michiru looked puzzled and tried to take back her hand, but Haruka only smiled to her.

"So, will you join me?"

She pushed back the large billowy curtains which had been covering a set of wall length windows. But as Michiru observed, these windows were actually a set of French modeled balcony doors and the night reflected expectantly back at them. Rain fell like a waterfall down the panes.

It looked other worldly.

Michiru was dumbstruck but nodded. It didn't make sense, but then love hardly ever did make sense. The body is guided by impulses and electric signals. It takes but an instant to react, and a lifetime to comprehend.

Haruka opened the balcony doors, and the wind handled the rest, claiming the doors and swinging them wide open. Haruka looked like a wild entity that had somehow awakened Michiru in her sleep and lured her out into the night; As if she had been equipped with strong wings like a bird and would take Michiru away from the world forever; like Peter pan with Wendy.

Michiru watched Haruka, clothes and hair blowing in the rainy wind; waiting as if wanting this fantasy.

Perhaps it had been so, in a pervious time. In a previous life; When they had been lovers and the sky wasn't the only one with nightly confessions. Somehow it seemed perfect.

Michiru stepped out into the wild night.

Miles of sand dunes and boardwalk stretched out in the distance melting far off into the horizon, but for now the world was all velvet and storm. It was like the soft essence of kittens and the reality of jungle claws.

At first it was a sort of dance; a bit awkward in the beginning as Michiru had never been led before. Haruka seemed a pro and waltzed her across the wooden panels. Her hands, in contrast to the rain, was hot and guiding on Michiru's hip and wrist. From the rain, it felt like only tissue paper separated Haruka's touch, and her skin. Somewhere lost in the clashing of thunder, was a tiny moan from the back of Michiru's throat. Her hair felt heavy, making her head lean back a bit. As if in response, Haruka's hands found the intricate knots and combs, and released it. Michiru leaned her head back more, the rain pounded her hair in flat curls against her back, and smaller wisps clung to her cheeks and face in ringlets. Haruka fought very hard with herself, suddenly longing so badly to brush her lips against Michiru's neck, and suck the rain from her soaked skin.

It was all too much.

The rain was surprisingly warm now. And even though it was so thick that it was hard to see, Haruka's jade eyes found and held Michiru's own. Michiru, dazed and breathless in her arms, searched them in return. She wondered if the person Haruka was seeing, was herself or another. Haruka smiled to her easing the last of the barrette's out of her hair and pushed the strands in her face back against her neck. The dress at this point was ridiculously see through, and Michiru pushed closer into Haruka's chest, for modesty's sake; Or so she reasoned.

Haruka stopped the dance and simply held her, but with what feelings in her heart, Michiru did not know. She could just make out Haruka's pulse under the thin layer of her shirt.

They stood there for a long time in the warm rain and finally when it had begun to slow, Haruka pulled back a little and looked again into Michiru's eyes.

"Do you think I am hopeless?" She asked her, the flat tone of her whisper made Michiru shiver a bit. She thought perhaps she was hearing things, as she could barely hear it over the sea and rain.

"No... I don't. I never did." Michiru smiled touching Haruka's cheek.

"Keshou..." Haruka sighed against the top of her hair lightly, knowing it was time to let go.

Or else...

The phone was ringing. Sharp and loud. Nonstop and persistent.

Haruka pulled back a little and made her way inside to answer, almost relieved for an excuse to get away from the searing touch and sweet skin. Michiru watched her go, feeling a bit of numbness creep over her. She had the feeling that this moment was as rare and beautiful as a once in a life time event; The tiniest glimpse of a shooting star. And now.. Michiru walked into the dark room again shivering, and groped for the towel she had used earlier left slung over the rack, just inside the doorway of the bathroom.

And now...

She crept closer, feeling like a spy for real this time but unable to help herself. What was she hearing? Haruka flustered... Haruka's lowly tone of anger mixed with an underlying pain... Haruka apologizing. Michiru tried to breathe, she tried to move, she tried to think but it was all spinning.

Morgan..

"I'ts alright, I understand... Ten minutes, tops; Hold on, Ill be right there."

Haruka's voice with a hint of urgency; A bit of breathless hesitation, or anticipation. What she heard.. made Michiru wanted to scream.

"I'm sorry. I have to go... Car broke down; there was no one else.."

"What about her boyfriend.. Can't you see she's just toying with you." Michiru began, unable to hold back the look of obvious betrayal.

In the back of her mind she wondered, should she feel betrayed? What the hell was that out there anyway; God, did she even know herself?

"Look, she needs help. You just said I wasn't a fool; so trust me."

"You're right. You weren't one; until now!"

"Listen, things are complicated. I've been with her for years. Its not as easy as you think!"

Haruka was starting to get angry now. Without thinking about it she flung off her soaked shirt for a dry one and changed her shoes. Michiru watched unable to stop her tears now. This was all spinning out of control. How could Haruka not see what was happening?

And furthermore more, why couldn't Michiru stop the angry words that took form now towards Haruka. She knew it wouldn't help, but her pain cried out for vengeance.

"What's not easy? _Huh_? Is that it then, am I done now; May I go?" Michiru yelled. Haruka stood, pain and anger flaring in her eyes.

"I need some time.." Haruka began, trying to walk past Michiru.

"_Time_? Don't tell me.."

"I need some damn time, okay?!"

Michiru stood there a second, before tightening her jaw and smacking Haruka across the cheek. She let out a sob, and recoiled her hand.

Now she had done it. She was no better then Morgan. Suddenly, she hated herself; no she loathed herself.

Michiru gasped and looked up at Haruka whose eyes were closed disdainfully. Without another word Haruka silently left and slammed the door, ratting the old frame and knocking a tiny bit of sheet rock out of the ceiling.

The dark closed in on Michiru like a thick fog. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't think. Her stomach twisted when she heard the sound of tires peel outside and then the silence.

Michiru crumpled to her knees sobbing. Why couldn't she hold back this pain that felt like it would consume her very being. They were so close.. Was earlier just a dream? Or was Haruka pretending she was someone else the entire time? Michiru took a long moment to cry and collect herself.

Obviously Haruka was still in love with Morgan.

Michiru laid the combs back in their velvet lining.

Obviously, Haruka liked the game of cat and mouse.

She laid out the pearls and the earrings and closed their velvet lined drawer.

Obviously, Michiru was a damn fool.

She flung off the dress and left it on the bed before gathering her clothes from before and tugging them back on. She found her worn out work sneakers, and her purse and touched the doorknob to leave.

Should she go? Maybe she had blown it all out of proportion.. Maybe..

Michiru gritted her teeth and opened the door, forcing herself outside and slammed it behind her. She needed to leave. She needed to be gone before Haruka returned.

Michiru had no idea where she was going, but any direction was better then the last one. She'd show Haruka; she didn't need her love.. No, her pain!

Running down the path, her footsteps were lost to the churning water.

The house was lonely and silent once more.

--

A faint translucent figure standing on the last floor, looked out after the fleeing form and touched their hand to the glass before fading away; almost sadly...

----------------

-To be continued-

Authors notes: Just wanted to post something. I cut this in half, so Ill be working on the next bit tonight as well. Don't worry! Stick with me.


	10. PartII

**Authors Notes:**  
This chapter had been written ahead of time but edited heavily.. And I know by the end of it you will want to strangle me. :looks around gulping:It pleases me so much to see how involved you all are getting with my story. It means I am really doing my job as a writer. I like telling a story, its more like a play. I don't want you to just read it, I want you all to feel it. Then I know I have successfully communicated, and to be part of something as huge as that, makes me feel wonderful. D  
It makes me so happy knowing you guys are going out of the way to listen to the same songs that I do when I write it. Music is a huge inspiration for me. )  
For this chapter I listened to 'Sad exchange' by finger 11, Linkin park, and Avril Lavienge. (Sorry spelling)  
I know I keep saying that I'll get to 'happier' parts, but I keep writing more and it bumps all the ideas down further along lol.  
Btw, this is becoming so long, that it is nearly a novella by now. Im at 45 thousand words (and counting).  
Luckily my girlfriend was here this time to laugh with me at my old ideas and my lack of continuity. Luckily I had revisited with her some previous chapters so you'll see things begin to tie together.  
I'm aiming to end this story with chapter 12. Because 12 is so much better then 13. Lol.  
Thank you to all of my readers, for your praise and encouragement. It is you that inspires me to continue to write. This chapter may seem thick and intense, but this is the last of Morgan, and I think you will like this chapter. :mysterious smile: Anyway, keep with me as always.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

**The Last sip is always Bittersweet: Part II**

It was getting cold out. The moon was high in the sky now. Michiru could see her breath and shivered muttering. Good for nothing Haruka, knight in shining armor she was not. Anything she did for Michiru, was retracted now. All she wanted was to get home, into her own bed and forget all of this.

Soon, she'll be gone anyway. Tomorrow, she had decided, was her last day at the alley. What was she doing here? What had she hoped to accomplish?

Her parents, as always, were right.

And it looked like she would get to say goodbye to her coworkers after all. She batted away hot tears every once in awhile and hugged her arms closer to her body. She should have taken a jacket; Haruka wouldn't have noticed.

She wondered if Haruka was making up with Morgan right then.

Michiru clutched at her chest, as if trying to stop the bleeding of an invisible gaping wound, and pressed on.

- -

Haruka cursed herself up and down the whole drive back through artist alley and into the city. Morgan cut her off, seemingly forever. Haruka had been done with her. Why did she feel responsibility; why did she apologize? Why was she running to the rescue?

And what right did Michi-.. _Kaiou san_,have to correct her anyway; like a jealous lover? Whatever impression that girl had gotten through out the night was her own, and it had nothing to do herself...

Haruka slammed on the brakes suddenly nearly running into the car ahead of her and swore again. That's why she should be paying attention when she drove. As the chorus of angry horns and rude gestures sped past her, Haruka coolly changed gears, and sped past and through them all again. Probably breaking ten different traffic rules, Haruka didn't care anymore. She drove like the racer she had been trained to be, and felt like the ice coated person she had forced herself to be.

She glanced at the road signs trying to find the street Morgan was 'trapped' on. She had a cell phone, couldn't she call for a tow herself; a taxi even? Michiru's words rung in her head, and Haruka sped up more.

Was she really being a fool?

There; She could spot Morgan from a distance, her red hair was so vibrant. Haruka bit her lip and pulled into the street bracing herself like a wolf with bristled fur. She slowed down beside the car, and Morgan looked over to her with pouting lips and mascara smudged eyes. Although normally a hellcat, Morgan had a way of seeming so helpless and... beautifully distressed.

"God, I thought you'd never come!" She said, her eyes tearing. "I was so scared, Haruka!"

Haruka sighed idling the car, and rolled down the window more, not wanting to jump out all at once and rush in like she always did. But that's what Morgan had wanted, for her eye brows creased and she glared now.

"What took you? Don't you even care that I've been stranded for hours on end-."

"Not hours; minutes. I came as soon as you called." Haruka calmly corrected feeling so tired. She fought the urge to rub her pounding temples and wondered distractedly why she liked this exchange.

"Did you call a tow?.." Haruka managed to ask, glancing at the clock and wondering who would come at this hour. Morgan stared at the street angrily before digging through her fake skinned purse for god knew what.

"No, I didn't- That's a _man's _job." The way she said it, so sweetly and catty, made Haruka's jaw clench uncomfortably.

She put the car into park and stepped out, needing to avoid that remark for now. The pain and harshness of it was too much to accept. Morgan stood dismally and uninterested at her side, while Haruka put the hood up. And when she began to search for the problem, Morgan was happy non the less that Haruka was fretting on her behalf.

Seeing no problem at all, Haruka numbly opened the driver's door and turned the key. In utter disbelief the engine roared into life, without pause. Haruka felt a slow trickle of realization pour over her face and neck. Morgan didn't seem phased by being figured out, but a little annoyed. She waved off Haruka's angry look dismissively.

"What? Don't ask me. I don't know cars. Maybe it was just a fluke."

Haruka closed her eyes before slamming the door and the hood, walking over to her car again.

"You don't believe me?.. What are you just going to leave? What if the car breaks down again?"

"Morgan.." Haruka began absolutely exasperated.

She looked over at the woman, who seemed so strong now in her stiletto heels and city suit and skirt. In some way, it seemed that she was enjoying Haruka's phases of hurt, pain and rage.

"Then call a tow, call a taxi and go home yourself." Haruka got into the car, starting the engine.

"You think you're so strong. So _perfect_. Well you're not." Morgan spat quietly against Haruka's ear. She leaned down against the car frame and smiled.

Why couldn't Haruka put up the window? Why couldn't she pull off right now. Why-

"I'm pregnant."

Haruka's eyes widened and she felt as though she had been punched in the stomach. She struggled to breathe.

"I thought you didn't want children.." Her voice was far away and her mouth was dry.

Why was Morgan so cruel?

"I don't." She answered just as sweet, her lips curling into a soft smile.

"I just wanted to experience what _real _men could do, Tenou kun."

Haruka swallowed and looked to her, all of her pain seemed so much, it seared within her like a vicious ache and was replaced with detachment and utter exhaustion. It the middle of this chaos, one smiling face came to her mind. Kaiou san.

"I see." Haruka smiled a little and changed the gear from 'park' to 'drive'.

"Well Morgan, that's great news. Because after we split, I've had the pleasure of experiencing what a _real_ woman was like." Haruka smiled, the pain lifting just a bit seeing the surprised unsettled look on Morgan's face.

"Yeah, so It's getting late, I gotta go. Could you please remove me from your life. Because I'm done."

Morgan stood utterly startled. "Oh..Okay."

"By the way, I hope you still remember the name of the father, because I won't be coming back when you call anymore." Haruka put up the window and pressed the gas, leaving Morgan in the wake of her exhaust.

Haruka didn't know where she should go now; feeling dizzy and slightly elated.

It was the kind of excited exhaustion that made her body shaky and her mind unstable. So she just kept going straight, unconsciously being pulled back toward the alley.

- -

Michiru wondered how long she had been walking; her legs began to ache.

Still, she needed to keep going and she couldn't turn back. By the light of the occasional passing car, she spotted with relief the fork in the highway, knowing that the slightest glimmer of the park just outside the alley, would be in the distance.

She missed Monsieur; His warm purring body beside her while she slept. She missed Lady Anigusta; the only motherly figure she had out here and her advice.

Michiru quickened her pace wondering if she could go through with leaving, but knowing it was for best. She closed her eyes briefly, missing someone so much it hurt. A face came to her mind, the shadowy masculine face from her dreams. Michiru let out a soft sob. That person was dead now.

Even if her apartment was empty, she longed for it. Even if the silence and chill of the sheets made her feel so empty.

Car lights turned the corner and blinded her up ahead. She put her hands up and walked more onto the side of the road, not really wanting to get hit tonight as well. After a moment she slowed watching, wondering why the car stopped. Dread filled her and made her pulse quicken. Why were they just sitting there like that? Michiru cursed, afraid it was some crazy person looking for a vulnerable girl. Would this night ever end?

She decided to sprint the rest of the way to the park and began to run.

- -

Haruka had begun the turn to go into the beginnings of the route back to the house, her wounds licked now. She felt bad for what she had said and hoped Michiru would let her take her home in the morning. That girl didn't deserve to be manipulated by Haruka; in that way she had been no better then Morgan. She had to apologize again, and hope the girl could forget all about her and move on. It was for her own good that Haruka let her go. A small voice objected in the back of her mind.

'She just wanted love.'

Without thinking about it, Haruka slid her hand into her pants pocket and among some sand, her fingers closed around the small little clam shell Michiru had found and plucked out among the surf. Her thumb stroked the smooth interior, unconsciously. This was the shell Michiru had given her just that morning; had it really been that morning? So much had happened, it seemed impossible. What were the words Michiru had said about it? That if you wished for a mermaid, to hold the shell and toss it into the ocean and surely one would come. Well, there was no ocean here, but a small, growing part of Haruka wished for her keshou.

She had wished so badly for a second chance; to make it right. She held the shell so tightly in her palm that its tiny ridged surface begun to leave indentations in her skin.

As she thought it over, some movement up ahead caught her attention and she stopped the car, thinking it was a deer or some other nightly animal.

To her dismay it was Michiru.

"What the hell is she doing?"

She turned the car a bit so the lights would brighten the dark, so she could be sure.

It was Michiru; and she was running.

"Hey!" Haruka swore and backed up turning the steering wheel a bit to straighten out and turned drifting to the other lane to drive alongside Michiru. Leaning over, Haruka rolled down the window.

"Did you walk all this way? Are you nuts?"

- -

"Tenou kun?" Michiru called out, surprise and embarrassment making her face burn. She was glad that only the hazard lights flashing on and off would seem to be the cause of colouring her skin red.

She watched Haruka get out of the car, the wind whipping at her hair.

How could she have found her in the night like this? Michiru had walked far enough; in fact she hardly had any idea where she was. It didn't matter. Michiru kept on walking regardless.

Haruka swore and got back into the car, driving beside her again, while Michiru stalked off.

"Just where do you think you're going?" Her voice raising from frustration.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that, fly by night hero?.. What do you care anyway; Leave me alone." It was demanding, hesitate but vital non the less. "Aren't you planning to just disappear again anyway?"

Haruka froze at Michiru's words, stopped the car and sat there erect.

After a moment, the harshness of her own words sunk in and Michiru's step became irregular. She paused to look back.

Somehow she longed to walk back and lean against Haruka's strong shoulder like before. To hold Haruka now, would be like holding her self; maybe it would help ease the ache. She felt her feet stumble as she fought with herself.

"Haruka.." she whispered sadly, feeling as through her name would shatter the air around them. Haruka didn't hear it, but shifted gears and pressed the gas. The car sped past and turned. Michiru stood there and swore balling her hands into fists.

"_I hate you!" _She screamedto the night sky.

Not knowing what else to do, Michiru kept on walking, her tears blinding her way.

It was so dark now, she couldn't see. If she were in the right frame of mind, she would have been scared.

The sound of a car pulled up again beside her after a good few minutes. The drivers knuckles were red as though they had been boxing with the steering wheel.

"Get in you crazy kid; I'm taking you home."

"I'm not a kid, but a woman, Tenou kun. Please, go away now."

"Kaiou san, don't be stupid." Haruka reached over and opened the passenger door.

"Get in. These roads are dangerous at night, and its pitch black."

"I don't need you. I never needed you!" Michiru spat, her heart telling her she lied.

Haruka flinched and hardened her eyes.

"For the sake of humanity then, please, get in the damned car."

"You're the one kidnapping women, Tenou kun. I was but a victim in all of this."

Haruka looked like she would be willing to speed off again, but clenched her jaw and turned off the motor.

"I'm sorry.."

"About what? Leading me on? Breaking my heart?.. Honestly, do you even know?"

Michiru said trembling. She stopped where she stood to see if the blond would try to dance out of this one.

"Kaiou san... I.. just can't."

Haruka's life lately even without Morgan, and possibly because of her, made it seem already so difficult and confusing. After all, an F-1 racer is not a family man's job. She couldn't afford anymore relationships. Any minute she could die, or be injured, or the media meddling; she didn't think she could handle it. She knew she couldn't stand it if it caused Michiru pain because of it. She already caused her so much pain.

That sounded about right.

If Haruka were free, she could travel whenever she wanted. She could now go wherever she wanted, whenever she wanted. She could live and _die, _how she wanted. Her life didn't seem to let her choose with love matters, but she could choose now. Right now, this moment. She liked being a bi-standard for woman when they wished their 'so and so' or 'such and such' could be like her. She wasn't ready to be someone's 'such and such' yet -_again_. Haruka learned that the hard way with Morgan, and the wound was just beginning to heal over. Admittedly, it might have been scar tissue but it was still healed. And everyone knows how dangerous cutting back into scarred tissue can be, even more sensitive to pain and damage; It could never stop bleeding.

Taking a deep couple of breaths of the salty air she tried to clear her head. Normally Haruka could think in her car, but Michiru's emotions bore into her like pointed arrows; Questions, demands, promises. The pain was there, so strong and intense, like a fatal wound. The presence of it was so strong, it made the air thick and somber, and it almost could be smelled in the air. It mixed with Haruka's own, making the perfect infection. Raw, gaping, emotion.

It was so intense Haruka couldn't think or hardly breathe, she felt like she were drowning in her thoughts.

Michru had been in the car for some time now.

Haruka had been so lost in her thoughts, it almost scared her. She wondered if she had pushed the woman too far, and suddenly it was all too tiring to think about anymore.

She reached over and took Haruka's hand. The touch seemed to pull the blonde out of her trance, and Haruka could barely comprehend Michiru's words.

She never even realised Michiru had been in the car at all.

"Cant...can't we just try?" Michiru whispered, longing to cry but her eyes seemed dry. She never wanted anything so much in her life.

There was a moment where the wind and ocean were the only noise, the crashing, churning, the hollowing. And then..

"I'll take you home," Haruka murmured listlessly. And when she started the car, she noticed how icy Michiru's touch had become, as she slid her hand away again, into her lap.

"Right. I wouldn't want to miss my last day of work." Michiru mused, almost bitterly but her voice was too cracked with pain.

"Last-?"

"Yes. I'm going home. There's nothing left for me here, in the Alley." Her face was unreadable as Haruka tried to find truth or lie in her words. For Michiru, either way it clearly was time to move on.

However it might have sounded, it was a legitimate reason. Wherever she ended up now, it would be away from Haruka and everything she had tried to be here. Michiru knew how to be unreadable and cold as well, she could be just as cold to Haruka.

Haruka connected Morgan's goodbye, to Michiru's now, and so she felt no need to object. Although it was Haruka's fear of rejection causing it, the feelings of resentment and error returned, and she was more confident in her choice because of them. This was always easy for her. It was later when she was alone with her thoughts, when it became so hard to breathe under their weight.

"I wish you well." She said, unable to think of something more to say.

"Thanks.." Michiru slid further away from Haruka, turning toward the passenger window and to the dark night.

- -

**Authors Notes:**  
Look forward to the next chapter very soon. (It's done actually lol but I'm going to wait a day or so before I post it.) I'm bringing this around in a full circle. :grin:  
P.s. how did you like Haruka's come back to Morgan?


	11. Cathleen

**Authors Notes:**  
My girlfriend was here with me editing this chapter, cutting and pasting, laughing and joking lol But its funny that 95 of this was already written, I just had to make it all work with everything in the present.  
It was really nice though. ) She should be here with me more often when I work on this XD;  
Anyway I'm aiming for the last chapter to be 12, but we'll see.  
Enjoy.  
There's a lot of mysteries solved and plot twists. I'll likely do a part two for this, since ruka needs a whole chapter now, before the final chapter. Also I may, mayyyyy, if you ask nicely XD, write a bonus mini chapter at the very end in the point of view of Monsieur. Yes the cat.  
Won't that be fun XD;  
- - -

**Disclaimer:**  
I do not own the piano score, "All Among the Roses" written in 1872, by W. H. Delehanty.  
I'm just using a bit of it for this chapter.  
Btw, its a very old song, obviously 'gay' meant 'happy' then, k? XD;

- - -

**Chapter Ten - Cathleen**

Before they had known it, Haruka's car idled in front of Michiru's tiny apartment building.

Michiru didn't look back as she let herself out of the car, and ran into the building, not sure if it was tears or rain drops on her pale cheeks.

Hugging her arms, Michiru had climbed the creaky dusty stairs to her small deteriorating apartment. She went inside feeling as transparent as rice paper and just as fragile. It was bad enough she would never see Haruka again. In fact, she didn't even want to think about her again; but on top of that she had lied to her face to save her own pride.

Opening the door she stood there feeling dirty and strange. She sat on her bed, too shaken and detached to cry much more then a few tears at a time.

She should've took a lesson or two from Lady Anigusta.. She wanted more then ever to talk to the older woman now. But then Lady would probably laugh at her for making the same mistakes.

"_Hadn't you be listening Michiru?" _She imagined Anigusta saying; Monsieur licking from a porcelain dish, and the musty scent of old costumes and herbs mixing with the sweet summer like breeze. It was so vivid, tears stung in the back of her eyes.

At least for now, she was home.

Michiru turned out the little table lamp beside her bed and laid there in the dark.

Her icy barrier cracked into a million sharp shards, when finally outside she heard Haruka's car pull away. The ceiling was the only witness of her emotional decay.

She finally wept over the entirety of it all, unable to comprehend anymore heartache.

- - -

Haruka had no excuse for the moisture on her cheeks, the windows in the car were kept up, but still her cheeks glistened with hot wetness. She was too tired to drive home tonight, and didn't feel like going back to the beach house. So she found a parking lot in the Alley, near the old town's cathedral. Somehow it seemed right, and gave her solace.

Lucky for her, Michiru held grudges and was horribly proud. Neither of them spoke a word to each other the whole way to Michiru's apartment.

Fool. Idiot. Baka. Well this was for the better. Now she could sign that contract without guilt, and race without consequence. This was how it had to be. Nothing else mattered now. The happily ever after life wasn't the Tenou way. She didn't know how she had gotten so foggy headed to begin with.

Scrubbing at her cheeks, she finally jammed the gear into park and leaned the seat back, wanting to close her eyes and forget it all. And so she slept there, or what little sleep she could receive, was riddled with questions and unease.

One thing seemed clear though, life was full of hard knocks, and unless you keep your arms up for the fight, you'll be knocked down over and over again.

- - -

It had been a gray and wet morning, in the wake of that long and terrible night; with icy gray surf and pattering steely clouds.

A watery shadow outside the cars tinted windows placed a coloured flyer under the wipers. Haruka growled and went to lower the window, angry that even in her car she couldn't escape. But when she got the window down, only plastering wet grayness met her bleary eyes. The town seemed dead and quiet, she had finally realized. Pulling at the soggy flyer, Haruka numbly squinted at the words.

"**In remembrance of Cathleen James Mason, a viewing will be held by the family for the friends and loved ones in the town today at nine o'clock a.m... Funeral services will be held behind... Followed by a reading at noon on the 22nd.**"

The cryptic text flowed on but Haruka's brain stopped registering them. Where had she heard that name before? In whisperings and undertones from her mother over the receiver, or after a piano recital?

Perhaps it was a friend of her mother's.

That was somewhat possible; her mother had thought the Alley was charming at times, and they lived so close in the summer.

But something didn't seem right.

Below the cryptic text was a hand written paragraph, a Xeroxed continuum. It was from an Alley member, to all the other Alley members who knew this person best and loved her for it. And this was anything but cryptic and detached.

This struck home.

"Come pay your respects to the woman who first defined the Alley. Lady Anigusta touched all of our lives. Now is the time, if you missed the vigil. May she rest in peace.

Oggi uniamo un amico, ma domani guadagneremo un angelo."

'_Today we unite for a friend, but tomorrow we receive an angel.'_

"What..?"

Haruka felt as though someone had hit her hard in the stomach. In a whirl of piano keys her mind flashed, as the noise crashed together with her faltering memories and her dazed unacceptance. Then she realized. Had Michiru known? Is that why she brought it up?

No; she didn't seem like she knew.

"So all this time, we had both been so unaware.."

Haruka hit her steering wheel, the palm tapping the horn sharply once.

"Damn!"

Another person she didn't get a chance to let in, or say goodbye to. Why was her life's milestones based on all the people who left her life? No, all the people who she opened the door for and escorted out.

Haruka glanced at the clock; she had a good couple of hours till the viewing. And she did not fancy sleeping any more in her car; her neck already felt the neglect and lack of a decent bed.

She knew Anigusta wouldn't need a suit and tie for Haruka to be there, but she didn't feel right without one.

She pulled out of the parking lot and zoomed toward the city, needing a change of atmosphere and time to think and collect her thoughts.

Anigusta always gave the best advice and was always one step ahead in your thinking. Haruka tried to reassure herself that Anigusta probably didn't remember her anyway, but that was a lie, clearly she did. She spoke to Michiru about her. The world was full of ironic twists.

She only hoped she had the strength to do what she needed to do.

-

Opening the door of her city flat, Haruka was greeted by the silent void of emptiness and it reminded her of being in a place between time and space.

She took a shower and with twenty minutes to spare, she pulled on a black shirt, suit, and silver tie. She could almost hear Anigusta's throat chuckle from across the room at her vanity.

Before she walked out, she tucked a newly written letter into her breast pocket.

The name it was addressed to could only be delivered by means of the above...

- - -

Sunlight filtered through the dust in glittering beams which stretched across the floor and rested somewhere in the middle. The breeze kissed the sitting area next to Michiru's bed, but it carried with it the damp thickness of humid moisture. The type of weather that reminded her of home.

Monsieur stood there on the window sill as if waiting for her to stir awake; as though he has some business with her he needed to address. His deep green eyes glowed in the early morning dimness. He meowed once and crawled into her lap as she sat up from a restless sleep.

"I'm sorry I left you too.. I hope Lady fed you while I was away."

The cat just watched her and closed his eyes as her fingers traced along his chin and neck. Finally Michiru reached over and picked up a crème coloured envelope. ASU campus was printed on the front addressed to the resident on 9th avenue, Apartment 3B. She had found the letter pushed under her door, the buildings way of mail delivery, and she had been so tired she left it for the morning.

Whatever it held she knew it would be a roller coaster of emotion; and she didn't want to handle it then. She didn't really feel like handling it now, either, but she had put it off too long.

Lifting the seal, Michiru's eyes scanned the fine impersonal ariel font.

"_... However, it is regulations that only legal residents can acquire scholarships. " _

Michiru wasn't old enough to file herself as resident; and since they looked at her parents information, she would never be considered a resident. And she didn't think her parents would move out to where she was, more less anywhere near the Alley.

She hadn't thought of this problem, and now that it was right in front of her, she felt very foolish and disappointed.

All this time, she had been lying to everyone. There was no school; no scholarship. So she had been accepted to a university that she didn't have enough funds to attend.

There truly was no reason to stay here anymore; she might as well go back home.

Monsieur nudged her hand purring softly. She was aware of tears slipping down her cheeks. She had most of the day to kill since she didn't go into work till afternoon, perhaps she'd try to sleep some more. Although she knew that was near impossible.

Michiru laid back with her arm over her forehead and sighed heavily. Tonight she should pack. There was probably enough money in her account to take a train. She should treat herself. Michiru always wondered what it was like on a train.

She was willing to give up this fight.

Monsieur jumped down to the floor and ran to the closet door with a yowl and batted at it with his paws. He laid down on the floor, slipping one fluffy paw as far under the door as possible, clawing at something unseen. Michiru sighed annoyed. She couldn't sleep but she didn't want to do anything else. What was that cat doing? Her eyes opened when she heard him scratching at the varnished wood.

"Hey! Don't damage the door; Monsieur what's gotten into you!"

She was more cross then she wanted to sound. Monsieur's ears flicked in her direction and his tail flicked as he watched whatever was under the door. He yowled again, whiskers pricked forward. Michiru sighed and got up, wincing as she walked through the sun beams.

"What in the world is it, Monsieur?" She opened the closet door to prove there was nothing there but moth eaten clothes of another era; Victorian suits and silk vests, which breast pockets still held dried up carnations. She didn't want to move the clothes when she had moved in. Her clothes were still in her wicker suit case.

"See, nothing, you crazy feline..." But still, Monsieur watched something intently as it moved between two musty faded rose coloured hat boxes. He pounced, his fluffy paws skidding into the closet... and straight into a crumbling hole in the plaster.

"Argh! Look what you did! I don't want to be responsible for damages right before I leave!"

Michiru knelt pulling the wriggling cat out of the dusty, crumbling hole, whiskers flecked with spider webs and plaster. He jumped from her grip and with it the mouse that had been in his mouth. It sped across the floor and under the heater vents.

"Mice..." Michiru declared wrinkling her nose.

"I wondered what had been eating my work shoes..."

Michiru decided the best thing to do would be to push one of the small boxes over the hole for now. She would apologize to Lady Anigusta later, she decided. She wouldn't tell her she was planning to leave; it would be too hard. She was just go.

When she knelt closer to the hole, she noticed something illuminated slightly from the light beams. Papers, as yellow and brittle as dried rose petals, came gingerly out of the makeshift hiding spot, as Michiru lightly pulled them out with her finger tips.

She sneezed from the dust. But however dirty they were, this was like something out of an old mystery novel. Her heart hammered in her chest. She loved the past, and this was surely a secret older then herself and clearly older then even a decade. The date was nineteen fifty seven, and the papers were wrapped around an old flyer from that time titled: "Things of Science."

Michiru sat back on her heels holding the papers as gingerly as glass, sure they would fall apart in her finger tips. Monsieur watched from a distance, his fur puffed out indignantly as he cleaned himself, his catch lying at his paws. There was a dark green collar with garnet gemstones around his neck, and a new silver bell jingled as he moved.

Michiru didn't notice. She was more impressed with the content of the letter she had found. It was addressed but never sent, never sealed. She felt a slow rush of guilt on her cheeks as she read the names on the envelope and fought the temptation to read it.

_Myia Anderson_

_9th Av. Apt. 3B_

_Miss. Cathleen James _

_9th Av. Apt. 5C_

Her eyes widened and her skin crawled over with goose bumps.

This room... this room had been Myia's!

All this time and Lady Anigusta never mentioned it. That explained the forgotten suits hanging on the hooks. But most particular was who she had been writing to. The name sounded familiar.. Oh yes, that was the name on that flyer. Michiru had seen them plastered all over the alley, and blowing in the rainy wind. She hoped someone would pick them up later; it was an awful lot of litter.

She put the letter down and stared at the gaping hole, and it stared right back. Maybe that was why Myia broke it off with Lady, because she was having an affair! Or maybe this Cathleen person was told why she broke up with Anigusta so suddenly.

Curiosity burned within Michiru, a sweet distraction from her own heartache, as she slowly looked down to the yellowed envelope stuffed with sweet explanation. Her fingertips twitched.

Monsieur, clean once again, walked over and sniffed the letter curiously, sneezing as well.

"Well, you must be part detective Monsieur, I would have never known that was there."

He batted at the ribbon that tied the letter shut and Michiru could barely make out the colour of it before it faded to sickening yellow. But as he pulled, parts of the ribbon that had been protected from the knot came loose and it was bright spring green, like a flower stem; Green like the richest eye colour.

Michiru scooped up the cat so his paw would stop its relentless batting.

"I've never seen you so mischievous."

Nuzzling his neck, the new collar itched her cheek through the thick fur of lion like capacity. Surprised Michiru touched the collar, her eyes furrowing slightly. Lady Anigusta wouldn't have put this on him. She didn't believe in collars, for all the pets here were wanderers, and everyone was their own owner more or less.

She turned the shiny silver circle dangling from the bell to her face to read.

"_Meioh..-"_

Before she could make out the rest of the lettering on the tag, he wiggled out of her lap again and bolted from her arms. In his furious retreat, the letter slid from its sheath and rested a few feet away from her.

Michiru stared after him, shocked and wondered if her absence caused him to dislike her.

Frowning, she picked up the letter and the envelope, planning on putting them back together. But her legs carried her over to the bed and her fingers flipped up the brittle top folded edge.

_December 18th, 1957_

"_Dearest Cathleen,"_

Michiru's heart hammered in her chest as she clung onto the brittle parchment. She felt like she was being let in on the biggest secret in history. She wondered just how close Myia was to this 'Cathleen' woman and if Lady Anigusta knew of her. Michiru didn't know Anigusta's last name, and wondered if perhaps this was her sister.

"_I know in my heart the choices I am faced with now, will make us both regretful and sad. I find myself pinned against the wall and I am unable to move, unable to breathe... It seems like an obvious choice, but like a drunkard I am staggering with my decision. I must do what my heart is screaming at me to deny..."_

There were some words scratched out, and some of the paper had begun deteriorating beyond recognition. Michiru picked up at the next most legible spot; admiring the tiny, ornate script in cramped cursive. The undeceive words which were written with such certainty in script, spoke volumes in expression of utter confusion and heart ache.

"_... mockery of my family. All I ever wanted was their approval, I see now this is the only way. I cannot be as strong as you are, like a beacon in the night to us all. You were the real reason of all this, the real leader. I am fake. A weak woman masquerading..." _

Michiru's brows rose to this confession. A leader? A beacon? What did she mean?

There were more scratches and then some faded words, leading in the middle of a sentence.

"...to_ give up now, and let you live and go on because I cannot hurt you anymore. I cannot be the woman you seek; the man you need. _

_I only hope that your life is happy and that you will live your life proudly like I could not._

_I never stopped loving you..._

_Society did this, but the truth is, I never will stop._

_Forever yours, _

_Micheal...Miya"_

Clearly.. Clearly.. Miya had been speaking to Lady Anigusta all along! It had to be.. If only she had sent this letter. It would have saved her so much pain and it was here all along, hidden like the secrets of the heart tend to be. And now it was probably too late.

Why would she keep this from her?

Michiru's naïve mind couldn't comprehend the complicated tangle that adult love must endure. All of this pain, for something that did not work. Lady Anigusta knew in her heart that Miya didn't mean it when she up and left. If only she had shown her this letter, it proved that Miya was in a fix, that she had the best intentions; that she had done it with hopes of protecting her.

Miya had admitted her weakness and declared herself unworthy but forever in love.

Much worse then this shocking example of star crossed romance, was the underlying feeling that something wasn't quite right. That flyer came to her mind, the cold dark print shining through the rain against the street; making her heart fly.

Something much more chilling was going through Michiru's mind now, as she connected the strange name to a familiar face. Surely, it was a coincidence.

Michiru stood shivering a little with excitement, and some wild fear that her subconscious would not let out.

It had to be a coincidence! She needed to see Anigusta!

"I need to show her... can't believe it!" Michiru held the letter to her hammering heart and flew to the door.

Climbing the steps two at a time, that small voice of subconscious, her intuition, was beginning to make the hair stand on end along her arms.

When she had looked back on this moment, she didn't know for sure what made her run up the stairs that way. If it had been from excitement to finally release Lady Anigusta from her lifelong questions and unrequited love, or if it had been something else...

Michiru madly tried to force her skeptical mind away and think about the pleasure on Lady's face, her happy tears. She would make tea and cake, and Michiru would then read the letter to her. The script being much to small for an old woman's eyes; But oh wasn't it beautiful handwriting? 'Miya had wonderful writing, better then my own,' she would laugh and say.

Monsieur tripped her feet constantly, meowing after her as if trying to stop her. She reached the door, and in frustration, scooped up the cat. She didn't know why but she was crying.

"Stop it, Monsieur! What's...What's gotten into you.."

But she had known.

She knew it before she even opened the door.

Lady Anigusta, was indeed Cathleen, and she was gone forever from this world.

Michiru sobbed sliding to her knees in silent anguish, clinging to the open door frame.

The letter fell to the floor, soundless, as age denied it from noise. A light stirring of dust floated up from its wake against the worn wooden panels.

Monsieur stood by the doorway watching, before walking along side Michiru's knees and nudging them.

He had told her so... If only she had listened.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry I couldn't have been here...I'm sorry you were all alone."

The breeze sighed from the open window, a reassurance, and through Michiru's tears, the light seemed to have collected before her in a moving blurry haze. Goose bumps creped along her arms, though she wasn't afraid. She felt Anigusta's presence with her and sighed holding back her tears.

"You were the only person I could have turned to.. I'm sorry you didn't have me."

Michiru was glad the delicate letter was on the wood before her, she was sure her hands would have crushed it before in her pain.

"I'll make it up to you..."

Monsieur watched the dust setting in the air before them, very intensely, as if he saw something she didn't. Then with a flick of his tail, the cat retreated down the stairs and out the door into the misty undeceive morning.

- - -

Michiru had spent all morning in Lady Anigusta's apartment. She curled up in a ball in one of the sunnier parts of the floor and told out loud everything in a gush about the past few days.

She told her that she would leave, she told her there was nothing left for her here now, and she was sorry that she could not live out Anigusta's dream of everlasting romance. Somehow she could see the would be concerned look on Anigusta's face through her closed eyes.

Every once in awhile she stopped to catch her breath through her sobs or to watch the dust glittering through the sun beams.

"I wish we could have tea together one last time.. I feel so empty now.." Michiru sighed and stood wiping her hand across her cheek, smudging her skin with dust.

She glanced around, the room was nearly empty, everything had been removed unless nailed down, besides the piano. Although, she could guess why, the stairs probably couldn't support it any longer anyway.

Walking over to it, Michiru touched the yellowed ivory keys and noticed the warped book in the music holder. It's edges were yellowed and brittle and curled slightly from years and years of turning them.

"All among the Roses.." Michiru read and touched the very antiqued booklet, dating eighteen-seventy-two. Who knows where Anigusta had received it, perhaps a long time ago she bought it in an antique shop on Miya's arm.

Michiru smiled a little and sat down on the stiff worn bench, which was covered by a thin long pillow added for comfort over the years.

"How did you come to get this?" Michiru wondered, somehow saddened that she never bothered to really know about the woman, and took her interests for granted.

She reached out picking it up and holding it. Yes; while they were courting. It had been purchased in an old shop in the beginnings of the alley.

Flipping through the pages she knew instantly why it had been kept all this time. It showed the sweet purity of new love and longing:

"_In an ivy covered cottage, Hidden back of oaken trees, Lives a lovely little maiden, Blythe and  
happy as you please. Where up on a low veranda, Ev'ry violets and roses blooming in her face so fair;  
There's a pretty white Calmillia, ever glowing in her hair. Lovely violets and roses blooming in her face so fair;  
Little stars, and merry sunshine In her In her eyes sp bright and gay. And a choir of angels  
singing In the voice of Millie May. All Among the roses. Making sweet proposes.  
Lovely, laughing, soul bewitching, Sweet Calmillia May, Captivating aggravating never tired of play, Flitting like a little birdie, Happy light and gay.  
Kill me or I'll die with love, for sweet Calmillia May.  
Now, forget not to remember when in love you chance to be, Try and keep in all your feelings. Not act foolishly like me. For I live on, hoping, dreaming of a coming joyous day; when I'll make of one Calmillia, such a lovely sweet Bouquet."_

Michiru smiled, putting the book back and looked out the window over the mourning alley. She must have been such a sentimental person to hold onto such a token as that.

She hoped where ever Anigusta was she was finally at peace, and happy.

Standing Michiru realized what time it must have gotten, only she did not leave in her usual late rush manner.

Walking over to the forgotten letter, Michiru replaced it in its envelope, pushed the flap inside so it would be sealed in some way and placed the letter on the music holder in front of the music book.

She knew she should have gone to the viewing but she didn't want to go alone, and it would be too sad, too impersonal; She didn't need a church, she felt her right here.

"I'm sorry I have to go like this.. I'll see you..". She didn't want to say good bye, and she didn't know what else to say.

Michiru walked a few steps when something glittering in the sunlight on the floor caught her eye. She knelt to pick it up, tiny charms tingled together with the movement.

She stood holding the bracelet knowing she would be late now, but didn't think the floor would be the best spot for the bracelet.

Walking to the window sill she went to place it down, but something deep in her gut told her she shouldn't leave it there. Turning it in her hands Michiru frowned a little until something told her it was a gift.

She smiled and pocketed the bracelet, it didn't feel right to wear it yet, though.

"Thank you.. So long." Michiru crept out and took one last look before closing the door. She raced down stairs to dig up her work clothes, her mind too full of thoughts to let her feel sad.

- - -

**Authors Notes:**

This chapter was longer then I had wanted, but I had forgotten to tie end some ends with Michiru. Chapter eleven will focus mainly on Haruka. And then the long awaited chapter 12. You will see a change beginning in Haruka, not on her own, with some help from an old friend. :smiles: that's all you're getting from me!


	12. Craving

**Authors Notes:**

Yeeah. I'm not dead lol. I'm SO SORRY. It's been months. ; ;  
:swigs root beer:  
In the current events of Neptune's Tears, I have a new online shop for my Cosplay things!  
www. cosplaypropsetc . ecrater . com (Without the spaces!) Please check it out, and if there's something not there that you would like to see, please leave a suggestion. :)

I wrote most of this chapter listening to the Piano version of FFXII '1000 Word's.'

Hope to wrap this up real soon, but I have a new job, and it's very mentally taxing, so it's difficult. (bah I quit.. jobless again :sigh: )  
I'm hoping writing will help let me vent out my emotions a little since I haven't been able to reflect them on paper lately. Although I'm afraid this chapter is becoming as stale as my mood lately. lol. Enjoy.

Thank you all immensely from the bottom of my heart!

Hey, you know I just realized there's some songs that are just a perfect for a soundtrack for this story XD; Id you'd like the list of songs that I used, or listened to that belong with this story, message/email me and Ill find a way to send them to you 3

- - - - - - - -

**Cathleen - Part II**

Michiru had raced by the cathedral where the viewing was being held on her way to work. Despite herself her feet slowed and she stood outside the overwhelmingly large and impressionable building. Her breath came out in short white pants in the misty chilled air. She felt her eyes sting and she swatted at a stray tear.

She couldn't enter..

Michiru hated churches, for reasons she didn't understand fully. She thought from the outside that they were beautiful; it was what was going on inside them that she loathed. Lies, convictions, fear, and hatred.

She shook her head stepping away, and nearly fell backward as her foot slipped on the parking lot curb. A young musician had been on his break since playing in Anigusta's name since dawn, noticed and caught her arm. Setting her upright, his smile reached her through long straggly brown hair that was past his shoulders and fell over his eyes a bit.

Once making sure she was unharmed, he returned to his seat -on the hood of a very fancy sports car- and scratched at his whiskery chin; She wondered whose car it was, for it seemed so familiar with it's shiny yellow color and leather interior...

He was talking to her, and she blinked and looked over.

"Hey.. it's okay.. Anigusta knows you love her." He didn't like churches either.

Michiru glanced around seeing a few of the younger alley members like herself gathered in a quiet circle holding steaming coffee cups and candles that flickered from the wet moisture. Their heads were bowed in prayer or for warmth, she didn't know; Michiru guessed it was for both.

"The only reason they had a service in the church was because of her family; isn't that ironic?" The disgruntled musician rubbed his arms and glared at the large wooden doors.

"Really?" Michiru answered quietly feeling numb and touched at the same time, he seemed to understand; they all did.

"Yeah; they didn't want anything to do with her when she was alive.. Did they?" His calloused thumb brushed a string on his guitar as he continued.

"Anigusta always told us she wanted to go like one of those ancient royalties in the times of King Author; On a boat filled with wild flowers, pushed off to rest eternally to drift to sea.. She wanted to arrive to the Isle of Avalon, but.." He laughed a little and rubbed at his eyes, unashamed of his sadness. Michiru distractedly was surprised; unaware the young man had eyes behind all that hair.

"I doubt the shores here would have taken her that far though.. Crazy old lady. Bless her."

Michiru smiled a little and wiped again at her eyes. Glancing at her watch, she realized it was pretty late now. She would have called out but it was her last day on such short notice. And working at the cafe when everyone else would be there too, well, it was the least she could do.

She swallowed and looked back at the Church, catching a glimpse of a tall man in a black suit; their blonde hair glinted dully in the chilly light. For a moment her heart leapt, and then she scowled and walked off briskly again in the direction of the Cafe; once again swearing at the ghosts in her life.

- - - - - - -

Earlier that morning...

The drive back into Artist Alley had been distracted and bleak.

Despite the festival, the sudden downpour made the tourists scatter like bugs for shelter. Haruka couldn't help but imagine the tourists drifting away from the alley on a make shift ark from all the rain. The idea made her mouth twitch into a bit of a smile; and then the slight throb of pain which followed, reminded her of the night before. She glanced at her self in the mirror and her shiner from the punch could be seen even in the dim sunlight. The shower helped a bit but still, she couldn't help but believe she looked like death wormed over.

As she had drove, the roads were remarkably empty and silent; save a few swirling flyers which had been caught in the rain.

The storm was nearly directly over the alley itself; Haruka could see it from the city limits as she sped closer. It was as though the Alley reflected on the loss of it's former Queen.

All morning, her mind raced across memories brittle and warped; aged for their time. They played over and over, skipping and crackling from the hand of time like a warped record; scratched and unloved for years and years.

While she had been writing the letter to Anigusta, Haruka had been leaning on the grand piano for a make shift desk. Tears had blurred her vision but with every word that her hand conveyed; her cramped writing finally began to loosen. It was a sort of therapy she supposed, as her essence - her soul - began to shake loose. Defrosting just a bit more; As it had always been with Anigusta.

Even with all of Haruka's walls and defenses, the older woman would pet Haruka's boyish hair and smile to her, while Haruka would silently cry in her open hands. Perhaps it was her own pride that had kept Haruka away from the caring older woman for so long. Maybe it had been Haruka's own fear of being wrong about Morgan, from the fact of Anigusta's obvious cold rejection of her. It had been as though Anigusta had known all along, and Haruka hadn't wanted for her to be right.

Maybe she thought by running away, she could've made it all right; but she had been wrong..

For a long moment, Haruka's pen paused in mid air as her eyes shifted unfocused over the glossy surface of the Baby grand's top.

For the first time in over a year, Haruka's fingertips brushed the keys as her body heavily slid down onto the hard bench and she touched uncertainly.

She felt like she was twelve again, awkward and clumsy; sitting in the sunny, musty parlor of Anigusta's small apartment. She could hear all the clocks collected from around the world; all ticking and chiming, all in different time zones.

Haruka's mouth twitched into a smile as she recalled Lady's words to her stiffness during one Piano lesson:

"Child, it will be midnight in China by the time you start playing!" Somewhere in the back ground a clock chimed, quarter till the hour.

A woman in a starched light blue dress stood almost as stiffly at the back of the room. Her hair was pale blonde and neatly dressed; metal bobby pins reflected from the light through the open window.

Scowling slightly, she glanced uninterested and impatient outside of the two story window at the slow pass of the occasional car or alley cat.

Haruka's body would almost shift uncomfortably under the weight of the woman's thick foreboding presence. Anigusta understood and straightened a little, smiling to the distraction that kept the notes locked within her pupil.

"Mrs. Tenou, I'm sure your daughter appreciates your support, but if there's somewhere you need to be right now, we'll be okay from here." Anigusta winked a little to Haruka, who exhaled, a little relieved, not even aware she had been holding her breath all that time.

The woman glanced at the tiny women's wrist watch on her thin arm and looked almost relived; This was her husband's idea and her own spending money which she was wasting: For the child's fingers were dumb and stumbled all morning.

"Well, alright; I _did _have a hair appointment in about fifteen minutes. If you don't mind running the lesson a little later than usual... You'll be paid of course." She added as she looked up from fishing around in her purse for the address of the salon.

Anigusta smiled holding up her tanned, glittering hands.

"Not at all Mrs. Tenou; it's my pleasure. I'll see to it Haruka gets home. Go and enjoy yourself." She smiled escorting the woman out and opening the door for her.

"Oh my no, it would be too much trouble-" The woman replied, casting a nervous glance at her daughter who looked back blankly and waved to her goodbye.

"Nonsense! Now, don't worry, she'll be back for supper. Go on now."

Haruka's mother thinned her lips and glanced at her daughter for a final warning.

"Now, you be good for Miss. Cathleen! Don't you give her trouble; I want you home for dinner by five O'clock, no excuses, hear me?"

Her daughter wearing a pair of boy's jeans (hand-me-down's from her cousins) and a red and white striped tee-shirt, nodded silently and offered a flick of her mouth in a sort of grumpy smile. Her mother sighed and left, somehow reassured at last.

Anigusta hid her knowing smile and shut the door, letting out a long deep sigh of relief.

"Good grief child, no wonder you couldn't play!" She walked over to the window and pushed it open letting in the warm spring air. "She was sucking all the soul out of this room!"

Haruka said nothing but continued to look down at her hands in her lap; her mother's attitude and presence had been weighing her down like soggy bread thrown to ducks in a pond. Anigusta sat once again beside the girl, who seemed to tense from the nearness but relaxed. Although Anigusta had been her teacher for years and years, lately, she hadn't even known herself. And so it was as though she was a stranger to everyone all over again.

The older woman combed her knowing fingers through the golden blond uneven locks that was Haruka's hair. Once long and beautiful, it was sheared off in places and uneven.

"Your Mamma was going to take you in today to fix your hair, wasn't she?" The wise woman remarked reaching into a table drawer beside the piano, the top of which was covered in various shades of embroidery thread. Haruka swallowed and nodded a little, her eyes stormy and unsure.

"Haruka, it's okay now; you can talk to me.. She's gone, Honey."

Haruka turned and looked at her, eyes flaring from emotions that were eating her up inside; new, frightening, horrible emotions.

"Oh yeah, how do I know? I know you both talk to each other about me all the time! I hear you both!" she snapped defensively and bristled inching further from the woman stubbornly. Anigusta only smiled and held the shears in her hands, the drawer beside the piano was still open and a fumbling moth crawled free from it's previous prison.

"It's true, I know it. But Haruka, I'm on your side. Child, who do you think got you any chance with these lessons at all? Your mother.. is a kind woman at heart, but sometimes she lets her mind control the matter at hand." Anigusta stood and placed her hand on Haruka's shoulder. Haruka was watching the twittering weakness of the moth, who clung to the edge of the drawer fighting a sudden gust of spring wind from the open window. Anigusta followed her eyes understanding.

"I know how you feel, Haruka..."

Haruka hardened her eyes. "No you don't... No you don't!" She was trembling.

"But I do young one.."

"I'm not so young anymore!.. I'm.. not a child anymore.. I'm.. I'm.. a.."

Haruka tried to groped for the right word, but the terminology died in her throat. She swallowed, the confusion and turmoil so strong in her eyes, it made Anigusta's heart want to break.

"You are a perfectly talented, capable young adult, Haruka. Who has the whole world before you.. " Anigusta said powerfully almost heart broken by the strong bitter confusion in a girl so young.

She knelt in front of the trembling girl whose eye's flashed, warning danger.

"But I know you're scared right now. I know there's something you can't understand raging in your soul right now, but one day it will all make sense.."

"Mother says its a phase.." Haruka muttered, her fingers pressed on the keys as she spoke. "She said soon I'll like dresses again.. and we'll talk about boys together." Anigusta's eyes rose, and her face reddened as though that was the most ridiculous thing she ever heard.

"Don't you worry about your Momma, I'm on your side Haruka; I'll make her understand."

Standing again, Anigusta moved behind the young girl again and took up her hair, beginning to snip it further.

"Wha..What are you doing!" Haruka exclaimed, watching the rest of her shoulder length locks fall down to curl into limp piles at her waist and on the glossy floor.

"I'm fixing your hair child! You can't go around in those clothes, with uneven hair all wild like that.." Haruka shivered feeling the smooth back end off the scissors blades slide against her neck as Anigusta trimmed her hair shorter then she ever comprehended.

With each lock gone, Haruka's soul opened up a little bit more; she felt lighter and freer; but scared to death.

"What will Father say.."

Anigusta smiled a little and patted the girls head affectionately before trimming around the ears and the bangs.

"Don't you worry about that.. You will be loved. You know that don't you?"

Haruka blinked and sneezed from her own hair tickling her nose. When Anigusta was done, Haruka sprang up and ran over to the warping mirror leaning against the wall and ran her fingers through her hair working out the snipped pieces before she was satisfied. She stared for a long moment; Unsure eyes shyly peeking back at the beginnings of curves in boys clothes.

"You're handsome now."

Anigusta offered a smile and Haruka blushed a little and slowly walked back to the piano. The newly trimmed blonde sat down, and with a grin began to play a sort of jazzy light melody that she had been tinkering with for the past few days when her parents weren't home.

Anigusta stood off to the side, glancing out the window, letting the child free up a bit.

Even though the only sign that the older woman had been listening, was the slight bowing of her head to the beat, Haruka felt Anigusta's warmth spread through the room like sunlight, and fill even the cracks in the crumbling Victorian plaster.

-

Haruka blinked feeling an icy drop of rain hit her cheek, with startling force.

She had been standing in front of the cathedral deciding whether to enter or not; her weight shifting from one foot to another. A breath holding moment passed. And then it took only a second for Haruka to decide and cross the stone entryway.

Pacing around the reception area for almost twenty minutes gave her feet something to do and her mind time to wander before the sermon started. She waited her place in line, and then slowly walked forward. Her eyes took in an ironic scene before her.

Alley people on the right, and Anigusta's 'family' on the left.

Haruka felt the stares from the left of the room like a heavy weight. All the Alley members felt it and even though they turned together for comfort, their heads were held high.

Anigusta's true family..

Within minutes the rows and pews became packed as more and more Alley members flooded in to pay their respects.

Once it became so full that people were standing in the back, sitting on the floors or in corners, someone from the left of the room finally closed the doors, shutting out the rest with a annoyed scowl. It was painfully obvious then, how wonderful Anigusta had been for everyone in the Alley.

Haruka had took her place stiffly against a cold pew and leaned forward bowing her head, thumbs pressing the sides of her nose. Whether she was in pain or praying, no one could decide.

A voice from her right caught her attention, she sat up looking over, the words triggering a memory...

"Haruka, Where have you been?"

-

"Well? .. I was worried sick!"

The stiff little woman scowled as her daughter darted into the house and up the stairs; shutting the door against the questions and the stares.

"What did you do, Cathleen?" The woman trembled with anger, or fear or both.

"I apologize, I know it was not my place.."

"No, it certainly was not, was it?" Haruka's mother retorted and looked up the stairs where Haruka was brooding. She hadn't wanted to come home; Anigusta made her return, but the older woman did not have the heart to tell that to Haruka's worried parents; however confused and oppressing they were.

"I hope you will continue to let the child see me, she has an immense amount of talent-"

"We'll see; but after today I wouldn't be looking forward to it." Somewhere from inside the next room, piano notes died in the air and a wooden key guard slammed down to rest.

"I know what's best for my daughter! Do you understand?" Anigusta barely had time to register Haruka's father make his way tiredly up the stairs, slamming his own bedroom door in the wake of his wife's wrath.

Anigusta looked down a bit and bowed her head.

"I understand, but please for Haruka's sake, do not take out my actions on her-"

"We'll talk more later, I can't continue with this anymore tonight. Thank you for seeing my _daughter _home. Goodnight."

-

A pair of lonely scared eyes watched Anigusta as she made her way down the path in front of the house and smiled up at the window waving good bye.

The boyish figure above smiled and waved back; the bedroom door then opened and the blinds flicked shut after a tense moment.

Anigusta hardened her face and turned quickly getting into her antique car and speeding off toward the solstice of her Alley; Far away from the outskirts of the cold city.

-

"Haven't seen you around here in a while.. you alright?" The voice asked further in response to Haruka's lack thereof.

"Huh?.. Oh.. Yeah. Thanks.." Haruka managed a small smile and patted the suited woman's shoulder; a pretty woman on her arm smiling comfortingly back.

The sight pained Haruka so she slouched again and kept her eyes to the front. The cryptic words and prayers flowed over the stone walls like pattering rain for what seemed like hours.

Her eyes unfocused through most of it, until finally the mood began to shift from still to action. People began to talk softly, standing, crying, walking up to pay their respects to the closed coffin. Haruka darkly watched them for a long moment, thinking how Anigusta hated closed spaces and was probably watching them all from some higher place, and flicking off whoever decided to put her body in that cramped casket.

Haruka allowed a tiny smile and stood stiffly, her legs dull and achy from disuse.

Walking up to the casket, Haruka stared into a black and white photo of a young college woman in dress clothes holding some books. Writing below the picture lead her to believe it was post-Alley Cathleen; Such bright eyes, such a forced smile..

Did Anigusta have a mentor who broke her free as she had once done for Haruka when she was younger?

Placing her hand on the coffin, it's surface was smooth and surprisingly warm. It felt so impersonal to Haruka; even a séance would have been more right, she thought.

Well, there really wasn't much left that she could do now, so reaching her hand into her suit jacket pocket, she pulled out the crème envelope from before.

Looking at it, Haruka slipped it through the crack of the coffin; It's contents now lost forever to anyone in this plane of life. (And perhaps that was why Haruka allowed it.)

She tried very hard to swallow her guilt for not having the courage to look into Anigusta's face one last time.

But somehow the older woman's face from her memory was enough; The tanned gypsy with the glittering bangles, mysterious eyes and a melancholy disposition.

Haruka rested her palm against the coffin for a moment before turning with a pained expression and walking from the front of the room. As she turned, her eyes roamed over the people, and stopped one on in particular.

An elderly gentlemen..

No; an elderly woman in a moth eaten suit that appeared even older then its owner.

A full bloomed lily was in the breast pocket.

Haruka stood there for a moment, watching the woman who looked so broken and yet so defiant.

A younger man standing next to the woman looked over at Haruka and seemed to recognize her. He almost bowed in her direction until a woman standing just behind him grabbed his arm and whispered something in his ear. He blushed and looked away, embarrassment coloring his cheeks, no longer able to look in Haruka's direction.

Obviously he did not know about the huge fall out between herself and Morgan, till now.

Haruka looked to the woman who had informed him and realized it was Morgan's older sister; the younger man was her son.

And so the older woman in the suit... were those tears of Miya's for real?

Miya Anderson looked to Haruka; a glimmer of days long ago made her faded green eyes glimmer just a moment. The gaze made Haruka shiver even though her heavy suit jacket.

In all her years of courting Morgan, she never once met her mother, Miya. Morgan was a father's girl and hated her mother for reasons Haruka did not understand, until now.

The weight of this -of Miya's true devotion- and the idea that it was Miya's mistake that had caused so many years of anguish..

It took such strength to show her face here at the Alley after what had happened. Of course everyone knew, but she had enough guts to face it and admit to everyone here today, everyone who loved Anigusta when she couldn't; that she needed forgiveness.

A few alley members watched from a distance, before tentatively approaching and shaking Miya's hand. They offered a smile of shared condolence before leaving.

Seeing this parallel so boldly between herself and Miya, hit Haruka like a weight to her stomach.

What was worse was that Miya faced it.. It took time, but she _did_ it.

Could _Haruka_?

Frozen with compilation, Miya watched Haruka. And in those faded green eyes, Haruka saw herself staring right back.

Feeling slightly light headed, she offered a slight nod to the woman who was almost like a legend and quickly turned. Making her way to the large wooden doors again, Haruka felt almost claustrophobic from being in the cathedral for so long.

Once outside she took in a few good gulp full's of chilly midmorning air, haven't noticing the kids from that morning until the scruffy musician from earlier had his butt parked on the hood of her sports car.

"Hey, kid, do you mind?" She asked caught somewhere between surprise and anger.

The guitar played looked over and nonchalantly stood.

"Fancy city cars don't belong here.. You should leave."

Haruka blinked outraged. "Excuse me; I've been in this alley since before you were even conceived.."

"Yeah right, Man, just go home. Quit polluting the alley with your superficial city attitude." He retorted and stalked off a bit, the kids now gathering and glaring in Haruka's direction.

The light from their candles made them glow softly like super natural beings, angels or ghosts; guides for Anigusta's soul almost.

And suddenly Haruka understood. Look who she had become, it was no wonder..

Her eyes flicked back at the cathedral, before she dug her hands into her pocket and dug out her keys.

The young Alley kid's eyes boar into her for a long moment as she tore from the parking lot and onto the route that would take her to the beach house; One last time.

- - - - - -

Michiru -pale faced and awkward- tugged on the cafe door for what she knew would be the last time. If the correct word for the current events were lucky -which she guilty felt were not- everyone was too preoccupied with what had been happening to notice her disposition or ask questions.

In fact the cafe was pretty quiet compared to how it had been booming the past few days.

Before she slipped into the shift she had just started to get the knack of, Michiru disappeared silently behind a waterfall of lightly clanking wooden beads.

The bamboo curtain lightly swung and tapped her back as she stood there staring into the tiny dim room which was the Manager's office; seeing a cup of cold green tea, a blank computer screen and a half uneaten scone.

"Where could she be.. She is usually always back here.." Michiru mused out loud to the empty room.

She was almost relieved not to face those stern garnet eyes, as she would explain her sudden leave of absence. As she turned to leave, the guilty feeling of butterflies twittered a dance in her stomach.

Michiru slipped out through the curtain once again and braced herself, for the day seemed never ending, and her exterior felt as thin as rice paper.

- - - - - -

Once back at the beach house, Haruka roughly peeled off her suit and pulled on some more casual clothes. She packed (more like threw) the rest of her things into the forgotten duffle bag that had been left on the floor; in an unceremonious way. Neglect to pack the girly items where Michiru had lined them on the shower, was intentional.

Haruka briskly walked through the hall and rooms, securing the windows and locking them tight. The house almost seemed to groan in protest.

"I shouldn't have returned." She mused out loud.

In her distant, stinging rage, Haruka had managed to clear out everything in less than two hours. The house seemed almost as empty and as untouched as before.

As Haruka went to pick up her keys from the small hall table, her eyes lingered on the pastel blue, 'Cafe Luna' muffin box from only the morning before last.

Whatever possibilities that could have come from that, was gone now; in the trash where it belonged.

Without a second glance Haruka turned to leave, the bass door knob clicking closed behind her with a final soft 'whoosh' of escaping air.

Haruka took the steps two at a time, tossing her duffle bag into the back seat and noticing the wrinkled jacket from a few days ago. She picked it up and put both her bag and the jacket in the trunk where they belonged, slamming it closed.

Taking a deep shaky sigh, Haruka reached into her pockets hoping to find a piece of mint gum to distract herself with while she drove the long drive back to the city.

However she had surprised herself, when in her coat pocket was a pearly white envelope with her name on it from one of the best F-1 sponsors she had as of yet.

With furrowed tired slate jade eyes, Haruka finally broke into her own letter, and read the tiny ornate scripting.

It was a contract; a lease for her life and soul to remain at the base of the steering wheel; until one of two things where to occur but both things resulted in the termination of the contract...

After a long moment with no sound except the light crinkling of the document in the wind and the rolling surf, Haruka reached into her pocket. Her fingers groped and wrapped around a pen. And as she tugged it free from her pocket, something tiny and forgotten slipped out as well, falling onto the gravel.

It rolled and laid face down; its surface lined with groves and tiny speckles of sand.

Haruka blinked at the noise and looked numbly at the clam shell at her feet.

"I don't believe in magic any more.." Haruka said out loud to it; her reasoning against picking it back up.

Finding her gum finally, she eased a piece into her mouth slowly; Opening the pen was the easy part. She pointed the tip down to the 'X'ed line at the bottom of the first page.

Her hand was shaky and reluctant to sign for reasons she couldn't comprehend. Furrowing her brows, she scribed her signature and flipped the page to sign the next spot, gritting her teeth.

She didn't understand what the problem was; this was her life long dream. Yes, this was her gambling her future away, but damn, that didn't matter anymore!

She didn't know she was so sentimental until now; Was that the reason?

Even If she lived, or if she died; It didn't matter. Not now... Not anymore.

Opening the driver's door, the third page was flipped open laying upright, the pen resting on top with its cap haphazardly off.

Black ink began to collect and crept its way through the fibers of the paper, like tiny dark veins; consuming the words.

Haruka made her way down the tiny wooden make shift steps to the beach. Her foot steps were staggered and heavy. As the wind blew, they disappeared behind her as though this moment had no concept of time.

"Dammit!" She hissed out loud and kicked at the waves, salty icy water soaking the legs of her pants. "Damn _you_!.." She kicked again, and picked up handfuls of pebbles and stones pitching them as hard and as fast she could into the slate grey water. The water churned threateningly as though getting defensive.

She threw until her arms felt weak and her voice was sore.

Haruka was never really sure who she was yelling at but somehow it made her feel justified. Whether or not she was yelling at Anigusta, or Michiru, it didn't matter.

Both were gone from her life now; there was nothing she could do.

As Haruka regained her breathing, her head was down, and so she had no idea how agitated the surf had become from her retorts.

The water rushed her and dragged her down; sand collapsing underneath her staggering feet.

A wave crashed over her head; water filled her mouth. She held her breath and tried not to panic as the water flipped her around like a rag doll.

Once she had an opening to try, Haruka groped for balance; the sand was slipping from underneath as she tried to stand.

Another wave, but this time she had enough sense to close her mouth.

Haruka really had no idea how much time had passed, but it felt like forever. In all the races she had been in, she was never more frightened.

Finally the weakened blonde crawled out, stumbling over her heavy feet. Her body was heavy and tingling numb from the assault of icy water and rough sand. She managed to run the last few long steps onto dry sand. She flopped down heavily and coughed, hating the taste of the salt water. She spat out sandy grit from her mouth and swore lowly.

"Gods.." She breathed and coughed at the same time. She was too shaken to feel irritated at how her clothes stuck plastered to her skin and weighed her down.

"Serves me right.. I suppose." Haruka laid back, already sandy so it didn't matter and draped her arm over her forehead.

"I could have died." She mused quietly to the now more passive water, which teased her toes as though a warning. Drawing her knees up, Haruka suppressed a sob; none the less hot tears slipped down her cheeks.

'What in the hell am I doing?.. Fighting with the water like an idiot..'

She closed her fist to draw the back of her hand over her face, when something smooth and round in her fingers made her freeze.

Blinking, Haruka slowly sat up and stared at a perfectly white clam shell with round ridges not grooves like the first one Michiru had given her.

Haruka managed to stand, slowly, her palm gripping the shell and stared at it for a moment; Even the wind had changed.

She felt.. different. Tired, sore, weak; definitely. But she felt.. changed, new.

The ocean had taken her in, pounded her, roughened her and then smoothed her out; literally spat her out. She was new; humbled, shocked, awed. Though her skin was raw and pink, open and oozing from the burning treatment, that wasn't the only thing that had been stubbornly forced open.

Broken and healed, Haruka couldn't give a damn any longer; nor did she care to. She laughed, loud and throatily; The tears rinsed away the grit of sand.

The blonde began to walk, not really looking at where she was going; Only concentrating on the rebirth happening in her soul.

Only looking at the tiny little physicality of her change resting within her palm.

--------

TO BE CONTINUED! (And I mean it! lol. Honestly, I DEEPLY APOLOGISE, for the loooong wait!

ONE MORE FINAL CHAPTER COMING UP! Plus a mini little finale ;) BE PAITENT!

Thank you, I love you all!


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